Name That Tune

Since I haven't done this in such a long time. Please name the tune that contains the line

The smell of burning leather...

I want the artist, and album the song first appeared on.

Good Luck!

Has It Really Been This Long?

Naughty, Naughty

Certainly I've posted something since my birthday last month? Things have been rather uneventful but not that dull. The world has continued to spin and things here aren't nearly as cold as they were last week.

A Few Good Beers

A couple weekends ago Rainbird and I headed into town to imbibe at the Holiday Ale Festival, which is always a treat for the taste buds. I had a wonderful IPA from Madriver Brewing Company that was to die for, well maybe not that but certainly worth the four dollars for a glass. You can check out the complete list of beers served here.

Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

The deep fat fryer it seems went the American Flag in Tennessee Causing a huge uproar that has seemingly reverberated across the country, renewing for now a call to defend the flag. Now this person, William Gentry wasn't making a statement about Iraq, or Dubya, but was making a statement about how fat American is. It might come as surprise that while deep frying the American flag might seem distasteful on many levels, it also raised the point that Americans, despite a love of low fat, low carb, and low cholesterol foods, are fatter than they were just a couple decades before. Can we blame our quick fix society on this? Is fast food alone to blame?

I don't think fast food is to blame, as much as advertisers that blast images of perfect burgers in front of our eyes in 45-second increments. We enjoy blaming the fast food companies for giving us the conveniences of not having to cook each meal. In fact, I think we've forgotten how to cook entirely. Just the other day I was talking about baking a cake for the holidays from scratch and my Mother-in-law asked why would I want to go through all that work. Since when is throwing eggs, butter, sugar, salt, baking powder into a mixer work? If I buy a box of cake mix, I still have to measure the water, eggs, and oil. So, I have to measure a couple more things, I don't see that as being a problem. It's certainly not a lot "work." I think we've gotten so out of the habit of cooking that we've honestly forgotten that it's just as easy to cook a healthy dinner as it is to pick up junk food on the way home, or wait for that pizza to be delivered.

Instead of discussing the flag in oil issue, lets seriously discuss what can be done to make American's healthier. Perhaps New York City has the right idea by banning all trans fats but they aren't the only culprits at work here. What about those sugary cereals marketed for children and now being labeled "whole grain" to make parent's feel better about giving it to their children. Refined flour is still a grain, a refined one, but it's considered a grain nonetheless.

The Grinch Carries a Menorah?

I don’t know what to say about the fool that complained at Seatac Airport about the holiday decorations but he caused them to take down everything. I'm really getting tired of all the ass wipes that seem to think that they can throw around the word "sue" and not get a response. This guy complained that they should have a Menorah, and told them if they didn't he'd sue. Then after he causes a National uproar over the issue, he's saying that he didn't mean for them to take everything down. Exactly what did he mean when he said he'd sue? I guess that meant to him cave to my wishes or pay me.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Well Another Year

No I Don't Want To And You're Not Going To Make Me

Rainbird came home and asked what was for dinner tonight, I told him maybe chicken wings. He said no, he wanted to eat something more than that, "Something meaty". I told him everything was frozen so he screamed that I should "Take Something Out!" I screamed back that I hadn't thought about it and he said that I should "make a fucking menu for the week."

I screamed back at him, "I don't want to." He retorted, "Why, afraid of being organized?" I looked at him, blinked several times and screamed even louder, "You don't live in a FUCKING HOTEL," then I continued, "your clothes are washed, meals prepared, house cleaned, sheets changed but it's still NOT A FUCKING HOTEL!"

I think I won this round.

Brief News

Today is my birthday

Does one fucking person in this house remember? Tonight I have to go to a fucking cocktail party and I'd just as soon claw my eyes out than go to this.

The two idiots are tying the knot in Rome this weekend…at least that's what every NEWS station is reporting…as if I really give a shit, nor do I care about what they get as wedding gifts, or how difficult they are to buy for. At least we didn't have to wait until his next movie comes out but we did have to wait until it came out on video.

OJ has penned a book. No, it's not a bunch of Neanderthal scribbles and pictures; I'm told it has words and sentences. Its all about "if" he did kill his ex-wife, Nicole and Ron Goldman how he would have done it. This idea is disturbing on many levels, one being what the fuck is this "if" shit. Everyone except for 12 idiots in LA (which explains why) pretty much knew he did it. He's always been a jackass to the Goldman family…but to do this? For personal gain? This was a woman he was married to, and thought enough at one time to share his life with, and have babies with. This is what you do to someone that at one time you cared about? You write a book about "if" you had committed their murder, this is how you would have done it? This is a man with no honor or sense of reality, and that somehow people are still drawn to him for some reason, is a mystery and not understood by me. So, not only is he not convicted of a crime, but also he never has to pay the families he's hurt because he hides his money behind his children, and he gets to write a book, rubbing their faces into it! On what planet is this right? What kind of sociopath publisher would encourage such a thing?

This man is clearly a coward and the book needs to go away, along with him.

I'll be back next week to report on Thanksgiving preparations and general hell.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Shifting Sands

United We Stand?

Two years ago George W Bush stood before the American people and acknowledged that our country was divided and he would do his best to unite us. Ironically, it was basically the same thing he said 4 years earlier at his State of the Union address--before 9-11. The obvious painful truth is that he wasn't interested in uniting or healing our country as long as his side was running it.

Now in what I find to be a complete shift in irony the Republicans are saying that our country is divided. As though before it wasn't really that divided because they were in control? The previous question is completely rhetorical and you're free not to answer it. Donald Rumsfeld resigned immediately after learning the Democrats had taken the House of Representatives. I'm not sure how I feel about it either, I mean it just seems a little chicken shit to me. I loved the half assed answers the man would provide to direct not so complex questions, it provided much comic relief for me and I didn't have to watch the Daily Show. All I had to do was watch C-Span.

Of course Republicans are talking about a divided America when they aren't talking about how our country isn't as safe as it was last week. I'm sorry but if a group of people decides they must win by making the rest of us feel unsafe, I'm not too sure I want them around much.

When I heard the news that the Democrats had taken the House I wasn't entirely surprised, the Bushwhackers had been saying there would be no changes. We all know from watching Survivor or Big Brother that one with the biggest mouth, at the end of day is the one caught in a shake up or sent home. I understand that the lead isn't so great that I have to really worry about Barbara Streisand setting policy anytime soon. That said, when I heard the Democrats had taken control of the Senate, I was taken slightly aback. I knew it would be close but found myself gobsmacked at how thoroughly pissed off people obviously are with Iraq. Regardless of what Republicans are saying I can assure you it wasn't the recent scandals that turned off voters. After the Catholic Priests, Boy Scouts, Enron, Tyco, Any Oil Company and Martha Stewart, we're all a little numb to scandal and have come to expect some form of scandal from our leaders. Be it in the form of running past security, or getting involved in a DWI. I think most issues will be nonissues, with the huge exception of Illegal Immigration and that does have me a little worried, but I'm trying not to let it dampen my obtimism, because I am hopeful.

When Clinton was impeached, I didn't care much for the reason, after all Ken Starr was supposed to be investigating White Water, not Monica Lewinsky. It doesn't take much to figure out what goes around comes around. I said it again when the Dems made a fucking fuss over Al Gore in 2000 and walked around for months afterward saying they were robbed. Get over it.

I'll admit I like an evenly matched Senate because it forces them to come together, a close house would likely do the same. I also like having one party in the Presidency and the other not so strongly controlling congress because it makes everyone carefully choose their battles. I think it makes for better laws, and reminds all in government that ultimately they really do work for all of us.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

So Much For an Extra Hour of Sleep

Changing the Clocks or Where is that Fucking Manual?

I'll admit when it comes to putting things together, Rainbird is my man, especially when it comes to making a stereo work. He'll spend hours fiddling with it making sure his equalizer that he's had since High School (read: 25 years) sounds incredible. But if it has a clock, or can be programmed for something, it falls under my realm of the world. Rainbird couldn't program a VCR let alone figure out how to change the time on the thermostat. Honestly I'm grateful that time on Cell phones is automatically set because damn, he can barely take a picture with his cell.

So, I had a feeling I'd have trouble changing the time on the TEAC CD X9 he bought me last year because he programmed the time, and he changed the time when the time change came around last April. It should be noted he also lost the manual. So, it's 1:30 AM on Sunday morning and I have EVERY light on downstairs playing with the remote control trying to figure out how to set the time. Repeatedly pressing the memory/time set button with no results. Searching through drawers trying to locate the missing manual, and wasted 45 minutes online trying to find one there. I could buy one manual online on EBAY for $12.00 but that wouldn't help me NOW; would it?

Finally, I sit on the sofa, an exhausted thoroughly pissed-off mess, and turn it off, when a light went on in my head. While it was still off I hit the Memory/time set button and everything begins to flash. I roll through and it sets the time. It can't be that easy and turn the machine on then off again, but the new correct time is still there. I sigh, relieved and content now that the manual can just remain lost until the next time I need to do something more complicated than turning on the Tuner or Playing a CD.

Well this Takes The Cake

If you watch the show then show Little People Big World on TLC than you might already know that the little boy (non-dwarf) was seriously injured in a pumpkin catapult accident. He had to have emergency brain surgery and is in serious condition (which is hospital speak for could go either way). Well now the people that live around their farm in rural Oregon are not gathering around the family during this tragedy but instead saying that it was their fault, and something should have been done long ago about them…blah, blah, blah.

Speaking of Cake Taking

Apparently Heather Mills takes the cake too when she left her daughter's birthday party. Paul McCartney took their daughter and Heather took the left over cake.

One must have their priorities.

Speaking of Priorities

Freak Michael Jackson is accepting yet another award that he likely paid for. Last I had heard he was living in Saudi Arabia or something like that, but now I guess he's living in Ireland. He will of course appear to accept his award (cough, cough). It should be noted that this is a invite only awards show, so the only fans present will be the ones hand picked and planted by MJ's people.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

It's Better This Way

A Kick in the Ass

Yesterday, was a very rough day but in the clearing skies, I've also seen a clearing in my thoughts. Fredo might have autism, but I'm sure there are probably hundreds of parents out there that wish their children are as functional as he is. He has a lot of things going for him and I'm not letting the little things trip us up anymore.

We are so Fucking Mean

All of us regarding Fredo's issues case in point, last night while Rainbird was eating dinner I was explaining to him the way IEP works (as I know it) and mentioned the words, "Special Ed". It should be noted the boys were on the sofa watching Spongebob but each time I said the words, "Special Ed," a certain voice on the sofa without missing a beat said, "YaY!"



Each time Rainbird nearly choked and blew eggs out his nose, it wasn't a pretty sight. Once we get used to an idea of something we're a family of mean assholes with a sick and twisted sense of humor.

She Said, the World Said

I guess I have to weigh in on the idea of bored Hollywood buying babies in Africa or anywhere else for that matter. I don't know for certain but hasn't Hollywood had a long and rich history of buying babies? I mean, Joan Crawford actually adopted more than the two featured in the film but if you only watched the film you'd never know that. Actually they also said nothing bad happened to Christina…but I digress. This is not about an over-the-hill out of the spotlight celebrity beating a child with a wire coat hanger.

This is about an over-the-hill mostly out of the spotlight celebrity buying a baby under the guise of building a school or someshit that will serve to teach the pseudo-religion Kabbalah. I don't care if she buys one baby or a thousand, I don't care if she started this process two weeks ago or two years. I don't really give a crap what she does, and frankly why should the world be getting their panties in a bunch over this.

There are so many more important things to get your panties in a bunch over, another loud-mouth broad on The View whining that Law and Order used a name close to her own in an episode. I guess she actually called the producer or something on the phone and browbeat the bastard over it. Considering I don't know whom the fuck this woman is and really don't give a shit it seems much ado about nothing.

Finally Rush Limbaugh again broke a Godfather rule and blurted out when he should have listened and accused Michael J Fox of faking his Parkinson's. Some on the right are shaking their heads but the ones on the left are just being nasty about it. Come ON people! Limbaugh is drugged out jackass! I'm not going to listen to his opinion any more than I'm going to pay attention to those nuts protesting military funerals, Cindy Sheehan, Pat Robertson, or Sean Hannity. If you're interested you can google his name and see how he's attempting damage control by saying that the media is manipulating MJF.

I'm sorry, but I do agree that we should pursue stem cell research regardless of what other idiots might think.


© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Let the Blame Begin

As I sat in the First Grade classroom it quickly became apparent that this wasn't going to be a "normal" parent teacher conference. I had hoped, but those hopes were soon dashed when the special Ed teacher walked into the classroom. Those dashed feelings were only a fleeting warm memory as the teacher explained that they believed Fredo has Autism and passed a questionnaire across the table. I guess from that point on I had a hard time focusing on what to say or which emotion to pull from.

One thing that did stand out in my mind during the meeting was usage of the word "label." No one actually spoke the word Autistic or Autism; they just talked about the fact that we'd be "labeling him." Is the label really a bad thing? If I were a juggler wouldn’t want to be labeled as such and be entitled to rights and privileges. Or is this different? Will a label of Autism sentence him to a life of special Ed, with no hope of ever getting out? If he had only two legs I wouldn't hesitate "labeling" him a paraplegic. Why am I having such a difficult time with this?

Silly me, I thought I'd be relieved. Maybe I'm learning more about myself during this process than I'd care to see. Maybe I'm just seeing all my failings and areas I just didn't do enough, and I know I'm just as frustrated with all this as Rainbird is. He did a wonderful job of blaming me by pointing out each time I have made things easier on Fredo. How many times have I said for Rainbird to just take the older one somewhere instead of both? Too many I suppose but not because Fredo was too difficult it was more about Piss-boy deserving a good time. That was why I told Rainbird not to take Fredo camping over the summer. I asked myself at which point do we start punishing the older child by trying to teach the younger a lesson. I guess my answer was as usual wrong.

Maybe it's just the word "Autism" that conjures up images of Rainman and someone flawlessly playing the piano. Savants are rare I'm learning, so it's likely that my Fredo won't have any special talents. Guess we'd better cancel those tickets to Vegas.

I promise tomorrow's blog will be about a much lighter subject.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Busy Weekend and Busier Week Ahead

Good Food, Good Beer and Bad Carbs

I love it when people come to visit because it allows Rainbird and I, though begrudgedly, to go off our diet and eat and drink crap we're not supposed to. For example, Friday I had chicken fried steak and eggs and it was hardly carb worthy but it kind of set the tone for the whole day. After that, eating the elephant ear and drinking a beer (not at the same time) didn't seem nearly as bad. Neither did the mashed potatoes I pretended to pick at until they were all gone that evening at dinner.

Two things I noticed upon eating lots of carbs, Rainbird was back to taking really stinky shits in the morning and I waking up during the night with god-awful (note: not just awful but god-awful) heartburn. Today, it's right back on program…yes, really, our guest is gone, and our excuses have run out. Protein and salad for at the very least a week and doesn't that sound exciting?

Busy Week

It's fall clean-up time around here when I rotate all the clothes and make the kids go through their rooms, to of course to make room for the new stuff they'll surely acquire for the holidays. Today, Fredo needs to go to the dentist, we all need to get flu shots, and it's parent teacher conference day from hell. I'll probably need to get to the market and pick up a few things.

More to Come

I'm running out of time, so I'll either update this later or post tomorrow.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Obladi, Oblada Life Goes On...Ohhhh

When Did Everyone Get So Stupid?

I don't have a large extended family, really just a few aging people; my husband Rainbird is different, with his family size much larger. My family, the old ones (keyword: OLD) think they know everything. Now years ago (keyword: Long fucking time), gift certificates were on paper and good for a few months or maybe a year after they were issued. That changed more than a decade ago in California when the state Supreme Court determined that gift certificates could NEVER expire (key phrase: as long as there is a California).

Now this brings you to my family, who all do still reside in California, but are also convinced it's 1948 instead of 2006. Case in point, I gave my grandma a gift card for her birthday this year (a dollar per year…pretty clever of me, huh?) and she never used it. She was afraid to because she didn't understand that she could just take it somewhere [read: ANY FUCKING PLACE VISA is accepted] and use it. It was active, I know this because the receipt I had said so.

I talked to her today and she tells me that she called the company and they're sending her a check for 40 dollars…I ask her what for and she said that's all the card was worth. I asked her if she bought anything. She said no. So, what the fuck is going on. I ask her for the number on the card, she gives me her regular credit card number. Like a big fucking stupid I call the company prepared to bitch them out, when I realize they know nothing because it's a regular Visa number.

I call Grandma back, and come to find out that she threw it away because she had too long and some fucking genius in my family said it wouldn’t' work anymore. This is coming from the same people that keep calling and say things like, "I didn't know Hawaii had earthquakes." When I tell them that they have them here too,

This is coming from the same people that keep calling and say things like, "I didn't know Hawaii had earthquakes." When I tell them that we have them here too, they argue with me, telling me that they've never heard of earthquakes up here. Well jeeze that's a big fucking load off for me because if they've never heard of earthquakes in the Pacific Northwest, obviously they've never fucking occurred.

Am I Missing Something?

I'm not one to defend anything the material one does, but if Bradelina can adopt an African baby and the child's father has no issue, why is there a fuss? Are they worried that more weathly Hollywood actors will go to Africa and adopt orphaned children? Maybe Dan or Tracey has posted something about this to enlighten me.

This Just Isn't Me

I don't mind cleaning, except when Rainbird gets on my ass about it after a couple grimy stairs comments, I cleaned them. Then he started bitching about other crap and the next thing I know I'm cleaning out drawers and getting rid of old clothing. Why? Well because he wanted me do other things and I figured if I clean out my dresser drawers I'd have more room for clothes. Of course that will require shopping. What is strange about all this, is that I'm starting to enjoy cleaning. I don't know if that is the right way of wording it but I'm afraid it's a way to stave off boredom, but that said, I can't help to feel that somehow Rainbird is winning.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Tuesday Rambles

Regarding Fredo

They're finally going to test him and give him the help he needs, I suspect it will involve taking the short bus to school but I'm not going to worry about that now. I just hope it doesn't take half the year to figure it out.

Piss-boy is home from school today with a cold and I frankly I was playing around with this and didn't get Fredo up in time to take the bus by his self. I really think he would have gone too. I told him that he'll be riding the bus home by himself this afternoon and hopefully that will go well for him. All Fredo wants is to be "tall" and I wish it were that easy for him.

I don't remember thinking that if I were taller I'd be smarter but somehow Fredo believes that.

Holiday Shopping

We drove 40 miles to the outlet stores and Rainbird turned me loose, I guess he figures that I'm not really spending money if it's for a holiday. I got gifts for his parents, gifts and assorted friends and co-workers. His place of work is weird they buy each other pet gifts…because everyone has dogs. I swear dogs here are HUGE, everyone has one, and that let them know that he was okay because he had one. Thank goodness we didn't have a cat, because the last cat person was removed from the group so to speak and transferred to no man's land. I also got a couple things for Rainbird (and made him carry them store to store). He never once looked in the bag. LMAO!

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

After Last Week, What's Next?

Recovery

So, there I am standing in Powell Books staring looking for the Atkins book when I come across the sex section. The books on the Position of the Day and Kama Sutra looked interesting but I only stayed a moment afraid someone would think I’m a pervert or something. Then I found the book I wanted and lingered amongst the other diet books when something across the isle caught my eye. A huge book on home organization! Wow! What a find. Actually I was looking at the Anxiety workbook next to it but I couldn't let anyone know that I have panic attacks.

I ended up buying 6 books, telling myself I’m just stocking up on reading material for the winter and yes, the anxiety workbook was on the bottom of the pile. Three diet books, and one decorating book, and one organizing book all to cover up for the anxiety book. Maybe I should apply for a job there, I'll bet you can tell a lot about people by the books they buy.

Who's Your Daddy?

Wonder if that Maury Povich nimrod will offer to do a show for Anna Nicole Smith? I guess her personal photographer [Read Paid Stocker] is claiming he's the daddy, and the lawyer is claiming that he is too. I'll bet it was the bum [read old homeless guy] she did while rocking on trimspa [read cocaine].

Wanna cyber?

Those are words that I'm sure a certain republican is regretting he ever spoke. A/S/L is probably more. I hear he had the hots for interns, but at least Bill chased the legal ones in skirts, not the underage ones in trousers. Then he blamed it because he was abused and I'm sick to death of hearing people say…oh it's not my fault blah blah blah…In this case fill in the blahs with a Priest touched my wanker. First if it's just an excuse for showing lack of character (which I seriously suspect it is) it's an insult to anyone that has really suffered abuse and no excuse for anyone just to take up because they were caught. Second, if it is true he knew he had issues and was fully aware they were wrong and chose to ignore them until [again] he was caught.

I say string him up and let the bugs eat him.

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

I spent the day yesterday trying to update to a new browser and get a new email program working. Things will be back to normal next week. I'm thinking of working on something for Friday as long as my computer continues cooperating. Look for a new Name That Tune coming soon.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Please Excuse Me While I Break Down

The Road To Hell

At least that's what I've always heard; the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I had the best of intentions when I paid to have the new dishwasher installed. Rainbird's been so busy lately I didn't want to pressure him and also the enticing ideal of having the old one carted off instead of living in the garage for the next 60 years had something to do with it. However I've come to believe that I was wrong about that.

Of course having the water in the kitchen shut off might have something to do with it. I don't know if the guy that installed it did something to sabotage it, he mentioned a few times that he also installed faucets the first time right after he pointed out a leak. Funny but when I cleaned out the underneath of the sink; nothing at all was wet, including the bag of napkins. I was surprised but I also recalled Rainbird mentioning that the spray thing was leaking a little. After the guy left I noticed water under the sink and of course when Rainbird came home to inspect he noted it. He crawled and stretched under the sink, tightened things up and placed a pot under the sink. He said he'd look at it more when he came home for dinner. I asked if I could run the dishwasher and he said it should be fine so I did. I also neglected to check again for water. I was busy being pissed off at Fredo for crying at school and making me come and get him (more about that later).

I cooked dinner and since the TV wasn't on, I could hear water dripping, I opened the cabinet and saw water dripping from several locations all under the faucet. I tried Rainbird's cell but it was off, so I emailed him then I sent another email and a third, each detailing first the small amount of water, and having him call after reading the one that said there was a couple cups of water in the pot. He called and told me to shut off the water under the sink and explained how I should do that.

He came home while I was taking the kids to back-to-school night, signing up with the PTO and figuring out about parent teacher conferences. Fredo saw his kindergarten teacher and sort of said hi to her and he kinda apologized to his teacher for crying. She was so nice to him and said she'd talk to him about it tomorrow. Meanwhile I was in hell because all he kept saying was that he wasn't ever going to school again. I can't take this shit any longer, it's like a repeat of last year and I'm not going through it again.

He came home, looked under the sink for an hour, and then said he was shutting the water off again. I knew that was bad. He smirked. Oh how he smirked. I knew he didn't want to pay to have the dishwasher installed and I didn't trust him. He quietly announced that we have to replace the garbage disposal, and faucet, adding that we might as well change the sink since I hated it anyway. It would also look nicer having a new sink.

I'm so depressed. I've already spent money on a few holiday gifts and I'm suffering from a huge case of buyer's remorse. Had I known all this would happen, I would have never let that idiot install it, I would have bought a less expensive dishwasher and let Rainbird install it whenever he had the time.

I guess the crux is that I hate it when he's right. Lately he's been right a lot and it's just getting to me because I'm questioning everything.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

A New Day

Random Notes

It's been a long while since I thoroughly cleaned the stove and I'm embarrassed how much grime and grease was on it. Coupled with the fact the boys are home from school today (one of those teacher days) and Fredo is driving me crazy because he won't shut his fucking mouth. He can never just be quiet and always has to be making some sort of noise but this is starting to drive me crazy. I even gave up and took the kids outside for a while, lifting rocks and searching for bugs but we came across a snake and that ended the fun. Like I wrote yesterday, every freaking time I get a moment something happens, either the phone or the kids come into the room and it breaks my concentration.

Maybe I'm just being bitchy but is Fox news either fair or balanced like they claim to be, or do they just spin the other way? I'm beginning to believe that there is not a single news agency out there that really cares about telling the truth. They all seem to sell whatever version of the truth won't cost them to lose most of their viewers.

Breaking News:

The Mona Lisa was pregnant. Maybe that explains the grin on her face, she was annoyed he was taking so long.

The Long and Winding Road

I’m still chewing Nicorette gum, but it's funny I only get one or two serious cigarette cravings a day (after dinner and at night an hour or two before bedtime). Nicorette gum doesn't tell why should discontinue use after 12 weeks but I've come to find out two things: Most people chew it longer. No one talks to his or her doctor about it.

I guess there is some degree of addiction possible; me I'm just addicted to gum any gum now. I've gotten used to chewing it and now actually enjoy chewing gum something I have never done before.

Is It Fall Yet?

The temps for the past 6 days have been in the mid to upper 80's, and the only bonus is that cools off really fast at night. Where did the Autumn temps go, more importantly where is the rain? Maybe I shouldn't be complaining.

Is it Wrong to Bake Cookies?

Today is dishwasher installation day. I can't wait to use it (I know I'm a geek). I didn't even have to offer oral to anyone for a morning appointment.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Lost in a Sea of Stupid

I Could Use A Better System

I keep thinking of great things to blog about, like President Bush today having a hissyfit at some reporter, much the way former President Clinton did over the weekend; but by the time I get to the computer I've forgotten.

Both are acting pretty defensive. Bush was telling some reporter today to stop listening to gossip, or something like that; I don't know he must have been really pissed though because he was stuttering. Think someone needs a blowjob. Who is to blame? Who the fuck cares? That's in the past and we need to look to the future but don't try to tell our media that, they believe somehow that they help by uncovering the truths as they see them.

I've been spending the morning cleaning, I really thought once Fredo was in school all day I'd have more time but it just seems that I don't. I'm neglecting my friends, Jamie has been after me for days to have coffee with her, another friend Jane's been calling and don't get me started on Brother-in-law's perfect girlfriend who I don't want to get close to because she's just part of his post divorce fuck phase. I haven't chatted on line with anyone either each time I think of signing on, the phone rings. Hell I don't have to attempt to sign on all I have to do is think about it (like now) and the phone rings.

Brother's or Sister's Lite?

Remember in the late 80's early 90's there was a show called Sisters? It had 4 or 5 sisters all with boy names, like Toni or something. Anyway, I seem to recall that it was a chick show and the guy I was together with at the time couldn't stand it so I didn't watch it much. Now there's a show called Brothers and Sisters on ABC, and I saw it but I don't see it becoming a hit. Anyway while I watched it, upstairs alone, I had an epiphany chick shows really don't make it anymore on prime time, unless they have something to offer men. Desperate Housewives has really gorgeous women, so men don't seem to mind watching it much. But shows like CSI, Law and Order with other shows like that don't need drop dead gorgeous women to get men to watch but they do need at least one really good looking guy. Or Captain Kirk, because Murphy Brown just isn't going to bring guys to the tube to watch Boston Legal, but they will tune to in to see if James Spader makes a good looking female attorney crawl across the floor to him, like he did in the Secretary.

ER has become nothing but a nighttime soap that has nothing to do with ER and more to do with personal lives. Have you ever seen Jack McCoy's wife or ex wife on Law and Order? Is he even married? Maybe that's why Law and Order works. Thank goodness there's not 6 different ER shows, of course General Hospital could be considered part of that franchise.

In any event I'm kinda surprised that I seem to be watching more TV this season than I have in the past. I've watched some of Wife Swap two weeks in a row. I'm getting scared. When I start blogging about what Oprah or Ellen or Regis and whomever he's hosting with; someone please slap me.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Weekend Madness

Just Get the Bosch

Could be heard throughout the suburban Sears store as Rainbird grew weary of hearing me compare and contrast each dishwasher by style, ease of use, and how well my Fiestaware dishes fit. He didn't scream at me, but made his frustration known the only way he knows how, he whined about how long I was taking. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and followed his lead purchasing the dishwasher.

We've had a lot of extra expenses this year so I'm getting creative again with our finances so that next year I don't make the same mistakes again (I can hear a collective "yeah, right" from across the nation). At least this year we haven't been completely irresponsible with money (read Just a little irresponsible) but we've had more than our share of frivolous moments compounded by real needs. I'm sorry but a dishwasher in this house is a need, I shudder to think what our water bill would be without one.

Saturday Night's Alright

Weird to me but Saturday night we were invited to a client's house for a cocktail party and it was crawling with kids. Hasn't anyone in this state heard the words babysitter? To me there is nothing worse than seeing a 5 year old parked in front of a shrimp plate while mom (or dad) a few feet away chat and say nothing about the child consuming his weight in shrimp.

Now honestly, I don't eat shrimp (I'm allergic) but that little runt was keeping me from some yummy blue cheese with his standing at the middle of the buffet table in front of shrimp. I silently cheered when the hostess came over to refill the shrimp plate, and moved it so that the little twerp couldn't get his fingers on anymore. So, what did said twerp do? He whined to his mom, who moved the shrimp plate back. I'm sorry but was that plate his personal plate of shrimp, or was it for everyone to share? I don't think so. Not that any grown-up or child would want to touch it after this kid had put his grimy hands all over each piece of shrimp. I cheered quietly to myself when the hostess returned and took away the shrimp plate all together, and when the child complained to his mom, the mom told him to go find something else to eat. I think, and I really do mean this, the mom meant to say "horde" but she didn't.

We picked up the kids at Grandma and Grandpa's sufficiently stuffed with candy and cookies, wired to the hilt, and returned home. Fredo asked what we were doing tomorrow; I think he wanted to go back to Grandma's house for more of the good life. I explained that we had chores to do around the house and one of those chores was to clean up his bedroom.

After months of being afraid to clean up his bedroom out of fear that he'd freak out or act out in school I bit the bullet when I nearly fell down, and decided to clean it out. Especially with the holiday's around the corner, and more crap coming into the room. I have to say I'm proud of him. A whole huge garbage bag was stuffed for trash and another smaller bag is filled with stuff for charity.

It took all day but his room now is completely clean, nothing on the floor, arranged on the bottom bunk of the bed, nothing out on the floor. Everything has a place and everything is its place.

The Dream House Winner Got Me Thinking

Last night we were watching Extreme Makeover where they took a 900 sq ft house, leveled it, and rebuilt a 4000+ sq ft house in it's place, complete with a huge football field, but I started wondering…How do people that can't afford to move, or fix even basic things (like windows, doors, etc) in their house afford to pay the property taxes, heating costs, and day to day running of such a large house? Don't get me wrong, I think it's great for them but still just in electrical alone, I don't know how much that house would cost to run. I heard that the winner of HGTV's Dream House is putting the house up for sale because he can't afford the taxes on it…and it does make sense if you think about it. Wonder what happens to some of the recipients of an Extreme Makeover after the cameras are turned off, everyone goes home, and the show airs?

Meanwhile Huge Kudos For ABC

I can watch Desperate Housewives online for free. Whoo hoooooooooooooooooo!

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Holy Crap Its Already Friday?

Can you believe it, the weekend is practically here and I haven't a clue what we'll be doing, I don't even know what the options are for the weekend. I know I need to pull all the apple-pears off the tree, but aside from that, which isn't all that exciting there's been no better offers. I guess we could go downtown and visit the Saturday Market; oh and I wonder when the holiday gift fair will be?

The Purpose of Advertising

There is a reason now I won't buy one of those new Volkswagens; they have to be the most damned unlucky cars on the road. Every time I turn on the TV one of those are getting hit. Have you seen the latest commercial two women are in a car discussing the commercial and over the top they are when BAM they get nailed by a car.

Like I said…why would I buy a car that is obviously a magnet for other cars. I'll buy a Volvo before I get one of those.


Have a great weekend--See everyone on Monday.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

How Do Conspiracies Get Started?

How can someone wake up in the morning and decide that the Holocaust was a lie and how can the same people decide that 9-11 was simply a government plot? I wonder if people from my grandmother's generation wondered if Pearl Harbor was a government conspiracy too? I doubt it; this seems in my opinion to be more recent. Our government has admitted lying in the past it must mean that every major event is now a lie. The government had JFK murdered, the Holocaust didn't happen (the Jews shown in photographs said to be mass graves were only sleeping after having been on a hunger strike for a few weeks). I remember someone trying to convince me that Vietnam was all about oil but if that region of the world did have more oil than the Saudis, don't you think someone would have found it by now?

Do these things start out as rumors and the more they are repeated the more likely they're true? I'm not going to mention the website that pontificates that 9-11 didn't really happen and yes that's exactly what they did say on their website within a year of the event. No plane hit the pentagon, they "reported" and the twin towers were systematically leveled because the New York Port Authority didn't have the money to keep up the buildings or some other nonsense. They have an answer for everything but they twist it. The print media reported just the day after the event across the country about the families who received phone calls from the planes. Some did report they were told the plane was going to land…etc. Of course we know now that didn't happen but, by these people it's twisted into the idea that the planes indeed did land, people were taken off, and either given new names, etc, or killed at the behest of the government. Bombs brought down the twin towers because a reporter that day said it looked as though they came down like a demolition. Well, they did but not because of bombs but because of a chain reaction that caused it to collapse on itself.

They claim because some people were only mildly burned that the fire wasn't hot enough but we also know that is not entirely the case. I could go on, but my stomach is turning. Is there a way to take over a country without launching a coup or firing a shot? Is it through media that we are truly most vulnerable? I don't know but I do know the first time I heard of the conspiracy surrounding Pearl Harbor I was in High School, third period American History. The teacher presented it as fact and gave me a C in that class because I was blind as far as she was concerned. I had a hard time believing it but with the way it was presented by her, it was compelling. I remember spending hours in the library reading everything I could get my hand on and I wrote a report about why that theory was wrong. This was long before the internet which could have made things much easier but she didn't read it, I know that because I had stuck the pages together in the corner. She read likely the topic gave me a D saying that my information was flawed.

Flawed? I guess I got a D because my opinion of the facts differed from hers.

My God Can Kick Your God's Ass

Isn't that how it's gotten lately? President Bush talks about how we have righteousness on our side, and the other side claims that God willing we'll be destroyed. This is something that has bothered me for sometime now even before 9-11.

Years ago in San Francisco a little boy named Kevin Collins went missing, he was never found. Fast forward more than a decade to Elizabeth Smart, and her father saying that he knew God would return her because they trusted in him so much or something like that. What about all the other children that are abducted by strangers? What about Polly Klaas? Did she suffer and die because her parent's didn't believe in God hard enough? If they had maybe she would have lived? What about Kevin Collins? I guess being that he was lost in a godless city like San Francisco doomed him from the start. I think reading Dan's blog yesterday got me thinking, is Pat Robertson's God better than anyone else's?

Is It Just Me?

Do we really need a Terror Alert system? It's kinda like the Doomsday Clock, if you think about it. Midnight on the clock is bad, and red on our terror alert is bad…If we do go to code plaid don't you think everyone will know about it?

Speaking of the Doomsday Clock, it's currently set to 7 minutes to Midnight and has been there since 2002. I'm sure if Iran and North Korea continue their currant path, it will only be a matter of time before we're closer to midnight than we've been in a long time.

Did anyone see the show Jericho last night? Do we actually need to be reminded on a weekly basis that all life as we know can be over? Don't we get enough of that from the news? In any event I watched and found it to be Lost but instead of an island, it's in Colorado. They mention Denver and Atlanta getting blown off the face of the earth, but don't know if anyone else, save for themselves are still around. I'm willing to bet lots of people are alive and will remain so, at least until the end of the season.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Life Here

Well, summer is definitely giving up her fight with the crisp mornings and evenings, the leaves slowly starting to change from green to gold, and eventually red. Much to Piss-boy's dismay they're starting to fall from the trees and soon, no doubt, our back yard will be filling up like a bowl. Have I ever mentioned that fall is my favorite season? It is if for no other reason than the weather. I love packing away the summer clothing for the season and bringing out my old sweatshirts. I love snuggling on the sofa with the dog, flipping through a magazine, and hearing the rainfall. Add a clean house, a naked guy named Sven catering to my every need, and a glass of Syrah; I'd call that heaven.

Since I'm not dead, and my house isn't clean, Sven is no where to be found and I'm completely out of wine I'll have to settle for a slightly messy house, the TV blaring and a bottle of Blue Dot by Hair of the Dog Brewery. Life is still pretty good.

Isn't Marriage Great?

Rainbird came home from work last evening in a foul mood, immediately after consuming his meat and salad for dinner he bitched until he fell asleep in the chair. I was kind enough to remove the cocktail from his hand, and shut off the TV but I left him there, knowing full well he'd have a horrible headache in the morning. He woke to find the dog licking his face (given the fact the dog loves things that taste like shit it doesn't take too much imagination to know that Rainbird's breath attracted him). Soon Fredo was crawling over him (normally the kids don't really see him in the morning) and he was not happy. I laughed as he dragged his ass into the shower.

I'm still laughing.

Not at all Funny

Baby Abby was found alive, now I must admit I didn't give much hope for this so I'm glad for once I was completely wrong. I can't imagine what hell that mother was going through. Sometimes good does prevail.

Funny But Not

Now, if you worked for a US representative would you write letters to a convicted killer on "company" time to tell him how much you love him? Someone should tell that poor pathetic soul that Scott Peterson is a cold-hearted, self-absorbed individual and doesn't deserve the time of day from anyone let alone some love-struck loser on the taxpayer's payroll.

It's A Weather Balloon

The mystery image captured by the shuttle that is and while I'm at it, aren't those shuttles a little old now anyway? I never thought I'd say this but I think it's time that we skuttle the shuttle idea. Russia is still launching them in a rocket for Christ sakes, maybe it's time we went back to basics. In any event we've always believed the government anytime anything happens that it's either a weather balloon or Big Foot, why not use the excuse now?

What I find really, really odd is that the official NASA website makes everything sound so "normal" and mainstream media is pissing themselves. Three Thousand stories ranging from seeing debries, to a UFO hitting the shuttle.

Still I hope they make it back safely.

How Did You Celebrate?

Yesterday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day, now I will admit that the whole Wife Swap episode involving the stiff self absorbed cheerleader home organizing, Martha Stewart wannabe was bad enough, but did the other NUTS in that episode have to be from Oregon? I'll just have to add that to the list of shows I've seen once and that was enough. Maybe tomorrow I'll share it with everyone.

Anyway I preferred instead to have marked the day by reading the children's Story "How I Became a Pirate" and reading from Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster text (errr ah website). If you have some free time today try the game.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Ramblings on a Wet Tuesday

Okay, I'm Back and This Time I Mean It

Really I do. Lets see during my blogging absence a lot has happened so I won't dredge the recent past because really it wasn't worth me commenting when it happened. I don't watch Dog The Bounty Hunter and could give to two shits and a shake less for Anna Nicole Smith.

What I've been doing is far less exciting, just hanging out with the kids and playing games on the computer (when I get the time). I finally discovered something that actually does remove the dog smell from furniture, so I've been vacuuming a lot. It's that new(ish) Arm and Hammer stuff that you sprinkle. If you used to use it years ago and weren’t impressed (like me) I have to say I was impressed with this obviously improved product.

Why Must Manufactures Do This?

So the other day, I went to Target, well, Target was the second stop in a Sunday of shopping hell, and was looking for the Swiffer products, which I totally missed because they changed their location and box style!? Years ago there was movie with Michael Keaton called Mr. Mom, where he took over raising the kids when he lost his job and his wife went to work to support the family (this takes place in the early 80’s way before Daddy Day Care). Anywho, he was doing the grocery shopping and the kids are correcting his purchases by saying, Mom doesn’t buy that one, she buys this one and they would identify it color/size/shape. I am shocked now to discover that I also shop by color, I was used to the way the Swiffer wet jet boxes used to look like and the redesigned boxes now made them more difficult to find. In fact, the new design reminds me of a box of crackers more than a cleaning product.

What the Hell???

So, I'm walking around in my local Mervyn's and I overhear some store clerks talking about how Target Corp (who owns the Mervyn's chain) is pulling out of Oregon. I'm wondering now where will I buy all the kids clothing? It sounds like Kohl's is buying most of Mervyn's old locations; I really hope it’s worth it.

Dishwasher Dreaming

Ever since I started complaining the dishwasher wasn't working right to anyone that would listen, it's been working fine, and I'm wondering if it’s the calm before the storm. This week, possibly tomorrow, I'm going out to look at new ones and of course I'm bringing some dishes along. I know what I want, I want a stainless steel tub, I want a dishwasher that’s whisper quiet, and will fit all my dishes. Oh and I want it at an excellent price.

I'm glad that I have time to search for the right one, instead of having to run out and buy something just because they can deliver it in a day.

Family News

The kids are doing okay at adjusting to the whole back-to-school routine and I'm kind of surprised, though Fredo's teacher did call me to ask about him not eating his lunch. I swear that kid is waiting for them to change the lunch schedule to better fit with his eating habits. I told her that he eats plenty at home, and when he gets really hungry I'm sure he'll eat something. He probably skips the sandwich just so he can be first for recess. I keep sending him to school with sandwiches (each day they’re cut different so people don’t think I'm sending him with the same one each day…LOL). So far, his teacher seems nice enough; I'm just hoping that he's not too far behind.

Piss-boy isn't happy at all with amount of school work/homework he's been getting from his new teacher. If he doesn't finish something in class she makes them bring it home to finish it here (read at home)...how horrible of her! I'll bet she has a huge wart on her nose and keeps a broomstick in her closet. He'll get over it.

Rainbird's been working so hard lately we hardly see him, and when we do, he has to make snarky comments about the house or kids, so I am really pissed at him most of the time. Maybe I'm just being defensive?

Today's Agenda

I'm going to wash all the family socks and underwear, and maybe a few of the kids other clothing. I'll sweep and vacuum, then maybe hang up all those clothes that are currently on the floor of Fredo’s bedroom. I really need to get in there and start cleaning it up but I'm afraid he'll be pissed off.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Random Thoughts Of Whimsy

Not Only Am I Blonde but Apparently Stupid Also

Over the weekend I decided to shave my legs, which sorry, hasn't been for sometime and me always looking for a time saver decided to try that Veet stuff they advertise on TV. I put it on my legs and that all so important bikini area and ended up losing 90% of my bush. It itches like a muther fucker.

Further evidence (as if any more was needed) of my Blonde history can be found here.

Blast From the Past

I was just spending a little time reminiscing about the way San Francisco was when I was a kid. Wonder if anyone else remembers going down Mission Street on a jitney?

TV Has Fucked Us Up, Now TV Can Fix Us

Dr. Phil has certainly started something; a new pop pseudo-shrink has entered the scene. There’s also a couple new shows on HGTV they are calling Design Therapy. Pediatricians caution that the wrong TV shows can rot children's brains so I have to wonder what it does to the adult brain, guess it rots our brains too, just maybe slower.

Finally

News media reported yesterday that Steve Irwin the famed Crocodile Hunter has died. I feel rather mixed about his passing considering how passionate he was about animals and environmental issues, but the truth is he died, so to speak, with his boots on, doing what he loved. I guess that's way to go.

Did you know that his wife Terri is from Oregon and the pair were married in Eugene? This Ranter’s thoughts rest with the family at this difficult time. No pithy comment from me on this.


© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Blogger's Block

I just haven't had anything good to say. I was right about the JonBenet thing, no shit—the fuckwits in Boulder should hire me I would have saved their taxpayers a fortune. Bet they'll try to get California to foot the bill now. I say send him back, let him go to prison in Thailand, after all, it’s only a matter of time before he'd be caught trying to get a little girl to jerk him. I don’t know what else has been going on in the world because anytime I turn on the news I get depressed. The kids have been fighting and Rainbird is really pissing me off lately, I don't cook well enough, I don't clean well enough, his whites aren’t white enough...You get the idea.

Kids go back to school next week and I'm making myself a wreck worrying about poor Fredo and how he'll do this year. I know I should have sent him to summer school, but we were quite busy...well until this month. It was at a different school and I was worried about him taking the bus alone, also it was a long day for him. Next year he'll be older and if he has to go...so be it. Or I'll just send him to The Sylvan Learning Center myself.

I sent Piss-boy to summer school once and he learned NOTHING.

I have been a little surprised to see all the Mel jokes flying around Hollywood lately. Pretty strange, since I'd think they’d be all forgiving and shit with him.


© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Time Is Not On My Side

I've been super busy these last few weeks of summer so finally I have time to comment thoroughly on some of the things going on in the world during my absence from blogging.

Sure He's a Sicko…But…(Or Detective Work By The Three Stooges aka, Boulder Police)

John Mark Karr is a sicko but I really don't think he killed JonBenet. I'm sorry but that's my gut reaction to the whole thing. I think he's a whacko and the fact that the Boulder PD didn’t talk to his family, after he'd been taken into custody there in that child porn mecca, is ridiculous. Since he was wanted anyway in CA for kiddy porn, it’s a good thing he’s being brought back to this country but I doubt he’s the one that killed that little girl 10 years ago.

Why do I feel this way? He’s walking and chatting with the press offering all kinds of details about this and that but offers nothing that he couldn't have already known. He won’t give the important details, yet he'll say that he's not innocent. I think he is infatuated with the case and wishes he were the one. Coupled with the fact his ex wife, who he married when she was just 16, says she's got proof he couldn't have been in Colorado at the time. It's not like Alabama and Colorado are just a short drive away in the middle of winter.

Before anyone jumps on me…his ex-wife has NO reason to protect him since she's the one that got him busted for kiddy porn in the first place.

I See Jail Time

Haley Joel Osment was arrested quietly and booked for DUI and procession of marijuana last month and is scheduled to turn himself in. His agent and gaggle of attorneys are working with law enforcement to get most of the charges dropped. So, like anyone that qualifies as a "Hollywood" star, he won’t serve a day in the big house despite the fact his blood alcohol level was 0.15 and the legal limit for someone OVER the age of 21 in California is 0.08. We'll have to wait and see if he'll also be charged with California law of driving while underage with a blood alcohol level higher than .05, which is a felony for minors. Then we'll have to wait and see if his driver's license will be revoked until he’s an adult, along with a 5K fine, and jail time…not to mention compulsory AA meetings. Will justice be done? I only have one other question, why was he driving 1995 Saturn?

Mad Mel

Mel Gibson, who I have come to believe really is a racist and anti-Semitic, has agreed to attend AA meetings. Well, actually anyone really familiar with California law knows that AA, or some type of alcohol rehab are REQUIRED of anyone arrested for DUI, and even those ultimately charged with reckless driving. So big fucking deal for doing what he should anwyay.

Nice try Mel reps.

Will The Peace Last?

Between Hezbollah and Israel? No. Though some jackass news agencies actually ask, who won?

I'll be Back on Monday. Enjoy the weekend!

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Where Have I Been?

I know I know…it's summer and I've been busy getting a tooth pulled, recovering and discovering why I feel so fucking poor all the time. We’re spending way too much fucking money on food; in fact we spend more on food each month than ALL our other expenses combined. That's just wrong and I'm going to start really watching how much I spend, use coupons and shop sales. I'd like to say this is blip, but it's not it's been going on since we moved here.

In Other News Around The Globe

The fucking Al Qaeda terrorists are fucking with us again and this time, it's personal, since they are telling me my makeup and toiletries are a threat to national security. I mean really now, what's next? Instead of looking at products, isn't it time that put aside this political correctness that has us gripped by our collective throats and start profiling PEOPLE?

Seriously what will happen when these suicidal fuckwits figure out a way to make a bomb out of suntan lotion and slather it all over their bodies? Then detonate it by uttering a word or phrase? I guess then our government will ban passengers from passenger airlines. Better still, why not just ban luggage of all kinds from planes?

And what gives with our media? Why must they ask the most retarded questions of people? For example, I was watching a cable news organization and this reporter was interviewing a James Bond type of guy from the UK. He was explaining how they found these bastards and our media guy asked him if he was surprised to learn of tentative connections to Al Qaeda. James Bond literally blinked for a second and then replied, "No, we weren’t at all surprised." OMFUCKINGOD. Then another channel, was asking if anyone was surprised that they would try a dry run? Another Duh from me. Think about it…remember grammar school and fire drills? You’d do them often right? And why do you think that was? Uh huh.

Then later the big discussion of the "What If" scenarios all involving Norad (who also tracks Santa) shooting down a commercial airliner and asking if they could do it. **Ranter Sighs** Here’s a scarier "what if" for ya, what if the objective isn't to fly a plane into a building, after all it's been done, but to instead just blow the fucker up and destroy the already fragile airline industry, and make people afraid to fly? Think about that for a second, they wanted to do this on 10 airplanes all going to the US and mostly US carriers. All the media can focus on is what were the targets…What if the plane was the ONLY target?

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Didn't I Already Kill That Fly?

So, I'm in the family room and see a huge fly buzzing loudly by the window, I kill it. Then I go into the kitchen (like 25 feet from the first fly) and there is a huge fly buzzing, and it looks just about the same as last one. So, without any remorse or deep thought, I kill it.

I fill my cup and return to family room and to the computer. There's a huge fly buzzing around the window. Somewhere is there a line of flies waiting to enter my house with some head fly saying, "No...Not yet...okay......GO!"

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Andrea Yates Is Insane and the Jury Agrees...Finally

Andrea Yates Is Not Guilty by reason of insanity. Well no shit!

Is it wrong to be so angry with a few people I've heard today saying the Verdict in the Andrea Yates case was wrong? My West Virginia friend Tracey covered a lot of this in her blog, and I'm going to comment on the rest of the story. I still haven't a clue why the hell the prosecution didn't bring any charges against her then husband Rusty Yates for his obvious involvement in his children's death. It also demonstrates how incredibly closed minded the Texas Prosecutor's office is, I mean lets face, they have tunnel vision. They chose to focus on only half the story and that was their decision; yet the prosecutor is disappointed at the verdict.

Her husband, who didn't even have the courage to stay married to her (so much for that Better Or Worse part in the vows) and has since remarried, encouraged his INSANE wife to stop taking her meds and continue having babies. What the Fuck? Was nothing going to interfere with his god-given right to procreate? Rainbird even admitted, had things in our lives been different, and I was like that, insane, he would have gotten himself snipped long before child number 5 came along. He's the one that in my opinion deserved some jail time in this matter not Andrea.

Further when you add to the fact that she's been taken off her meds (Haldol) a number of times since then and had psychotic episodes following each removal, should be a strong indication that she needs the meds. It should also serve a strong indication that she shouldn’t be left alone to care for herself.

The verdict was innocent by reason of insanity, which means yes she did the deed, but even though she called police and told them, she truly believed at the time she was saving their lives. It sounds twisted, but to her it made perfect sense and that’s why I was angry when she was found guilty at the first trial. I’m so glad the prosecution was a bunch of idiots when they allowed the testimony of Dr. Park Dietz, who presented false testimony when he said Yates might have been influenced by an episode of the "Law & Order" television program. There was no such episode, unfortunately the judge wouldn’t allow the defense to go back and challenge it, which is was caused the “Reversible Error.” And that’s why the case was retried.
I only wish it had been done right at the beginning with the prosecution cutting a deal that would have allowed Ms Yates to remain psychiatric care, instead of going to trial and jail.

Sounds a little like Texas might be coming into the new Millennium after all.

Now for those that compared to what Andrea Yates did to Susan Smith, lets have a refresher course…

• Susan Smith told the police initially that her car was carjacked by a black man while she was driving with the boys in the back seat. She drove around she said agonizing and even tried to take her own life but chickened out, sending her children instead into the water.
  

• She appeared numerous times on TV pleading for their safe return all the while knowing and comprehending they were at the bottom of the lake.

• She later confessed fully and admitted that she lied to the lead investigator who had “befriended” her.

• During her trial it was discovered that she murdered Michael and Alex because she was in love with a man that didn't want children in his life (of course we all know that was an excuse he didn’t want her).

I hope now most can see the differences more clearly now.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Thanks Anita

Testing again. Thanks Anita for doing the siggy. It's a perfect fit for me

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

He Said It Better...

Than I ever could. Dan wrote the following on his blog and I quote (er ah copied)...

And in a completely unrelated story, it seems that those fuckwit terrorists over at Hezbollah are paying big $ to Lebanese people to let them store missiles in their domiciles. Yep. When Israel attacks, the peacenik idiots cry out over civillian casualties and America loses. And the protests go on, and Iran wins, and Syria wins, and America gets pushed into a corner where fuckwit John Kerry (why did I every think you were a better alternative than the talking chimp when at least he walks the talk he makes in everything save North Korea) can say that if he was in charge that this wouldn't have happened. Yeah - we'd already be choking on nerve gas or dealing with nukes in the country. Thanks to all those who made up for my idiocy (I can admit it when it happens - however rarely that is). At least with Bush, cowboy diplomacy is an option instead of bore them to death with incessant talk. So Bush, if you're reading... please, listen to all the people who want you to help end Hezbollah. Shotgun the first 4 seasons of 24 (on DVD for your convenience) and do what has to be done. What would President Palmer do?

Won't bother with the Copyright stuff because I only wrote like 2 lines. But more to come after I get over my depression and screaming to the gods about why is it whenever I take a vehicle in, it ends up costing me a thousand dollars??????????

Oh what the hell...

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter

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Can I say, God-Damn Well I declare…

Some time has passed since my last official post, so let's play catch-up in Ranterland, the kids have been out of school over a month now and are officially getting on my nerves in ways no one could imagine. I know part of it is because I’ve quit smoking…but that’s only part of story. We did manage to go a quick vacation, not as long as we had planned it, but what can you do? My vehicle is acting up and I need to bring it in, I’m hoping its not going to be too expensive but I fear with everything today it will be.

That's the way the money goes it seems, you spend money on something and you get slammed later with a bill for something else, it’s frustrating and depressing at the same time.

I Read The News Today Oh Boy

Ever feel like the whole world is coming apart at the seams? That's the way I've been feeling for sometime now, and while I'd love to have something pithy to say about how to fix the most recent situation involving Israel—I’ve got nothing.

How do you like that? The Whimsical Ranter has drawn a complete blank.

I do have a few chosen words for the asshole shooting at trucks in Indiana, I hope they find you, shove shotgun into your ass and fire it. I guess I agree with Dubya, we have to get tougher on terrorists. Homegrown or Al Qaeda they need to be dealt with in a serious way. Not as a deterrent, because we all there is no way to deter idiots from being as such, but simply because we’re mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.

More coming soon and I actually mean soon.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

What A Gay Thing To Do *OR* Can Anyone Please Stop the Insanity

As if it wasn’t bad enough as shedding tears on camera at American Idol over Katherine McPhee’s loss, but David Hasslehoff has either attempted suicide over his apparent failing US career (he is a host of that new America’s Got Talent, gong show like thing). Anyway, his "rep" (read: toady) claims that he’s had surgery to repair the tendons in his arm due to an accident shaving.

That’s right...shaving…his arms? Are they sure he wasn't slashing wrist? Maybe he was having another face-lift? Or perhaps, he completed his surgery to have a pussy added so he can fuck himself?

You know instead of Paris Hilton sex videos, why oh why can't we have a video of this?

You can read the story for yourself here…

The offical story is that he hit his head on a chandelier which showered his arm with glass shards and one went deep enough to sever a tendon in his arm. His fan base must be either children, or 90 year olds to believe this.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
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Idiot of the Week: Star Jones (whatever the hell her new last name is)

Jonesing For A Smoke

It’s summertime and weather is warm, and how badly I want to sit on the back deck, slathered in mosquito repellant and smoke. My craving goes over the top at night, probably because I’m bored, but also because it’s been something I’ve done for years now. That said it’s been 14 days since I stopped smoking and I’ve saved 60 dollars. That’s a lot of lettuce.

Speaking of Lettuce

Rainbird decided to start the Atkins diet again and may not survive the induction period because he’s a carb freak! Plain and simple, yeah I get tired of eating, meat, cheese, and salads too. But he gets truly bitchy if he can’t have a cracker. The reason I say he might not survive induction is because if he continues being all bitchy, I'll kill him.

Idiot of the Week

Don’tcha just love the things just go from one subject into another? Yesterday a close friend emailed me and asked when I was going to do a blog on the Star Jones crap. I’ll admit I haven’t really been paying attention what with the kids being home from school and all, and me, stuck in cartoon hell; so I started doing a little reading online.

In truth I stopped watching the View years ago when they did a segment on erectile dysfunction complete with an expert and the poor bastard wasn’t allowed to say much of anything because those cackling bitches were too busy making jokes. A few days later they discussed the seriousness of breast cancer and they were all demure. That’s just bullshit.

So, I get the email from my friend began reading, and found myself seriously amused.

Star Jones (whatever the fuck her last name is) is a train wreck; not quite like Anna Nicole or Courtney Love, but damn the cattiness doesn't change. Babs Wa-wa says that Star Jones, whatever the fuck her last name is, wasn’t fired exactly, she just wasn’t asked to come back and knew about this for months. Star, whatever her name is, bitched actually on the fucking show that she felt fired? Sounds to me like she knew for a while she had lost a job and when the offers didn’t come pouring in, cried sour grapes.

Here’s the real shocker, after she made her announcement on Tuesday, they really fired her and this I guess surprises her? She claims she was told she could lie about where she was going. But she felt her “fans” deserved to know the truth. OMfuckingod. Remember people this didn’t happen last week, she was told in April or March of this year she wouldn’t be returning and she chose now to bitch about it. Why? Because Star Jones, whatever the fuck her last name, is a certifiable idiot with a completely overdeveloped sense of who she is and how important she is. Of course now we get to listen to months and months of her whining on every single TALK TV show. Wonder when she'l lbe on Oprah?

Maybe now, I’ll actually watch that show since I won’t have to listen to her flapping her gums about her “husband” (you know a lot of women have husband’s too), or hear talk about her fucking wedding, or anniversary or anything else having to do with her personal life.

Ever since she spent what a year planning her fucking wedding and another year talking about it after, really who the fuck is she anyway, I thought she should be fired then. I never understood why she was on the show to begin with…all she did was talk about legal aspects anyway and not very well. Throwing around her law degree, she lost me when she considered Johnny Cochran her “mentor”.

Now, she says that she’s not going to say anything bad about Barbara Wa-wa…Hasn’t she already said enough?

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Am I a psychopath?

Fucking Normal You scored 2 out of forty on the psychopathy scale

Oh Gods!! You're actually normal. In studies control populations of, “normal” people, show an average score of around 5, so be happy. You may be dull, but you aren't insane. Try to get and do something, have an orgy, kill a kitten, just enjoy yourself.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on Maddness

Link: The Are You an Psychopath Test written by Elias_Killjoy on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

A Little Irony Never Hurt Anyone

I apologize in advance that for around the next month of so, my posts will be infrequent...

This blog is more about my personal observations than about my life and I believe the following follows that spirit. There will be no news about Bradalina or any of the other crap.

Life sometimes smacks you irony and this was one of those times. On Thursday morning last week, on the first day of the boys summer vacation, instead of smoking a cigarette I popped in a piece of Nicorette gum.

That afternoon my grandmother phoned to tell me that my grandfather passed away of emphysema. Not a surprise Grandpa was a smoker until around 25 years before his death.

Thursday morning when I popped that piece of gum into my mouth the thought did cross my mind that since I still had cigarettes left, if it was too hard, I could just put off quitting until another day. After all there is always another day. Then the phone rang at 3:42 PM PDT and I was told about my grandfather and suddenly everything changed. I knew then I couldn't go back to smoking.

I think he planned it this way.



© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
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Well It’s Nearly Time

Tomorrow is the last day of school and again, while I'm facing the summer with mixed feelings, I'm certainly having a chuckle at Piss-boy's expense. He's been a little bitchy in anticipation of the end of the school year. You know, he's so excited that all that asshole inside him comes bubbling quickly to the surface. Today he thanked me for putting his shoes in the dryer, then quickly corrected himself saying, “oh, you that's right you didn't.” As it was spoken like a true smartass, I let the comment slide, so he kept going and minutes later I was again ruining his life. After all that complaining he did wear those shoes to school anyway because they were dry.

Yeah, Summer Will Be Fun

I'm in the process of signing the kids up for different things; I'm taking Piss-boy to the ceramic place so he can paint plates (his idea) and probably signing him up for swimming lessons. Fredo is going to hate the summer, as he's being stuck doing all things educational but thankfully most of those things are also free.

Go Figure

I stopped watching the news on Saturday after hearing on one of the big networks (CNN) reporting from an “eye witness” account that al-Zarqawi was beaten and died of those injuries. That really sat wrong with me because I think everyone with half a brain knows that his demise won’t end terrorism (there are probably a dozen to take his place) but nonetheless it was an important capture. Of course there is CNN and MSNBC showing on TV the day after some Iraqi (more than likely a sympathizer) saying that he was alive and US soldiers covered him with a tarp and beat him to death.

I love the way they take the few good things that comes out of this war and ignores them completely (like the elections) or twists them into something else evil we've done. Especially under the guise of reporting the news and our need to know, of course they should report the news and yes we need to know. But before putting it out there, take the time to check the facts first. I've heard no apologies from the media concerning this, and that's outrageous. Don’t get me started on the over-seas media either, who are just as bad as our own here and it leads me to xenophobic thoughts of saying the next time they come crying about some injustice to go fuck off and fix it themselves.

Who's the Murderer?

Now you have the press climbing all over Michael Berg, who is also running for congress under the Green Party, asking him again and again to call the Prez a murderer to help with their sound-bites. I'm sure he also views it as a way to keep his name in the press, since he is running a campaign. For those that aren’t sure or don’t know he was the father of Nick Berg, an American businessman beheaded reportedly by al-Zarqawi personally.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Man Of My Dreams

Now this is going to sound strange but yesterday, I had a really dirty dream starring of all people Rainbird. Even while the dream was going on, I was questioning why I was dreaming about him. After all since I was dreaming, certainly I could have come up with someone better, or dare I say, dreamier. So, that was my jolt of reality.

As good As It Gets?

My Friend Tracey posted on her blog about al-Zarqwai being dead; you can read more about her thoughts on that here. Life in West Virginia: FINALLY, SOME SUCCESS

I will add that I am a little disgruntled over our local paper; front page yesterday was about how the senate shot down the marriage amendment, anyhow, more on my feelings about that later. The news of al-Zarqwai was buried way back on page 11-A, which I call that the airplane section because no one else, unless you’re on an airplane reads it. Believe me, if Bush had shot someone, or if it were shown later that al-Zarqwai had escaped that certainly would have made the front page. The papers don’t want average people to understand that it’s war, people die, but we’re also making some progress. Regardless of the misdirection that got us there, we must stand behind the president on this issue. Besides there are much legitimate things to get upset about that President Bush has done.

Congress is wonderful at wasting the taxpayer’s money with nonsensical debates on things that have no hope of passage. I’m getting really fed up with them. I would rather see substantive debates on matters that would make a difference in all lives. Not on the ones that have not a snowball chance in hell of passage.

Sometimes…

I really feel I’m the worst mother in the world, last night all of a sudden I looked at the clock, which read 8:40, and realized Fredo was still up and running around like it was early afternoon. Quickly I got him to pick up the toys he’d dragged downstairs and got him into bed, only then did I realize (after I kissed him, turned off the light, and closed the door) that he went to bed wearing his clothes and didn’t brush his teeth. I know what I should have done but instead I turned around and headed back downstairs. What kind of mom lets her kid sleep in his clothes? At least he won’t have rush around trying to find them in the morning…Yes; he’ll wear the same pants this morning when he comes down. *update* He actually came downstairs wearing all new clothes that he pulled out of the dryer, I [still] really suck at this parenting thing sometimes.


©2006 Whimiscal Ranter
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My World Is Getting Smaller

A friend recently asked me if I had a My Space site, in addition to this one. Well, I did but didn't use it for posting just because some other people I know have them and I can't comment unless I had an account. I've decided to post my blog there also, because friends will be notified automatically whenever my blog is updated. Not a problem, posting in both locations.

Well, I was talking on the phone with my friend Dorothy (not his real name) and he got all excited when I told him about the myspace thing. He started one and you can look at his profile, which is a hoot here.

You can look at my MySpace blog here but all the older posts will just remain here.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved