Please Excuse Me While I Break Down

The Road To Hell

At least that's what I've always heard; the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I had the best of intentions when I paid to have the new dishwasher installed. Rainbird's been so busy lately I didn't want to pressure him and also the enticing ideal of having the old one carted off instead of living in the garage for the next 60 years had something to do with it. However I've come to believe that I was wrong about that.

Of course having the water in the kitchen shut off might have something to do with it. I don't know if the guy that installed it did something to sabotage it, he mentioned a few times that he also installed faucets the first time right after he pointed out a leak. Funny but when I cleaned out the underneath of the sink; nothing at all was wet, including the bag of napkins. I was surprised but I also recalled Rainbird mentioning that the spray thing was leaking a little. After the guy left I noticed water under the sink and of course when Rainbird came home to inspect he noted it. He crawled and stretched under the sink, tightened things up and placed a pot under the sink. He said he'd look at it more when he came home for dinner. I asked if I could run the dishwasher and he said it should be fine so I did. I also neglected to check again for water. I was busy being pissed off at Fredo for crying at school and making me come and get him (more about that later).

I cooked dinner and since the TV wasn't on, I could hear water dripping, I opened the cabinet and saw water dripping from several locations all under the faucet. I tried Rainbird's cell but it was off, so I emailed him then I sent another email and a third, each detailing first the small amount of water, and having him call after reading the one that said there was a couple cups of water in the pot. He called and told me to shut off the water under the sink and explained how I should do that.

He came home while I was taking the kids to back-to-school night, signing up with the PTO and figuring out about parent teacher conferences. Fredo saw his kindergarten teacher and sort of said hi to her and he kinda apologized to his teacher for crying. She was so nice to him and said she'd talk to him about it tomorrow. Meanwhile I was in hell because all he kept saying was that he wasn't ever going to school again. I can't take this shit any longer, it's like a repeat of last year and I'm not going through it again.

He came home, looked under the sink for an hour, and then said he was shutting the water off again. I knew that was bad. He smirked. Oh how he smirked. I knew he didn't want to pay to have the dishwasher installed and I didn't trust him. He quietly announced that we have to replace the garbage disposal, and faucet, adding that we might as well change the sink since I hated it anyway. It would also look nicer having a new sink.

I'm so depressed. I've already spent money on a few holiday gifts and I'm suffering from a huge case of buyer's remorse. Had I known all this would happen, I would have never let that idiot install it, I would have bought a less expensive dishwasher and let Rainbird install it whenever he had the time.

I guess the crux is that I hate it when he's right. Lately he's been right a lot and it's just getting to me because I'm questioning everything.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

A New Day

Random Notes

It's been a long while since I thoroughly cleaned the stove and I'm embarrassed how much grime and grease was on it. Coupled with the fact the boys are home from school today (one of those teacher days) and Fredo is driving me crazy because he won't shut his fucking mouth. He can never just be quiet and always has to be making some sort of noise but this is starting to drive me crazy. I even gave up and took the kids outside for a while, lifting rocks and searching for bugs but we came across a snake and that ended the fun. Like I wrote yesterday, every freaking time I get a moment something happens, either the phone or the kids come into the room and it breaks my concentration.

Maybe I'm just being bitchy but is Fox news either fair or balanced like they claim to be, or do they just spin the other way? I'm beginning to believe that there is not a single news agency out there that really cares about telling the truth. They all seem to sell whatever version of the truth won't cost them to lose most of their viewers.

Breaking News:

The Mona Lisa was pregnant. Maybe that explains the grin on her face, she was annoyed he was taking so long.

The Long and Winding Road

I’m still chewing Nicorette gum, but it's funny I only get one or two serious cigarette cravings a day (after dinner and at night an hour or two before bedtime). Nicorette gum doesn't tell why should discontinue use after 12 weeks but I've come to find out two things: Most people chew it longer. No one talks to his or her doctor about it.

I guess there is some degree of addiction possible; me I'm just addicted to gum any gum now. I've gotten used to chewing it and now actually enjoy chewing gum something I have never done before.

Is It Fall Yet?

The temps for the past 6 days have been in the mid to upper 80's, and the only bonus is that cools off really fast at night. Where did the Autumn temps go, more importantly where is the rain? Maybe I shouldn't be complaining.

Is it Wrong to Bake Cookies?

Today is dishwasher installation day. I can't wait to use it (I know I'm a geek). I didn't even have to offer oral to anyone for a morning appointment.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Lost in a Sea of Stupid

I Could Use A Better System

I keep thinking of great things to blog about, like President Bush today having a hissyfit at some reporter, much the way former President Clinton did over the weekend; but by the time I get to the computer I've forgotten.

Both are acting pretty defensive. Bush was telling some reporter today to stop listening to gossip, or something like that; I don't know he must have been really pissed though because he was stuttering. Think someone needs a blowjob. Who is to blame? Who the fuck cares? That's in the past and we need to look to the future but don't try to tell our media that, they believe somehow that they help by uncovering the truths as they see them.

I've been spending the morning cleaning, I really thought once Fredo was in school all day I'd have more time but it just seems that I don't. I'm neglecting my friends, Jamie has been after me for days to have coffee with her, another friend Jane's been calling and don't get me started on Brother-in-law's perfect girlfriend who I don't want to get close to because she's just part of his post divorce fuck phase. I haven't chatted on line with anyone either each time I think of signing on, the phone rings. Hell I don't have to attempt to sign on all I have to do is think about it (like now) and the phone rings.

Brother's or Sister's Lite?

Remember in the late 80's early 90's there was a show called Sisters? It had 4 or 5 sisters all with boy names, like Toni or something. Anyway, I seem to recall that it was a chick show and the guy I was together with at the time couldn't stand it so I didn't watch it much. Now there's a show called Brothers and Sisters on ABC, and I saw it but I don't see it becoming a hit. Anyway while I watched it, upstairs alone, I had an epiphany chick shows really don't make it anymore on prime time, unless they have something to offer men. Desperate Housewives has really gorgeous women, so men don't seem to mind watching it much. But shows like CSI, Law and Order with other shows like that don't need drop dead gorgeous women to get men to watch but they do need at least one really good looking guy. Or Captain Kirk, because Murphy Brown just isn't going to bring guys to the tube to watch Boston Legal, but they will tune to in to see if James Spader makes a good looking female attorney crawl across the floor to him, like he did in the Secretary.

ER has become nothing but a nighttime soap that has nothing to do with ER and more to do with personal lives. Have you ever seen Jack McCoy's wife or ex wife on Law and Order? Is he even married? Maybe that's why Law and Order works. Thank goodness there's not 6 different ER shows, of course General Hospital could be considered part of that franchise.

In any event I'm kinda surprised that I seem to be watching more TV this season than I have in the past. I've watched some of Wife Swap two weeks in a row. I'm getting scared. When I start blogging about what Oprah or Ellen or Regis and whomever he's hosting with; someone please slap me.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Weekend Madness

Just Get the Bosch

Could be heard throughout the suburban Sears store as Rainbird grew weary of hearing me compare and contrast each dishwasher by style, ease of use, and how well my Fiestaware dishes fit. He didn't scream at me, but made his frustration known the only way he knows how, he whined about how long I was taking. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and followed his lead purchasing the dishwasher.

We've had a lot of extra expenses this year so I'm getting creative again with our finances so that next year I don't make the same mistakes again (I can hear a collective "yeah, right" from across the nation). At least this year we haven't been completely irresponsible with money (read Just a little irresponsible) but we've had more than our share of frivolous moments compounded by real needs. I'm sorry but a dishwasher in this house is a need, I shudder to think what our water bill would be without one.

Saturday Night's Alright

Weird to me but Saturday night we were invited to a client's house for a cocktail party and it was crawling with kids. Hasn't anyone in this state heard the words babysitter? To me there is nothing worse than seeing a 5 year old parked in front of a shrimp plate while mom (or dad) a few feet away chat and say nothing about the child consuming his weight in shrimp.

Now honestly, I don't eat shrimp (I'm allergic) but that little runt was keeping me from some yummy blue cheese with his standing at the middle of the buffet table in front of shrimp. I silently cheered when the hostess came over to refill the shrimp plate, and moved it so that the little twerp couldn't get his fingers on anymore. So, what did said twerp do? He whined to his mom, who moved the shrimp plate back. I'm sorry but was that plate his personal plate of shrimp, or was it for everyone to share? I don't think so. Not that any grown-up or child would want to touch it after this kid had put his grimy hands all over each piece of shrimp. I cheered quietly to myself when the hostess returned and took away the shrimp plate all together, and when the child complained to his mom, the mom told him to go find something else to eat. I think, and I really do mean this, the mom meant to say "horde" but she didn't.

We picked up the kids at Grandma and Grandpa's sufficiently stuffed with candy and cookies, wired to the hilt, and returned home. Fredo asked what we were doing tomorrow; I think he wanted to go back to Grandma's house for more of the good life. I explained that we had chores to do around the house and one of those chores was to clean up his bedroom.

After months of being afraid to clean up his bedroom out of fear that he'd freak out or act out in school I bit the bullet when I nearly fell down, and decided to clean it out. Especially with the holiday's around the corner, and more crap coming into the room. I have to say I'm proud of him. A whole huge garbage bag was stuffed for trash and another smaller bag is filled with stuff for charity.

It took all day but his room now is completely clean, nothing on the floor, arranged on the bottom bunk of the bed, nothing out on the floor. Everything has a place and everything is its place.

The Dream House Winner Got Me Thinking

Last night we were watching Extreme Makeover where they took a 900 sq ft house, leveled it, and rebuilt a 4000+ sq ft house in it's place, complete with a huge football field, but I started wondering…How do people that can't afford to move, or fix even basic things (like windows, doors, etc) in their house afford to pay the property taxes, heating costs, and day to day running of such a large house? Don't get me wrong, I think it's great for them but still just in electrical alone, I don't know how much that house would cost to run. I heard that the winner of HGTV's Dream House is putting the house up for sale because he can't afford the taxes on it…and it does make sense if you think about it. Wonder what happens to some of the recipients of an Extreme Makeover after the cameras are turned off, everyone goes home, and the show airs?

Meanwhile Huge Kudos For ABC

I can watch Desperate Housewives online for free. Whoo hoooooooooooooooooo!

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Holy Crap Its Already Friday?

Can you believe it, the weekend is practically here and I haven't a clue what we'll be doing, I don't even know what the options are for the weekend. I know I need to pull all the apple-pears off the tree, but aside from that, which isn't all that exciting there's been no better offers. I guess we could go downtown and visit the Saturday Market; oh and I wonder when the holiday gift fair will be?

The Purpose of Advertising

There is a reason now I won't buy one of those new Volkswagens; they have to be the most damned unlucky cars on the road. Every time I turn on the TV one of those are getting hit. Have you seen the latest commercial two women are in a car discussing the commercial and over the top they are when BAM they get nailed by a car.

Like I said…why would I buy a car that is obviously a magnet for other cars. I'll buy a Volvo before I get one of those.


Have a great weekend--See everyone on Monday.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

How Do Conspiracies Get Started?

How can someone wake up in the morning and decide that the Holocaust was a lie and how can the same people decide that 9-11 was simply a government plot? I wonder if people from my grandmother's generation wondered if Pearl Harbor was a government conspiracy too? I doubt it; this seems in my opinion to be more recent. Our government has admitted lying in the past it must mean that every major event is now a lie. The government had JFK murdered, the Holocaust didn't happen (the Jews shown in photographs said to be mass graves were only sleeping after having been on a hunger strike for a few weeks). I remember someone trying to convince me that Vietnam was all about oil but if that region of the world did have more oil than the Saudis, don't you think someone would have found it by now?

Do these things start out as rumors and the more they are repeated the more likely they're true? I'm not going to mention the website that pontificates that 9-11 didn't really happen and yes that's exactly what they did say on their website within a year of the event. No plane hit the pentagon, they "reported" and the twin towers were systematically leveled because the New York Port Authority didn't have the money to keep up the buildings or some other nonsense. They have an answer for everything but they twist it. The print media reported just the day after the event across the country about the families who received phone calls from the planes. Some did report they were told the plane was going to land…etc. Of course we know now that didn't happen but, by these people it's twisted into the idea that the planes indeed did land, people were taken off, and either given new names, etc, or killed at the behest of the government. Bombs brought down the twin towers because a reporter that day said it looked as though they came down like a demolition. Well, they did but not because of bombs but because of a chain reaction that caused it to collapse on itself.

They claim because some people were only mildly burned that the fire wasn't hot enough but we also know that is not entirely the case. I could go on, but my stomach is turning. Is there a way to take over a country without launching a coup or firing a shot? Is it through media that we are truly most vulnerable? I don't know but I do know the first time I heard of the conspiracy surrounding Pearl Harbor I was in High School, third period American History. The teacher presented it as fact and gave me a C in that class because I was blind as far as she was concerned. I had a hard time believing it but with the way it was presented by her, it was compelling. I remember spending hours in the library reading everything I could get my hand on and I wrote a report about why that theory was wrong. This was long before the internet which could have made things much easier but she didn't read it, I know that because I had stuck the pages together in the corner. She read likely the topic gave me a D saying that my information was flawed.

Flawed? I guess I got a D because my opinion of the facts differed from hers.

My God Can Kick Your God's Ass

Isn't that how it's gotten lately? President Bush talks about how we have righteousness on our side, and the other side claims that God willing we'll be destroyed. This is something that has bothered me for sometime now even before 9-11.

Years ago in San Francisco a little boy named Kevin Collins went missing, he was never found. Fast forward more than a decade to Elizabeth Smart, and her father saying that he knew God would return her because they trusted in him so much or something like that. What about all the other children that are abducted by strangers? What about Polly Klaas? Did she suffer and die because her parent's didn't believe in God hard enough? If they had maybe she would have lived? What about Kevin Collins? I guess being that he was lost in a godless city like San Francisco doomed him from the start. I think reading Dan's blog yesterday got me thinking, is Pat Robertson's God better than anyone else's?

Is It Just Me?

Do we really need a Terror Alert system? It's kinda like the Doomsday Clock, if you think about it. Midnight on the clock is bad, and red on our terror alert is bad…If we do go to code plaid don't you think everyone will know about it?

Speaking of the Doomsday Clock, it's currently set to 7 minutes to Midnight and has been there since 2002. I'm sure if Iran and North Korea continue their currant path, it will only be a matter of time before we're closer to midnight than we've been in a long time.

Did anyone see the show Jericho last night? Do we actually need to be reminded on a weekly basis that all life as we know can be over? Don't we get enough of that from the news? In any event I watched and found it to be Lost but instead of an island, it's in Colorado. They mention Denver and Atlanta getting blown off the face of the earth, but don't know if anyone else, save for themselves are still around. I'm willing to bet lots of people are alive and will remain so, at least until the end of the season.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Life Here

Well, summer is definitely giving up her fight with the crisp mornings and evenings, the leaves slowly starting to change from green to gold, and eventually red. Much to Piss-boy's dismay they're starting to fall from the trees and soon, no doubt, our back yard will be filling up like a bowl. Have I ever mentioned that fall is my favorite season? It is if for no other reason than the weather. I love packing away the summer clothing for the season and bringing out my old sweatshirts. I love snuggling on the sofa with the dog, flipping through a magazine, and hearing the rainfall. Add a clean house, a naked guy named Sven catering to my every need, and a glass of Syrah; I'd call that heaven.

Since I'm not dead, and my house isn't clean, Sven is no where to be found and I'm completely out of wine I'll have to settle for a slightly messy house, the TV blaring and a bottle of Blue Dot by Hair of the Dog Brewery. Life is still pretty good.

Isn't Marriage Great?

Rainbird came home from work last evening in a foul mood, immediately after consuming his meat and salad for dinner he bitched until he fell asleep in the chair. I was kind enough to remove the cocktail from his hand, and shut off the TV but I left him there, knowing full well he'd have a horrible headache in the morning. He woke to find the dog licking his face (given the fact the dog loves things that taste like shit it doesn't take too much imagination to know that Rainbird's breath attracted him). Soon Fredo was crawling over him (normally the kids don't really see him in the morning) and he was not happy. I laughed as he dragged his ass into the shower.

I'm still laughing.

Not at all Funny

Baby Abby was found alive, now I must admit I didn't give much hope for this so I'm glad for once I was completely wrong. I can't imagine what hell that mother was going through. Sometimes good does prevail.

Funny But Not

Now, if you worked for a US representative would you write letters to a convicted killer on "company" time to tell him how much you love him? Someone should tell that poor pathetic soul that Scott Peterson is a cold-hearted, self-absorbed individual and doesn't deserve the time of day from anyone let alone some love-struck loser on the taxpayer's payroll.

It's A Weather Balloon

The mystery image captured by the shuttle that is and while I'm at it, aren't those shuttles a little old now anyway? I never thought I'd say this but I think it's time that we skuttle the shuttle idea. Russia is still launching them in a rocket for Christ sakes, maybe it's time we went back to basics. In any event we've always believed the government anytime anything happens that it's either a weather balloon or Big Foot, why not use the excuse now?

What I find really, really odd is that the official NASA website makes everything sound so "normal" and mainstream media is pissing themselves. Three Thousand stories ranging from seeing debries, to a UFO hitting the shuttle.

Still I hope they make it back safely.

How Did You Celebrate?

Yesterday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day, now I will admit that the whole Wife Swap episode involving the stiff self absorbed cheerleader home organizing, Martha Stewart wannabe was bad enough, but did the other NUTS in that episode have to be from Oregon? I'll just have to add that to the list of shows I've seen once and that was enough. Maybe tomorrow I'll share it with everyone.

Anyway I preferred instead to have marked the day by reading the children's Story "How I Became a Pirate" and reading from Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster text (errr ah website). If you have some free time today try the game.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Ramblings on a Wet Tuesday

Okay, I'm Back and This Time I Mean It

Really I do. Lets see during my blogging absence a lot has happened so I won't dredge the recent past because really it wasn't worth me commenting when it happened. I don't watch Dog The Bounty Hunter and could give to two shits and a shake less for Anna Nicole Smith.

What I've been doing is far less exciting, just hanging out with the kids and playing games on the computer (when I get the time). I finally discovered something that actually does remove the dog smell from furniture, so I've been vacuuming a lot. It's that new(ish) Arm and Hammer stuff that you sprinkle. If you used to use it years ago and weren’t impressed (like me) I have to say I was impressed with this obviously improved product.

Why Must Manufactures Do This?

So the other day, I went to Target, well, Target was the second stop in a Sunday of shopping hell, and was looking for the Swiffer products, which I totally missed because they changed their location and box style!? Years ago there was movie with Michael Keaton called Mr. Mom, where he took over raising the kids when he lost his job and his wife went to work to support the family (this takes place in the early 80’s way before Daddy Day Care). Anywho, he was doing the grocery shopping and the kids are correcting his purchases by saying, Mom doesn’t buy that one, she buys this one and they would identify it color/size/shape. I am shocked now to discover that I also shop by color, I was used to the way the Swiffer wet jet boxes used to look like and the redesigned boxes now made them more difficult to find. In fact, the new design reminds me of a box of crackers more than a cleaning product.

What the Hell???

So, I'm walking around in my local Mervyn's and I overhear some store clerks talking about how Target Corp (who owns the Mervyn's chain) is pulling out of Oregon. I'm wondering now where will I buy all the kids clothing? It sounds like Kohl's is buying most of Mervyn's old locations; I really hope it’s worth it.

Dishwasher Dreaming

Ever since I started complaining the dishwasher wasn't working right to anyone that would listen, it's been working fine, and I'm wondering if it’s the calm before the storm. This week, possibly tomorrow, I'm going out to look at new ones and of course I'm bringing some dishes along. I know what I want, I want a stainless steel tub, I want a dishwasher that’s whisper quiet, and will fit all my dishes. Oh and I want it at an excellent price.

I'm glad that I have time to search for the right one, instead of having to run out and buy something just because they can deliver it in a day.

Family News

The kids are doing okay at adjusting to the whole back-to-school routine and I'm kind of surprised, though Fredo's teacher did call me to ask about him not eating his lunch. I swear that kid is waiting for them to change the lunch schedule to better fit with his eating habits. I told her that he eats plenty at home, and when he gets really hungry I'm sure he'll eat something. He probably skips the sandwich just so he can be first for recess. I keep sending him to school with sandwiches (each day they’re cut different so people don’t think I'm sending him with the same one each day…LOL). So far, his teacher seems nice enough; I'm just hoping that he's not too far behind.

Piss-boy isn't happy at all with amount of school work/homework he's been getting from his new teacher. If he doesn't finish something in class she makes them bring it home to finish it here (read at home)...how horrible of her! I'll bet she has a huge wart on her nose and keeps a broomstick in her closet. He'll get over it.

Rainbird's been working so hard lately we hardly see him, and when we do, he has to make snarky comments about the house or kids, so I am really pissed at him most of the time. Maybe I'm just being defensive?

Today's Agenda

I'm going to wash all the family socks and underwear, and maybe a few of the kids other clothing. I'll sweep and vacuum, then maybe hang up all those clothes that are currently on the floor of Fredo’s bedroom. I really need to get in there and start cleaning it up but I'm afraid he'll be pissed off.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Random Thoughts Of Whimsy

Not Only Am I Blonde but Apparently Stupid Also

Over the weekend I decided to shave my legs, which sorry, hasn't been for sometime and me always looking for a time saver decided to try that Veet stuff they advertise on TV. I put it on my legs and that all so important bikini area and ended up losing 90% of my bush. It itches like a muther fucker.

Further evidence (as if any more was needed) of my Blonde history can be found here.

Blast From the Past

I was just spending a little time reminiscing about the way San Francisco was when I was a kid. Wonder if anyone else remembers going down Mission Street on a jitney?

TV Has Fucked Us Up, Now TV Can Fix Us

Dr. Phil has certainly started something; a new pop pseudo-shrink has entered the scene. There’s also a couple new shows on HGTV they are calling Design Therapy. Pediatricians caution that the wrong TV shows can rot children's brains so I have to wonder what it does to the adult brain, guess it rots our brains too, just maybe slower.

Finally

News media reported yesterday that Steve Irwin the famed Crocodile Hunter has died. I feel rather mixed about his passing considering how passionate he was about animals and environmental issues, but the truth is he died, so to speak, with his boots on, doing what he loved. I guess that's way to go.

Did you know that his wife Terri is from Oregon and the pair were married in Eugene? This Ranter’s thoughts rest with the family at this difficult time. No pithy comment from me on this.


© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved