What A Morning

What a horrible morning. Piss-boy came into the bedroom at 6:40 wondering why I wasn't already up..UGH. I raced down the hall, freaking out, and ran into Fredo's room. Did I mention the bus comes for the kids at 7:04? I tell Fredo to get out of bed now but of course he doesn't move and starts complaining. OMG, I don't have time for this...So I bribed him with a poptart and thankfully, he hasn't had one all week otherwise he'd never know I only had the ones that he doesn't like.

I rushed to help Fredo (normally he does it himself but we didn't have time), then I rushed to get him to eat something, drink some juice (it's like coffee to him) and go to the bathroom, finally brushing his teeth. He didn't argue too badly, so we put on his jacket and I look down and he's got no shoes on his feet. Did I mention it's pitch dark outside and raining buckets? I pop the garage door open and tell Piss-boy to stay with his brother and watch for the bus while I start running around the house to find his shoes. Piss-boy begins to follow me, so I scream the instructions again, adding a few expletives. I find the shoes in his bedroom, by now the bus should be coming in around a minute, so I bolt down the stairs, and get them on Fredo.

We wait in the garage for the bus. Finally, it comes and they go to school.

Did I mention the bus was 15 minutes late?

Parent/Teacher Conferences

Today, we had the parent/teacher conference for the kids. Piss-boy is doing well, has 100% of work turned in, one of the highest in the class, but has issues with spelling, and needs to become more competent using the dictionary. Over-all, I'm pleased and he seems to be doing great. Rainbird also attended and asked, after I had to depart to Fredo's conference, about the one thing every teacher has always said about Piss-boy that he can be too chatty. The teacher appeared shocked, and said that he never spoke when he wasn't supposed to. Rainbird was proud. I'm thrilled. Life is good.

Well, until Fredo's conference. As expected testing is in his future, but I'm not sure at all how effective it will be since it requires him to participate. The teacher lightly mentioned to me Autism, but seemed also shocked that Fredo, does make eye contact with us at home and speaks understandably better now. We've seen many positive changes in him, but we need and can do more.

Rainbird pointed out that he believes part of Fredo's problem might be his schedule, and that he lacks adaptability so, I guess it falls on me to vary his day more when he's home. Absolutely no TV until After Piss-boy does all his homework is the start, and that will ensure time for the teacher to reach us if there was a problem during the school day. When he gets home from school, right after lunch, we'll spend some time reading, then doing a different activity. If the weather is good, I might look for a park that he can play at, or take him to the mall, or library, even Target and the grocery store can be called an outing. Not all the outings will be fun, because we don't want to start in that claptrap, and other activities might include things that he enjoys, like playing with playdoh.

If the weather is bad (shame winter is coming), he can play a game, or watch a movie--but it must be first be something that he hasn't seen and age appropriate. Not easy coming from the kid that only watches 4 or 5 movies total and never watches anything else. It seems that a lot of changes are in poor Fredo's future, but I think in the long run, he'll be happier.

A Blonde Moment

I can't believe I forgot to post this yesterday. I'm a huge caramel fan, I will go anywhere for a good caramel apple and the other day Rainbird brought one home for me as a surprise. It was the best I'd had in a long time, I think they used Tokyo Rose apples, which are an excellent baking apple.

In any event, yesterday I was craving caramels and came across a small bag of chewy Werther's Originals and I couldn't resist, I ripped open the bag and ate a few while I answered some emails on the computer and chatted with a friend. Then, I heard the laundry was finished, so I placed another handful into my pocket, and went upstairs to fold clothes and watch a little TV.


So, I'm on the bed folding, watching TV and eating caramels--Life is good to me I know. Unknown to me, well, not completely unknown but certainly not remembered, was an OB tampon. I unwrapped the tampon absentmindedly and can confirm that they taste nothing like the chewy caramels I love.

Like I told my friend Anita, later during chat, I was lucky that I wasn't in the bathroom, I might have mistaken a caramel for the tampon, and stuck that up my hoo-hoo.

Adventures In Flu Shots

Today, I took the boys to get their flu shots. Rainbird was kind enough to drive us and pick us up because the hospital parking lot is a horrible place and he has an assigned spot. Of course, right before we're supposed to leave, Piss-boy tells Fredo that he's going to the doctor for a check-up and will get a shot. Fredo starts crying so I told Fredo that he has to come with us because we can't leave him alone in the house. Fredo gets into the car and then begins the traditional fiasco of Piss-boy trying to buckle the car seat, complete with grunting, pissing and moaning.

We get to hospital and coax Fredo out of the car, I had already decided that if he pitched a fit, he'd not have to have the shot but he really didn't. Of course, he wouldn't dare pitch a fit in public (well, except when he's at school). I put Fredo on my lap, while Piss-boy got his shot at another station, and it only took a few seconds. The lady giving the shot asked if Fredo wanted a band-aid, and he said no, of course later as we were walking out the building, he changed his mind and decided that he did want the bandaid after all. This led to tears because, A) I have bandaids at home and B) I wasn't going back inside to ask for a bandaid. I lied, seems to be a trend this morning, telling him that if he wanted one of their bandaids he'd have to get another shot.

It didn't help quiet him, and he screamed all the way home. Of course, naturally, my bandaids are larger than the ones they had there, since I only have the large kind because no one in this freaking house ever gets a cut small enough to use those...And normally, Fredo rips it off three seconds after it's on.

So, we finally get home, I give Fredo a sucker, and he's still whimpering that he wants a bandaid. I put one on him, he keeps it on for three seconds and then starts to rip it off. Then, I asked him if his Homer and Bart dolls need a bandaid, he decides that they do, so I put bandaids on their arms. Then he comes back and says he needs another one. I give him the bandaid still in the wrapper and tell him that I'm giving him another one.

He just asked again as I'm writing this and I told him to ask Santa for special hospital Bandaids, because if anyone can get those it's Santa.

They Did It Again

Well they showed up again for dinner. Ate all the food and left. I told Rainbird he needs to speak with his brother.

If One More Thing Happens...

I'll scream.

Last night, brother and sister-in-laws knocked on our door, they were over to look at the house they're going to rent, and stayed for dinner. I swear I'm beginning to understand why Rainbird lived three thousand miles from his family. It was much quieter. I guess, I just feel used by everyone and I'm tired of it. K called up saying how fun it was to go shopping with mother in law and I yesterday, I tried not to say too much because I'm tired of her mooching off them. All she can talk about is the baby, J, and the baby she's going to have. She hardly ever mentions her older children, I get the feeling she doesn't speak with them often.

Rainbird did talk to his niece today and she's getting married, but I don't think she's told her parents yet. He spoke to his nephew last month, and their baby is growing (they emailed pictures), but he found it odd that the nephew didn't mention the parents either. What a fucked up family.

Another week

Well, another week has come and gone. Fredo was good in school most of the week until today. Rainbird mentioned that he was awake at 4 AM this morning, but that's really no excuse. He got up, dressed and ready for school without argument, then did his jobs. When it was time for everyone to go out for recess he had a memory lapse and forgot which coat he'd worn to school and couldn't find it. He started to cry, then scream, and was impossible to calm.

The teacher thought maybe he left the jacket on the bus, I told her no, he doesn't take his jacket off. I told her that he was wearing his green Landsend coat today because it was so chilly outside this morning. She then said nothing for a second or two, then said that she showed him that coat but he wouldn't really look at it. I told her that his name is on the inside of the coat, it has his last name on the left or right side on the lower part of the coat (I always label my children's coats and jackets). She said the coat was there, so I asked for her to give it to his brother to bring home with him, she assured me that she would.

His reward for today was a happy meal, but I told him that we'll try it again next week and see if he makes it.

Its Always Someone

Today, the school called and I was surprised to hear Piss-boy's voice instead of Fredo's teacher. Piss-boy got into trouble for saying fuck at school today. Can I hear a collective sigh followed by a collective UGH. I guess it's time to bring the swear jar back?

Fredo took a lot of pleasure in hearing of his brother getting into trouble at school, big old shit eating grin on his face. Must admit, he wears it well.

I'll be dealing with Piss-boy when he gets home from school.

What Did I Learn Today?

1. People that don't understand computers, shouldn't own one.

2. Snakes aren't that scary, especially when flying through air.

3. The naked guy isn't as interesting clothed.

4. Piss-boy will throw himself down a flight of stairs so that he doesn't have to rake.

5. Fredo is more useful than he appears to be.

6. Mowing the lawn isn't nearly as fun when you don't have someone explaining how to do it.

7. Snakes are really difficult to kill.

8. Squirrels can laugh.

9. Small yapping dogs missed the memo about their size.

10. Inlaws, like children, should be seen and not heard from ever.

How To Handle a Neighborhood Nudist

Call everyone you know on the phone, invite them all over, go out into your back yard, and have everyone point and laugh. Camera phones work well too.

Life As a Dog.

I've come to the conclusion that dogs are disgusting creatures, it's not just me, Animal Planet has this show called Most Extreme and dogs were listed as number 9 or something for the smelliest animals. Rainbird is away, so the dog has assumed the job of "man of the house," and is making me crazy in the process. The dog wakes up when I get out of bed, and follows me down the stairs, and his tail starts thumping. I feed him, let him outside and listen while he chases small woodland creatures that have the misfortune of wandering into our backyard and curse the darkness outside because I can't see where he is; the only sound is rattle of his collar. I yell, he ignores me.

When I eat anything, he sits beside where I am, thumping his tail with brown hopeful eyes watching me in the most unnerving way. I take a small piece of food off my plate and the dog watches with his tail thumping harder causing me to feel the vibrations under my feet. I lift the small morsel and hold it to him, and he gobbles it up in a microsecond. I resume eating, as he watches more excited and tail thudding now against anything in it's way. I tell him that I won't share with him unless he tastes what I feed him; his ears perk, and his eyes follow as I take another small piece of food off my plate. He takes the food slower, as if he understood, seemingly chews and swallows. I thank him and he goes and lays down, either he thinks I won't be giving him anymore, or I'm making him work too hard for it.

Looking at him, I wonder if reincarnation is real and if it is, what he was in a past life. I'm willing to bet a lawyer.

I Know What's Wrong

That said, fixing the problem with Fredo won't be an easy fix. Its come to my attention that Fredo has ODD, and that explains a whole lot going on in his life.

Knowing that he has a problem should be a relief, but I can't help but to feel a bit guilty. Had I known about this earlier, I could have watched better the signs and did something when has younger. The child psychiatrist gave us some tips on dealing with him, most of which we were already doing but also told us that the punishments must be a little more extreme so that he doesn't want to repeat the behavior.

He needs a lot of constancy. Don't we all?

http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/72.htm

It's been so exhausting dealing with his school and home issues. I'm just tired of everything.

I'll update later.

He had a good day, but the teacher forgot to send a note home with him, so I had to call the school. The secretary that answered the phone was nice enough to ask and told me he was good. Yay. I know the teacher has a lot of kids, etc., but damn I wish she could remember to do this each day. I really don't want to bother her every day to know if Fredo was good or not.

An Embarrassing Moment in Time

This is the one thing I have never told anyone except for one person and he passed away years ago. Now for the situation, some years ago after suffering for years the effects of painful migraines my gynecologist felt the likely culprit was birth control pills. I began "shopping" for a new birth control method that would allow me some measure of freedom and didn't require me to hand the guy something. So, I'm in the gynecologist's office and just had the dreaded Pap smear and we're discussing the various methods of birth control. The gynecologist felt I was too young to have my tubes tied and felt since I was prone to heavy periods an IUD wasn't the answer either. She felt a diaphragm was the best solution for me and I agreed, so she took out her kit to fit me for one. After finding what she felt was the right size and making me walk around repeatedly in that flimsy gown to make sure, she decided to have me try to insert it. She carefully instructed me to fold the diaphragm like a "taco" and slide it in then loaded it up with KY Jelly to make insertion easier and because it has about the same consistency of that spermicide, you insert inside the diaphragm. She handed me the diaphragm and encouraged me to try, so I took it and folded in the manner she described and just as the words "like this?" are escaping my mouth the thing shoots across the room. It hit the gynecologist in the forehead, right between the eyes leaving behind a large gob of KY Jelly that dropped onto her nose just as the diaphragm hit the floor by her feet. Mind you I'm in this little paper gown, with a possibly unshaven leg on the stirrup in a most undignified, unlady-like position I could be in. I recall the doctor blinking several times as I remained frozen with a look of horror on my face, and my fingers still trying to make the "taco" position to air. The more dignified doctor, excused herself and escaped through the door before I could speak as the reality of what occurred began to sink in. I was aghast, unable to move until I heard through the door the doctor bursting out in laughter and saying, "you're not going to believe this" and another voice asking, "why do you have lube on your nose?" I trembled and somehow remained quiet as the gynecologist returned after a minute or two. Her white coat was now gone and she was in "birthing scrubs," with one of those hardhat styled masks that covered her entire face, forehead to chin. Without missing a beat she picked up the diaphragm, still laying on the floor, washed it off in the sink, and lubed it up again before handing it back to me and said, "shall we try this again…Fold it like a taco and insert it." To this day the words Taco and Gynecologist makes my stomach turn. Thankfully, they aren't used in the same sentence often. ©2004 Whimsical Ranter All Rights Reserved

I Know Why Animals in the Wild Eat Their Young

But a fucking horrible day. Fredo refused to get out of bed, then he demanded his poptart but I gave in thinking I didn't want him upset going to school. I couldn't find his school shoes, have no fucking clue where they went to, so I put him in his play shoes. Meanwhile, while searching for the shoes, I found again shit in the wastebasket, but I didn't comment at that time to him.

Then at 9:30 the phone rings, I have caller ID and it said, "Public School." I answered the phone saying to myself, "Please let it be about Piss-boy." No, it was about Fredo. Apparently, he'd thrown a fit at school again and this time was carried to office kicking and screaming down the hall.

Can someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery. Rainbird was on his way home, and drove here to get me, so that we could pick-up Fredo, who looked rather scared to see both of us show up. When I reminded him that he was NOT going to play that fucking game cube, he blew up again, telling me he was good and did his work. Fuck you, you little liar, I wanted to scream but somehow didn't. I told him tomorrow there is NO school (one of those teacher days), so he's not watching any TV or playing the Game Cube. He started to give me attitude and I went upstairs and put all his toys that he has arranged on the floor into his toy box. He cried, wailed, at the time, but now he's running around his bedroom so I guess he got over that.

I ask Rainbird if he has any cigarettes, we'd had a discussion about needing them when he left to get an oil change in his car for his trip. He said he was out but somehow thought I had some when I spoke very clearly and told him NO. So, I was already pissed off at Fredo, now at Rainbird, and left the house, driving to the gas station, only to find out that they no longer take off cigarette purchases on the Tank Bank. Damn, with each fill-up, I was only paying $2 a gallon instead of nearly three.

At 2:30, I see Pissboy, running across the street and he come running into the house asking (smiling no less), if I'd heard about Fredo. Piss-boy's classroom is right across the hall and he confirmed when he got home that Fredo was screaming, everyone heard it. He asked to go the bathroom as they were carrying Fredo to the office over someone's shoulder.

I spoke to the teacher, and she assured me that more than likely things will improve with him, we just need to keep with it. I asked her if she would send home a note each day indicating Good or bad, and she said she would--I hope she remembers.

Tomorrow Piss-boy might be going to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the day, I'll be sure to take Fredo along and tell him that if he were good at school, he'd get to go also. If that doesn't work out, Rainbird said he'd take the kid out and be sure to tell him that they are going out for burgers (Fredo's favorite) because if the kid doesn't know he's missing out on fun stuff, I doubt he'll have a huge reason to improve.

Since then I'm fielding phone calls from family members trying to understand why Fredo is acting the way he is. My grandmother is afraid that I'll take Fredo to a doctor, and they'll medicate him. I told her if they want to medicate him, bring it on. She couldn't understand why I feel that way.

Hell, it's not like he'd take medicine, but I wouldn't mind giving him a daily shot in the ass. Wonder if that can be arranged?

Another Day

Today was another day, I made two dinners, one for tonight and another for tomorrow. Fredo, I guess was good in school today, and will be going to bed soon. One good thing that happened, I got my tablecloths from overstocks.com. One green and one ruby colored with matching napkins.

They'll look great on the dining room table.

Oh Jeeze

Goodness, I started posting to a different board recently, not abandoning my current board but this board is about living on one income, which totally applies to us.

Well, they found my blog. Can I say I'm rather embarrassed because of my last Fredo post.

I should probably take a minute to explain my children's names...

Piss-boy, he's 11 years old and his name comes from the Mel Brooks movie History of the World Part 1. In one of scenes (it's good to be the king) Mel Brooks played Pissboy, the man that carried the royal piss bucket. I love it.

Fredo, he's 6 years old. Fredo comes from the Godfather. "I'm shmart, I can do stuff." Yeah. I nearly called him Forest, but decided on Fredo instead. Never know maybe one day I'll change his name.

Rainbird is my husband. I know Rainbird is kinda a girlie name but it came from my husband's inability to hit the toilet when he pees. The problem gets worse as he gets older and it's more like a sprinkler head than a dick-head now, hence the name, Rainbird.

So Much For Quiet.

I finally went upstairs to put those clothes in the dryer that had been sitting there since yesterday, as I walked upstairs the upstairs smelled like shit. I thought maybe the dog had pooped upstairs since it was raining so hard, but first I go into the boys bathroom which is a common stinky place. It didn't really smell in there, so I went into the bedrooms and they didn't stink, so I went into the laundry room, and it was stinky.

I glance around the floor and see nothing and open the washer, but the clothes inside didn't smell like shit, so I threw them into the dryer. The lint filter was already clean so I didn't have to clean it.

I turn around and see Piss-boy's trash can, and look inside. There was shit at the bottom of the can. A big turd and some runnier looking poops.

Arrrg!!!!

I shout for Fredo to come upstairs, since he'd had his pee accident yesterday it all suddenly made more sense.

What I had taken as a accident suddenly seemed more like not a accident at all. Fredo comes upstairs and I show him the can with the contents still inside, and he tells me it was an accident. Then he goes on to say that he can't use the toilet because he's afraid he'll flood the bathroom. I don't get it, since that happened weeks ago and when it had happened I hadn't said a word to him about it and certainly didn't yell at him. I explained the toilet had gotten clogged and that was an accident but what he did was no accident. I told my friend Anita about it, lamenting what am I going to do with this kid. She suggested that I buy a litter box.

I'm taking it under serious consideration.

A Quiet Saturday

I really enjoy quiet Saturday's when I can just not worry about doing a lot of stuff. Rainbird will be gone most of the day today collecting things for his golf trip next week. Kids are playing video games and rotting their brains. The dog is upset because it's raining and he can't eat his poop. I wonder if he's thinking all that perfectly good poop going to waste--No wonder, he twitches when he sleeps.

I do need to call my Grandma this weekend. I also have clothes in the washer that need to go into the dryer. I cooked a roast earlier yesterday before the pot-luck dinner, so dinner is fixed for tonight.

Speaking of the pot-luck, what do you do when someone just shows up unannounced and uninvited? The pot-luck thing is with people Rainbird mostly works with that live nearby and are a down-to-earth bunch with kids around Piss-boy's age. They played video games, watched movies while the rest of us sit around the dining room table and drink wine chatting.

Well, Rainbird's brother and wife showed up with their baby J. J is very cute but he cries a lot, and D is the type to tell his wife to just let the kid cry--He's got to learn. Um, what exactly does he need to learn? Okay, I don't believe in jumping up at the first whimper, but this was horrible. The kid was screaming in his little car seat, while everyone had to talk over the kid. Everyone was gone within an hour and a half. Rainbird tried to tell his brother that they weren't welcomed but that wasn't noticed by either of them. K said nothing about it when she called this morning to ask me if I wanted to go shopping for the new baby.

I'm glad I told I had other plans, even though I don't. I'm not paying out for a lot of things just because she can't keep her legs closed. When she called just last year and told us she'd left D, and needed a place to stay, we let her into our lives thoroughly. She lived here, we helped her find a job, got her a driver's license, etc. She's got no family to speak of because D has been her life for many years (they have two grown children) and I think D has kept her away from her family. When we found out she was pregnant with J we were very supportive, maybe too supportive in retrospect. Rainbird and I paid for a lot of things and I'm not doing it again.

K tells me that D doesn't have a lot of money now and things like that, but they're talking about buying a bigger house? Don't bigger houses cost more than smaller ones? K said that they want a house big enough that each child can have their own room and I wonder if that includes their grown children?

I think I've been snowed royally by these people and I don't like that feeling.