According To The Welfare Board

I'm really getting tired of this crap on the Wefare board. I'm not a bleeding heart liberal but still I grow angry with some of shit I repeatedly read. They give trigger answers to complex problems, spread stereotype and urban myths.

Here is what I've learned since lurking and occasionally posting.

On welfare? Ask friends and family for money/food instead of gifts, regardless if they are for your children, because children don’t need toys, and your children don’t deserve them anyway because you’re on welfare, except for old housewares you have laying around. Also, if you're invited to dinner and a friend offers you an alcoholic beverage you must refuse because you're on welfare.

On HUD? Don't use your heater, electricity even if you live in Alaska, you don’t deserve heat, and you can forget about internet access. That would upset some of the people on the board should you tell them about it.

On food stamps? You may only buy foods that are healthy, contain no sugar, or sugar substitute, also forget about buying anything like cakes even if it's for a birthday because you don't deserve to celebrate, you're on food stamps remember? Again, it pisses off the taxpayers, who have decided they want to know exactly how you're spending each dollar you collect. Better read up on the Hillbilly housewife website at the library so don't need to be wasteful and can learn to make your own sanitary napkins.

If you are on all of the above you must first sell all your personal possessions, including those 501 Jeans you’ve had in your closet since High School. You must sell your house, deplete your savings account, and sell off all your furniture, your children’s toys, computer, car, pets, stereo equipment, and TV’s.

If your spouse becomes catastrophically ill, you can simply divorce them and get more medical aid for them.

Don't celebrate any holiday or birthday, because you have no right to, and for god's sake, don't drink any alcohol even if it's offered for free because you're just not worthy.

Oh if you're on any kind of assistance...you can't own a car because, well you don't need it. If you live in an area where there is no public transportation, you must move to a city regardless of where, I guess the more crime-ridden the better. This could also be used as an example of how people throw comments like that out there, without saying anything else to back themselves up, with the sole purpose of inflaming the board. Unfortunately, the board takes the bait.

Absolutely no manicures or hair cuts of any kind but you can ask your hardwood store for a spare piece of sandpaper. Pinking shears can be used to give you a nice “Moe Howard” haircut. Remember you have no right to look better than a taxpayer. Better work on that "hobo" look, it will go well with the "Moe."

You have no right to a pet; even goldfish food is too expensive when you’re on welfare. The rats or cockroaches in your house don’t count though, unless you name them.

You may not ever buy clothing new, except underwear, which, hopefully as long as your ass isn’t too wide, can be purchased at the dollar store. You must only shop at thrift stores, remember material to make clothing is expensive too, and some might mistaken it for designer. If you're on welfare or food stamps and your ass is too wide, it's because you're eating on the taxpayer's dime. Hey! That rhymes.

Never ever buy any name brand clothing for your child/baby, like “Baby Dior, or Nike” because people will think you’ve paid full price for them and likely you’ll be rounded up, buried in the ground to your neck and stones thrown at you. Just like in the Middle East for letting a man look at your hooo hooo.

If for some reason you do end up on welfare it’s simply because you didn’t plan well enough, and didn’t forsee every possible scenerio.

The welfare queen does exist.

All people on welfare eat better, and have more extras than those working for a living.

Everyone on welfare is lazy and refuses to get a legitimate job.

Everyone on welfare uses the system to get more welfare or cheats the system.

Trips to the dentist aren't needed.

Finally, if you are on welfare, and visit this board, please refrain from discussing your personal story because while some posters believe in placing their personal, holier than thou opinion up for debate, your life sadly isn’t good enough. Also remember that because they have done for example worked nonstop to avoid debt, there is NO reason that you can't also. Please don't waste your breath trying to argue that your situation is different, because if they did it, so should you. PERIOD. This also follows into the idea that you shouldn't have kids unless you can afford them, even if you go broke after the kids come along it doesn't matter because you didn't plan well enough.

My Latest Obsession

Is with the iTunes store. I should be growling because this is such a thing that Rainbird would do, but instead it's me doing it. A friend recently was talking about downloading music and I thought that's just silly. Then I started thinking about it, I mean I love music but how many countless groups have albums (yes I'm old and still call them albums) with only one or two good songs on them? How many completely perfect albums are there really? Sgt. Pepper? Incredibly perfect, Rubber Soul? Yes that's an example. Black Sabbath's Paranoid? Yes another great example of a perfect album. AC/DC's Back in black, another album that every single song is fantastic. Who's Next, Who Are You, are other examples. Led Zeppelin's 1st and 2nd albums also could make the list. Montrose's first album (the one with Sammy Hagar singing). Fleetwood Mac's Rumors. Pink Floyd had a few great albums like Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, and the Wall. The point is these are all albums that it's difficult to pick out a song or two because the whole thing is so good. You're better off buying the whole thing, rather than wasting the nickels and dimes buying songs one at a time.

I can't count live albums because those normally have the bands great songs on them anyway (or at least should), aside from that only a handful of pefect live albums exist anyway (the mix normally sucks). On the other hand, most studio albums have one or two really good songs on them, most groups fall into this category, with maybe the exception of the Beatles. Groups I love but would never pay for the entire album include, Jefferson Airplane/Starship, Traffic, Rolling Stones (except Tattoo You and Beggar's Banquet), David Bowie, not to mention thousands of One Hit Wonders with songs that I love like Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass. Who the hell remembers them? Oh Them, they did the song G-l-o-r-i-a. Mountain had maybe two hits, Its a Beautiful Day, one good song, America had two, maybe three, but not enough to even buy a compilation album. Then of course Seals and Crofts, Jim Croce, Climax, Three Dog Night, just to name a few. Probably if I sit and think, a lot of Motown stuff too. I could really go on.

So this leads to the newest obsession of paying a dollar and downloading a song, I've downloaded 15 songs so far and I keep thinking of more to download. Rainbird should be scared but I think he's too stupid to be afraid. Or rather, maybe I should fear he'll jump on the download bandwagon and then I'd be scared.

Mom is...

Broken

Watch the Cookie...

::Piss-boy talking::

"Sit."

"Stay."

"Shake hands...Good boy."

"High Five."

"Watch the cookie....wait for it...no...no....no......"

"Okay!"

Fredo takes the cookie while the dog looks and twitches wondering what the hell is going on, and why Fredo is doing HIS tricks.

For Cindy

I'm in a pissy mood tonight so when I started to reply to your question, it turned into a post. I figured I might as well put it here.

No one, it was a story on one of those access Hollywood type shows, lower brow than entertainment tonight. I'd never watched it before but Rainbird was afraid of missing the Olympics.

He sucks. We didn't go out for our date tonight because he's not feeling well. Why is it when I'm not feeling well and he wants to go out, he guilts me into going but when HE doesn't feel well, he mopes and whines until I suggest we stay home, then he gets all pissy with me and tells me I just don't want to go. I just can't win. Right now, he's endlessly flipping channels impatiently waiting for the Olympics to start and repeatedly asking which channel it's on....

"Its on FUCKING channel 8, you dumbass!"

Exactly how many times must I say it??? I guess enough for it sink into his thick fucking skull.

Also, don't get me started on the whole Michelle Kwan (Ms. I-don't-know-if-I'm-going-to-skate). I feel bad for the person that will have to leave at the last minute fly to Torino, get settled all because the spoiled brat whined like Tanya Harding (TH is from Oregon, doesn't that figure?) until she got to go. Can you tell this is bugging me?

Let's see since blogger is having connection issues yet again, I guess I'll continue ranting, this time about Fredo who has been UP MY ASS all day long. Oh Christ if this kid doesn't go to bed soon....I'll scream!

Fuck NBC

I'm fucking sick of NBC saying fuck you to the west coast. I'm sitting here at home hoping to watch the opening ceremonies for the Olympic games, which was supposed to start at 8PM PST. What do I see....CRAP. My friends on the East Coast just saw the torch being lit and told me that Peter Gabriel sang a song. If they are showing that on the East coast now, why NOT show it "Live" here instead of wasting everyone's fucking time watching this crap that NO ONE fucking cares about. Do they think people here will throw a fit if they miss some Hollywood gossip show???? It's not like it's really live anyway...There's a 9 fucking hour time difference..And I'm sure they're not all up at 6AM doing all this shit for just the American's. Honestly, the whole fucking country should be pissed off at NBC right now! They decided how they show the opening ceremony, didn't they? They decided to sell more fucking commercial time, to pay for their team of hundreds to go and give us information again no one really fucking cares about.

I don't give a shit seeing past gold medal winners or hearing Michelle Kwan's *she's a whinny bitch anyway--I'm sure the person who got booted from the team just loves her* opinion on anything. Just fucking show us what we want to see and let us turn it off or keep watching it if we decide to.

I guess it's just starting now...I see some asshole in spandex hitting an anvil with a huge hammer. I still don't see why they didn't just show whole fucking thing at the same time. Shit if we have to watch the Fucking President at 6PM here to see him live, they should at least start the Olympic thing at 6PM with all that preshow crap about Michelle Kwan and showing skiing trials. Fuck NBC and fuck Debra Norville, Brittney Spears and that asshole that used to be married to that dumbass blonde bitch. Fuck the crossdressers and the drunks that leave messages on people's voice mail.

Tuesday Morning Blues

I don't think anyone slept last night and I know for a fact I heard Fredo around midnight sniffling, so I gather he's coming down with a cold, Friday, thankfully there is no school, so hopefully he won't miss any days. Pissboy came down complaining that his gums were hurting (brush your damn teeth once in a while and they won't hurt), and he didn't like what I said to him about it. Fredo's whining that he doesn't feel well.

After yesterday, what with the drain clogged and the meeting with Fredo's teacher, along with a myriad of other problems (nothing too huge though), I just felt mentally drained but couldn't sleep. Finally drifted off around one or so this morning. The rains have backed away, so now the morning temps are freaking cold, 30˚ F this morning. Is it spring yet?

Plants here, probably from all the rains are starting to show signs of spring, buds forming on the lilac, plum and apple-pear trees, along with buds, and shoots on the Oregon Grape and Huckleberry bushes. Azaleas are showing slow signs of new growth and I don't know how much bigger the cones on the Rhododendron can possibly get. Pussy willows are starting to form on the poor tree out front that requires a piece of wood to hold up (I can't believe that thing made it through all the winds). Next month maybe things will start looking pretty.

Fredo News

Did you know that they have summer school for Kindergarten, well they didn't in the school district in California (there they didn't begin summer school until 3rd grade), but they do here! I'm rather floored at the idea but any extra help Fredo can get will be good but we'll be giving up the whole summer for it. I'm not going to say anything until the parent/teacher conference next month to anyone except for Rainbird, who already is not thrilled. The upside, if there is one, is that he is showing some improvement, though slow and the teacher wants to move him away from the looking at her thing toward the participation in class thing. For now he'll bring home two reports then eventually just one until we get that under control, then we'll move him further I'm sure.

The teacher will also start sending home additional work for him to do, to augment the classroom work but she admits 1st grade without all this help will be a struggle so I'll likely at some point be shelling out money for a tutor or something. What I'm going to do with him at home is make him speak clearly for things he wants and ignore him when doesn't speak clearly. Since he can speak and relate things that happen to him. This will be a good tool, at least I hope. I'm also going to add a few small chores for him to complete, which will be rewarded on weekends with something special.

I see so much improvement in him--he's actually starting to write his name (okay he doesn't get all the letters but he gets most of them), and we'll continue working on things at his pace but its going to be slow and I have to remember that. He's going to write his name on every Valentine for his class, I'll write the other ones--I told his teacher that and she thought it was a great idea.

So, We Watched the Half Time Show or Why I hate Janet Jackson

Mick and the boys sounded horrible which was no real surprise, because I think everyone sounds horrible at the Superbowl. The big question in my mind was what song would they open with? Would it be very predictable? It was; they opened with Start Me Up. The next question was, would they sing the words, "You make a dead man cum." Rainbird said they wouldn't and I said they would they would. They came to time in the song when they would say it..I waited bursting with anticipation, Mick sang the words, "You make a dead man...." Rainbird and I looked at each other and said at the same time, "They censored it!"

Yet another reason to hate Janet Jackson.

In other news:
Rainbird decided to be nice to me and cook dinner last night and ended up stopping up the sink horribly, and passing out from drinking too much wine. I threw some drain cleaner down there but as of this morning, it hadn't worked. I'm going out today to buy the stuff I really like, Liquid Plummer, and we'll see if that works--if not, we'll have to call someone, and I don't want to see that bill.

Can I scream? I went to use the keyboard last night and realized the enter key on the far right wasn't working and neither were the numbers 1,2,3. I commented what the fuck was going on?! Pissboy spoke up saying Rainbird had spilled a little water on the keyboard. This morning when I got up, I tried to log in, and found I couldn't because a different letter wasn't working. I got the old keyboard that thankfully, I told him to save when we got the new computer, and quickly discovered half the keys weren't working right. Now, the next time he gets paid, I'll have to buy a new keyboard.

Mac charges too much for this shit, if we had a regular PC, it wouldn't cost us anything but with a Mac, a regular keyboard costs us around a 100 dollars.

Weekend Stuff

Well, the weekend is here and is already up to a weird start, because I slept in really late (10 AM, yikes!) and now it's just after 1:30 PM and I still have yet to dress for the day. My pink eye is still with me but clearing up very slowly it seems.

This morning I woke with a slightly goopy eye, of course Rainbird has it now, so I'm concerned because I don't want it back. I don't want to take the medicine anymore unless I start having real symptoms so for now, I'm just bathing the eye. Have I mentioned I really do miss wearing eye makeup? In any event, I haven't done too much but thankfully, it's been a nice day. I just took a break from this and started making some brownies, not sure why except that we have to get rid of the crap food around here. Rainbird went to the doctor and has his cholesterol checked, along with everything else, and was declared healthy enough but there's room for improvement. The doctor really wants him to quit smoking (and so should I), lower his blood pressure and cholesterol, both were not too high but with a proper diet, and exercise it would likely come down on its own. I guess a few more days of crap won't kill him, so I'll use up what we have then start moving him to healthy food (the kids will be so thrilled). I've also cleaned off my reading glasses because since having the pink eye I see better with them.

Rainbird today has a luncheon law thing to attend and promised he'll be home by 3PM to do something with Fredo (he hasn't a clue what they'll do) as reward for doing well at school all week. We'll see if he makes it since he wears a watch but doesn't understand the concept of looking at it except to see how long until he takes a break or needs to be somewhere; I'm curious. After that he mentioned lightly we might try to get to Costco so again I'm not holding my breath, though poor Fredo will be pissed if his dad blows him off again, especially since he did all his homework for the week TODAY. Yes, the child is a procrastinator, but that shouldn't be a surprise here.

I also made up menus for the next two weeks and really need to get to costco to buy food; the very nice thing about making the menus is that I can shop for exactly what I need to buy, and that should help cut down on stupid trips to the store. Let's see, what else, we survived the trees being cut down and storm last night, which is supposed to be the last storm for a while but we'll see if they're right.

In other news, Fredo's teacher called and said it's time to meet again on Monday for the "team" meeting and we'll have to see if there's been improvement. I feel he's a little better, just the other day he drew an "A" on his leapster LMAX. I asked if he could make a "B" and he did it. Next time he does it, I'll ask him to make a "C" and so on. I would be surprised if he can write his letters but have difficulty with identifying them. Whatever.

Sorry this a dull post--just not feeling very pithy and I'm rarely terse. Good news, Rainbird just phoned and said he's on his way home but he did hope to take the little guy to a movie but, they won't get there in time. I think he'll just take him out for a burger then come home and have him hammer some nails in the basement. Honestly, I don't think Fredo cares a whit what they do, he just wants time with his dad.

Oh FUCK!

This is fucking scary! They're taking out the trees out back. Shit...I can't believe with the exception of the chainsaw, taking out trees hasn't changed much in the last 1000 years or more. It's fucking loud, the house shakes, and there's more sun coming through our windows now than ever.