Tis the Season For the Nutjobs

To come out of the woodwork. Apparently some woman in Santa Fe, New Mexico got a restraining order against David Letterman. The woman "claims" he's been sending her signals that he wants her through his show.

Now, that's really not the disturbing part. The incredibly disturbing part is that this obviously mentally ill woman received said restraining order!

I don't know if the judge was trying to be nice to her, or felt sorry for her and figured this would shut her up. What the fuck was the judge thinking?

Of course, Letterman's lawyers went to Santa Fe to argue that the restraining order should be quashed and didn't need to go into a lot of detail as to why. The judge asked the woman if she had any proof, the woman admitted, no, but cautioned that if anyone from Letterman came near her she'd break their legs.

Her point made, the press coverage, maybe a book deal out of it, and this nutjob, gets her 15 minutes of fame. The judge that signed off on the restraining order in the first place should be subjected to judicial review and that woman should be brought up on charges for making a false statement, thus, forcing the nutjob into therapy.

It's the Sex

A man recently replied to one of my rants about men asking very frankly that if men are all stupid why do we marry them. I fired off a typical comment, the sex. Okay, maybe not that typical but what the hell. Fredo then asked for something and I got distracted for a few minutes while Rainbird sat on the sofa flipping channels (this is a rather dull time of the year for him, as he has all the associates doing work for him) and possibly contemplating how to bill the client for him watching the Golf Channel. I sat at the computer and began to ponder.

The reason we marry them is honestly for the sex, there might be other reasons, we like their personalities, or the way they look at us, or how good a provider they are, but that's just bullshit woman magazine reasons. The truth is we like sex. There I said it, women like sex! Of course we have rules about when we like sex. With each woman the rules are different so I couldn't possibly list them all here. We especially like holiday sex. Why else does every woman always try to have boyfriend over the holidays? It could be because of the gift but it's also the sex and someone to kiss on New Year's Eve.

I do get annoyed when he starts this shit like rubbing my back in the middle of night or early in the morning, while damn it all, I'm trying to sleep. My head whirls with thoughts, okay, how can keep him rubbing my back without leading him on about getting some? Okay, I'm selfish but I really don't want to roll over, so he'll spend a minute tweeking my tits before driving himself home for another half minute. Then, I'm left all wide awake, with no orgasm, while he rolls over, and begins to snore.

Sex for men is physical but for women it's more mental (no we're not always pretending your really Mel Gibson or some such shit), it's that for us, more of a close your eyes and feel each sensation. Let your mind go and just feel. If he's talented, and even if he isn't, the feeling is incredible. That's when the best orgasms happen.

Of course, nowadays, I'm a lot less picky about when we have sex. Hell, he's over 40 now and I'm lucky he can still get it up. Hell, he's lucky he can still piss in the toilet (most of the time he hits everything but--which is why I call him Rainbird). So, I'll take those 30 seconds of shear bliss, and finish the job later myself.

I Knew I Shouldn't Allow Him in the Kitchen!

Rainbird decided he would help me out by baking his own muffins for work (we recently came across a eggnog muffin recipe and he's been driving me crazy since). So he puts on a apron (because, he's baking at that's a HUGE deal--I'm surprised he didn't put on a freaking chef's hat) and starts mixing the ingredients. He puts them into the muffin pan, and bakes them. Should I mention he made a double batch? He takes them out of the oven and lets them cool, then removes them from the pan and loads it up for the second batch, puts those into the oven. He takes one and breaks it in half, handing the one half to me, which I take a small bite of. He's bragging about how he decided to use Brandy instead of Rum, as I'm thinking...These are horrible. I figure that's the way they're supposed to taste (I'm not a huge eggnog fan anyway). He doesn't say anything. I'm running around cleaning up after him, when he says to me, rather mystified. "It tastes like it's missing something." I shrug rather indifferently, and take another bite of the half he'd given me earlier...I think about it. "Maybe they needed more sugar?" I ask him. He takes another one and tastes it. It hits him. He forgot to add the sugar. He then takes off his apron and tells me that he has a meeting but he'll be back to pick up the muffins later. I've now got two dozen muffins that no one, not even the dog will eat (I tried) and I have to make more for him because he ran out of time. So, I slam things around the kitchen, make the muffins (correctly this time) and I'm just pulling them out of the oven when I hear the channel being changed on the TV, and figure the kids are down to watch cartoons or something. Instead of Ed, Edd and Eddy, I hear the Golf Channel. Now, I know the kids would NEVER watch that. I turn around and see him watching it, stretched out across the sofa with his feet up. "I thought you had a meeting?" He explained he decided to blow it off. He'll be home later after he gets back from the ER getting the Muffin pan dislodged from his ass. That Pam® cooking spray is really great for things other than baking.

It Actually Snowed

I really think the picture says it all.

Disjointed Thoughts

I've been not feeling well the past few days, nothing serious no avian flu, just a bug that's left me feeling really tired, right at the height of my busy time. I coughed all night, interrupted by short periods of sleep, but I'll admit, I'm feeling a little better tonight. That said, I still don't have all the kids gifts wrapped or all the batteries purchased, nor do I have any of the other gifts wrapped either. I really don't have all the stocking stuff, or enough for Rainbird. This year, I got him a gift but upon reflecting, I decided it looked a tad gay, so I'm taking it back to hopefully exchange it for a different one. I never do that, I should have just got him the other one to begin with. Meanwhile, Fredo is driving me crazy with his gift list. He keeps adding to it. I swear with Piss-boy it's like pulling teeth to get that kid to say he wants anything. Fredo, no surprise is the opposite, and wants everything he sees. The latest obsession was a race car thing that has two cars, one red and one blue (he told me that), I checked with Amazon, and it's sold out along with a half dozen other things he asked for. I'm glad I got all I did when I got it all, I don't think I could find much of anything now. If only I could only get everything wrapped.

I still have to buy a card and get a gift certificate for Piss-boy's teacher. I've already got Fredo's teacher's gifts and a gift for the bus driver--I'm sorry but getting my kids to and from school safely is worth a token gift. I also have to take the kids to see Santa and get the pictures into the mail for my Grandma & Grandpa, along with their gift.

I saw today my wacky neighbor, she was asking what we've been doing, I told her that we've been busy, which isn't a lie. I gave her a quick rundown and told her we're going to a couple of parties...And she said, oh work things? As if the only friends we have are Rainbird's work friends. Sheesh, I don't know but it just struck me as rude. Of course, this was the same woman that hunted me down when I owed her $ 1.99 worth of Avon, even though I had offered to pay when I got the items.

Why do people have to be so fucking weird?

I guess I'll just go do my Christmas cards and maybe get those mailed tomorrow. Doesn't that sound like fun?

Monday Musings

I noticed this commercial on TV a couple weeks ago and keep forgetting to mention it here (read I Need A System post). Like so many important things this keeps slipping my mind. The scene opens up with some sort of animal looking- men laughing and looking out the window at something. Further inspection shows they are pig men (I know all men are pigs but these are pigmen). They are apparently laughing at a wolf-man (who resembles more of Wolverine from Xmen without the retractable adamantium claws), who is outside suffering from a cough.

Now the problem with this poorly made commercial aside from man-pigs, is the fact the house they are in is made of BRICK! Hello???

Not surprising, the wolf-man eats a Halls cough drop and inhales giving the impression that he blows the house down. Which of course every grade schooler is well aware that he couldn't be cause the big bad wolf couldn't blow down the house made of brick. Straw--yes. Wood, oh yeah, he could blow that down. Don't advertisers read fairy tales?

I just don't understand any child knows it would never work.

Another stupid commercial that really grates on my nerves are the insurance (Allstate, State Farm one of those companies) commercials with the alleged husband and wife that rolls over her husband's foot. What kind of fucking idiots wonder if it's going to be a homeowners or auto insurance claim? Let me explain something to all the idiot deadbeat and completely stupid individuals. Someone HITS your car, or home, or rolls over your foot that is NO way related to you is an accident, insurance should be notified and rates will increase. IF you did it, you're just incompetent, don't expect insurance to pay for your mistake--I don't care if you feel just because you pay a premium you're entitled to. In fact, if I was their agent, I wouldn't be on TV with them, I'd be sending a letter of cancellation because they are obviously too dull-witted to be insured. Or at the very least raise their premiums so fucking high they'd be shamed into going with another company so I wouldn't have to deal with them. I guess if some government yahoo isn't around to protect them from themselves, or a fucking Attorney to sue the tire companies for not putting warning labels on tires, some people just won't survive. Its more than advertisers, it's the dumbing down of America.

AAA, learned that lesson the hard way, years ago they ran adds reminding people if they backed into a pole, they could still file a claim. Yeah, thousands did, they pulled the ad and raised the rates for everyone.

Of course, those are likely the same people that believe evolution is just a theory and would rather believe mythology and promote the latest laughing stock, pop pseudo-science, like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or the eternally vague concept of "intelligent design."