Fair Warning:
After reading all the comments (
) today from Dan and Bionic, the only fair thing (aside from letting them slug it out), is have a run-off question. So....
Thursday morning (PDT), there will be a run-off question on Name That Tune.
First one to give a complete answer will win!
I will also post an update about everything going on. Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend--me, I'm going back to bed.
Since I'll be away most of the weekend, either cleaning or entertaining guests, I've decided on a two-part Name That Tune question.
First, finish this line: Every time that things go wrong I'm still surprised.
Second, tell me who sang it and what album did it first appear on.
As always prizes awarded for the first correct answer.
Other Stuff
In other news I've been given a reprieve, the person that was supposed to arrive tonight, as opposed to tomorrow with everyone isn't coming until tomorrow (Yay!). That will give me more time to clean the house, so that would explain exactly why I'm on here posting about it.
Nice to know I always have my priorities straight. I have to clean the bathrooms, dust, and vacuum. I already cleaned the kitchen this morning so then I'll just have to keep the kiddies out said kitchen. Does anyone else out there feel somehow energized when it rains? For some reason, I always do. When it's hot outside I hate cleaning. Of course, I always put everything off until the last possible moment, so I consider myself lucky that the weather is what it is today.
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Rainbird and I have guests flying in this weekend and I have yet to clean up the house for their arrival (aside from cleaning of the carpet in Piss-boy’s room (you can read about that here). It just seems like something was going on all week to prevent it, and on the days when I had the time, it was honestly, too early in the week to start. With the boys, I know if I clean the whole house on Tuesday, by Friday it will look like hell again. So, I got stuck in between the, too-early-to-clean, and nearly-too-late-to-start (insert primal scream here).
Today I have errands to run and grocery shopping to do for the weekend, even though we won’t be eating here, I know I’ll need things for the kids. Thankfully, things are looking good for the kids to go Rainbird’s parents house over night this weekend so, we’ll have more room. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that no one throws up or something else equally stupid that will dash the plans. I think I’ll be keeping the kids home on Tuesday since that’s the day everyone will be leaving, and it will give Fredo, not to mention me, a chance to decompress. When the kids finally go back to school on Wednesday, they will only have 11 days.
Is It Selfish?
Of me to view the end of school year with mixed emotions? On one hand, the boys won’t have to get up so flipping early in the morning to catch the bus for school, which also means that I can sleep in a little too. That said, because the kids won’t be in school means that I’ll have less “Mom time” because the kids will be staying up later at night. I like the way things are now, Piss-boy and Fredo are both in bed by no later than 9:30 PM, and I have the rest of the evening to do as I please, because Rainbird is normally working from home during that time. I can take a bubble bath (okay I don’t do that nearly enough but it’s nice to know that I could if I wanted to), or clean up the kitchen or even spend time trolling other blogs. It’s not about doing any of those things though really, as I’m sure some can related to, it’s more about the quiet. That’s why I like the mornings here too, because I can sit at the computer and have some real quiet time with Rainbird at work and the kids at school (although instead of sitting here I really should be cleaning the house).
I guess I’d better just resign myself now that the house won’t be clean again until September. Next school year will be even more different since Fredo will be school all day long and Rainbird will be up my ass about me finding a “real” job. Maybe that’s the change I really fear?
I’ve Been Touched by His Noodley Appendage
Well Now! Get your minds out of the gutter. If you can stand another post about the Flying Spaghetti Monster or FSM, for short, I have to say I was on the website again yesterday playing the game and laughing hysterically. Give it a try.
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I decided to shampoo my carpets and probably should have read the instructions first before just shampooing Piss-boy’s room.
After an hour I'm thinking that the stains are just too much for it, and I’m beginning to wonder why I thought this machine was so great to begin with. I used up nearly all the water also, and had very little in the return tank. I drag the machine back into the laundry room as the bird squawks at me as though mocking me. I remove the measuring cup from where it sits inside the machine, and spill rug juice all over the laundry room floor. I suppose that means that the rug juice was actually supposed to go inside the tank.
I refill the tank, with the new cup of rug juice inside the tank, and return to Piss-boy’s room. The floor is pretty wet, but we trudge on, and this time the stains are coming up quickly, as I breathe a sigh of relief, but there is still very little water in the return tank. I look at the plate in front of the machine; it’s loose (probably should have checked that before I started shampooing in the first place). I firmly hit it with my hand, and it quickly snaps into place, then try the machine again. The water is literally pouring out of the carpet now into the return tank. I take another hour to finish the room.
After shampooing the hallway upstairs, and Rainbird’s and my bedroom, including the ugly shit stain still on the carpet from when Fredo was going through his I’m shitting on the floor or in a garbage can phase, I feel like I’ve accomplished something. I bask in the joy of clean carpets. That is until I go downstairs.
In the dining room Dumbass, who had the shits from eating tons of grass, took a shit there, it was slimy, with grass in it. “Ohmyfuckingod!” I scream out. In the laundry room upstairs the bird again squawks loudly in that same mocking tone, as I do the one thing I’d hoped to completely avoid, and begin dragging the machine down the stairs. I quickly do the stain in the dining room just as Rainbird and company returns.
An hour later Fredo comes and tells me that the light in my bathroom is out—it’s been out forever, and I make a mental note that it’s out of toilet paper also. An hour after that, Piss-boy tells me that Fredo used my bathroom to go poop, and got shit on the floor, because he used a paper towel to wipe. Now, maybe I’m wrong but I would think that if someone says something that way, it means there is a little shit on the linoleum. No, it’s on the carpet, nearby the old stain! Again, I scream out OMFUCKINGOD!
The bird squawks and I go downstairs and drag the fucking cleaner back up the stairs again and clean that floor AGAIN. How the hell does he do that???? The toilet area is a good 6 feet or more from where the stain was…how the hell does that happen??????
What the hell is wrong with him? Yes, I asked him but he couldn’t answer. I told him not to use my bathroom anymore, we’ll see if he listens to that.
Random Acts of Blondeness
I went to the store to get avocados for dinner last night; I was going to use them on the burgers and side dishes. Grabbed a bunch of things, but forgot the avocados, went back through the line a second time, but then remembered I promised the kids we’d make s’mores one day this week, grabbed that stuff and forgot the avocados yet again. I kept going through the same checkout line and the lady asked me, what no avocados?
The third time, I remembered them.
I got gas and parked on the wrong side (my gas thingy is on the driver’s side), then I turned and pulled into a different area, and did the same thing again.
Blonde Joke of the Day
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
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I’ve posted about this before but not in any great detail but has everyone heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Well in case you haven’t, it was created to poke fun at Kansas’ Board of education demanding that Intelligent Design be taught in schools. He wrote an eloquent letter to every school board proposing this about he believes the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. He goes on to explain that it must be taught to children while wearing the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s without wearing the chosen outfit, full pirate regalia. He claims that carbon dating is flawed because the Flying Spaghetti Monster changes results and global warming is occurring because he’s angry there aren’t more pirates.
I’m not going to debate the merits of Intelligent Design or the flying spaghetti monster but what I am going to discuss is Scientology. L.Ron Hubbard wrote the Scientology manifesto and also wrote science fiction. Hmm now, say what you will about Flying Spaghetti Monster, but the man who created him has now written his own manifesto, or bible if you will.
It begs to ask if 20 years or so Tom Cruise and the like will discover the real truth and start jumping on sofas preaching the wisdom of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, of course while wearing full Pirate regalia.
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Last night, I was cooking dinner for the family and the dog wanted to eat, I had just taken the previously frozen chili out of the microwave and sat it on the counter while Dumbass bounced around waiting for his meal. I was carefully mixing together his dog food, a delectable combination of wet and dry food, when a small hunk of wet dog food flew off the spoon. You know where it landed, don’t you? You guessed it; it landed right into the chili. I stood staring at it in horror, quietly cursing myself and my very existence on the planet, when the phone rang. Brother-in-law was calling asking if he could come by for dinner, if it wasn’t too much trouble. I grabbed a clean spoon and stared at the noticeable dog food in the chili when the doorbell rang and Fredo knowing it was his Uncle ran to answer it, before I could successfully fish it out, Brother-in-law was standing in the kitchen next to me asking what was for dinner.
What did I do?
I quickly mixed the very small dollop of dog food into the chili, and prayed no one would notice as I told him they were having Chili Dogs for dinner. Everyone raved about how great dinner was; guess I should mix a little dog food in with chili more often.
Washington Does More Dumbshit Things During Election Years
Senior Citizens are about to lose their Medicare benefits and most don’t know exactly how to sign up for the new benefit. Our Fearless leader says that deadlines are important in ABC News’ hot button story (that and Britney Spears is pregnant—isn’t that a load off your mind). How about a deadline for Iraq? How about even a ballpark idea? How about a real deadline for Illegal Immigration? How about a deadline of sorts to the end of high fuel prices? Yes, deadlines are important, I wish someone would explain that to our fearless leader.
Does This Man Have No Shame?
I’m on a Tom Cruise rant again since People Magazine online reports that stupid fuckwit told Good Housekeeping magazine that his 13-year-old daughter told him, “Don’t let this one go. She’s the one.” Ohmyfuckingod! How incredibly self-absorbed can you get? Firstly what the fuck does a 13-year-old know about the complexities of relationships? I don’t care what that stupid Scientologist fuckwit says to try to redeem his apparently faltering public image, getting using his child to show such disrespect to her own mother is just despicable. Haven’t we had enough of him yet? Honestly, he should go live with Michael Jackson. I used to just think he was a shitty actor, period, but now I realize hopefully along with everyone else with half a brain that he’s a shitty person too.
Finally A Word Or Two About Donald Duck and/or Avian Flu
I watched a small snippet of the Bird Flu (formally known here as Donald Duck is evil) movie and hate to admit I laughed my ass off. Instead of using bird flu, small pox would have been more likely to cause all that. Considering in the last two major pandemics most people didn’t know it was going on, except a few more people got sick than normal.
Some semi alarmists in other blogs are asking if you’re prepared for such an event. I ask who the hell has room to store six months worth of everything you would need to survive such a thing? Who knew Donald Duck could be such a threat? What the hell, it is the May sweeps now isn’t it? Funny but ABC first aired the movie The Day After during sweeps and it generated just as much attention. Guess I’ll have to check with my Bible Banging friend to see what Pat Robertson thinks about all this, in fact, I’m willing to bet he’s “encouraging” his views to use those gas masks and generators he encouraged them to buy during Y2K to make use of them.
I just saw a commercial on TV claiming Bird Flu is already here…and they’re selling masks through their website…OMGFUCKINGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won’t even repeat the website because I don’t think they deserve any more hits, besides that commercial spoke volumes.
Wonders Never Cease
How I managed to work into my blog, chili tainted with dog food, Couch Jumper, The Pop Dipshit, the Freaky Manchild, Donald Duck, Our Fearless Leader, and Old Jackass all in one post. Fuck! I’m exhausted now.
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Last night while in the kitchen when I thought no one was around, I farted (loudly) and turned around to see Fredo standing there. He ran out of the room and told Rainbird and Piss-boy about it; I’m never going to live this down. Okay, so what Mom does fart on occasion but I certainly don’t make it an Olympic sport like those nutty people that I live with do.
I’ve started leaving the toilet paper off the roll thingy because I figure what’s the point; no one else does it, why should I bother? When we have company though I will put on airs and put them on the thingy. Actually one roll is still on the “thingy” and everyone is using the extra rolls on the back of toilet, who says conditioning is bunk?
Has anyone else seen those Cingular commercials with the guy talking and then everything goes silent, personally I find it pretty annoying because I don’t often watch TV and I begin to think there’s something wrong with the TV. Did anyone watch that David Blaine special on ABC last night? I love the announcers or whatever you call them reminding repeatedly to everyone not to try this at home. I don’t know but most kids that wouldn’t know better are in bed but then again they could be talking about adults on drugs. Too bad he didn’t succeed though but with all the carefully televised hype regarding this.
Speaking of ABC
Have you seen the previews for that Bird Flu movie they are showing tonight? I’m sorry but I’m sick of this “ripped from the headlines” crap and I really hope no one really watches the movie just for that reason. Not only do I believe this bird flu crap is way overblown but this in many ways confirms it.
You can read for yourself what the CDC says about the movie here
Again From the Welfare Debate
The aforementioned Welfare Debate board is at it again, yes with the nastiness but also somehow trying to defend the idea that girls as young as 14 should be allowed to marry if they want to because, here’s the kicker…. it would keep her off welfare. The level of stupidity just amazes me at times. And for once, most that are against welfare in general are making the most sense. Some of them are trying to convince that children at 14 are able to make those kinds of decisions. One person said she wasn’t talking about Minors but Teens (and as far as I could follow she wasn’t talking about 18 year olds, whom are called ADULTS). What the hell? Teens are not minors? I don’t understand the whole teen marriage thing anyway, because legally teens cannot enter into a contract. Oh and you know what the legal term is for children under the age of 18? They are called Infants.
Blonde Joke of the Day
Did you hear about the two blondes that died at the drive-in?
They had gone to see Closed For the Winter.
Speaking of Drive-In Movies
Are there any left anywhere in this country? Does anyone remember them? I remember making a huge shopping bag of popcorn and going to the drive in with my parents as a kid, and later going there to hang out, see how many people we could sneak in the vehicle, smoke dope and drink beer. Well, how many times did you see Fast Times At Ridgemont High? Or what about Up in Smoke?
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I know it’s a cheap excuse but true nonetheless, I’ve just been plain busy. Doing what, you ask? Well, that I couldn’t say but rest assured whatever I was doing it just didn’t seem to give me a lot of time on the computer. In truth I’ve been avoiding the computer all week, just haven’t had a huge need to be on it and I felt, while liberating, guilty for not updating at least my blog.
I guess you could say I’ve been busy reorganizing my life, just a little bit. I don’t know there’s something about the warmer weather that makes me hate the fact my kitchen cabinets look like junk drawers. Yesterday, I rearranged the pantry shelves and got rid of things we’ve never used, like those cans of spinach (Rainbird purchased those and I’m too ashamed to even donate them to charity). Who the hell actually buys canned spinach? With all the water there’s probably only a nat’s piss amount of it in there anyway. I also looked through some old boxes of cake mix I had, and jeeze I really need to bake more cakes since most expired two years ago (my Grandma has the same problem so it must be genetic).
Well It Could Be It Just Sucks
Tom Cruise’s new movie has apparently tanked at the box office leaving people to ponder if it’s because of his image in the press. Well, let’s take a look at that, shall we? He meets Katy what’s-her-name and professes his undying love for her by jumping on a sofa on Oprah’ s show, while he’s supposed to be talking about his new film War of the Worlds. Then, the couple announces they are getting married followed quickly by announcing they are having a baby and get this the birth is scheduled right before…You guessed it another movie release. I wonder what movie he’s doing next that its release will coincide with the wedding.
More tomorrow.
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Does the media actually have a clue? Do they understand the idea or concept that these so called immigrants snuck into this country and that's considered illegal? Does the media have any real understanding that illegal immigration is a financial concern for this country?
Do they even care?
There is a whitewashing of their headlines that read 1 Million Immigrants Skip Work.
The article goes on to say that it doesn't matter if they are illegal. Fine. I've decided to make unauthorized withdraws from banks. Do you think the bank will mind? I've decided to make unauthorized purchases at department stores. Do you think they will mind?
Okay, now we know where they were, why weren't they rounded up and bussed out of the country? What is their constitutional right to protest???????????????????? They have NONE because they aren't citizens thankyouverymuch.
Well the weekend was complete chaos, thanks for asking and I won’t bore with details, just know that the kids do no longer need to follow their father around anymore. At least for a while, he’s thoroughly burned them out by doing boring things. Yesterday, he took them to the golf course, and I swear even the angels wept for the children.
Meanwhile, I finally cleaned out my small file cabinet beside the computer, got rid and shredded all the crap and it’s amazing how much of that said crap there was. Then, I got one of those drawer organizers, but I ‘m not sure I like it because nothing else will fit into the drawer now (Rainbird said that’s the point). I seem to be on a spring-cleaning and purging kick, several times now the kids are asking if we’re moving. I keep trying to assure them that we’re not, but they remain suspicious, as does Rainbird.
This morning Piss-boy couldn’t find his jacket, then nearly left the house without his backpack; Fredo ironically enough, knows exactly where his things are since he places them in the same place each and everyday. I don’t know what is going with Piss-boy lately except that he’s got the summer shakes. You know how addicts get the shakes until they get a fix? Well, that’s how kids are when summer vacation nears.
I wish the weather would just make its mind if it’s going to be hot or freezing cold, tonight we’re expecting frost with lows in the mid thirties. I’ll have to be sure to drag all plants inside and I’m not looking forward to that, because I’m not taking a chance with my new herbs I painstakingly planted. I’ll also have to remember to turn on the heater a few mornings ago, I left it off and the temps in the house dropped to 61 degrees. Of course that was the same day the AC nearly came on and I was sweating in my bed at night.
Yeah, That Makes Sense
Mexico has called for boycott of American businesses like McDonalds and Wal-Mart to coincide with the ridiculous protests being carried out across the country. Now, I’m sure that Wal-Mart doesn’t bus American’s in to work there. I’m sure Mexicans do [work there] and, if the regular people can afford to take a day off without pay well that’s their business. They’re calling it a day without Gringos. Well, more power to them, because the Mexican government will have a shit load of trouble more than they currently have now if we did finally get smart about closing our border.
I can say after hearing everything, I’m not buying Tyson chicken anymore (also others). I’m really glad that I didn’t hire those landscapers to do our yard, since I haven’t seen a single truck driving around or parked in our local market’s parking lot (they always park there at lunch time). I also read that a local homebuilder stands to lose several thousands dollars because half his staff aren’t showing up for work. Yeah, illegal immigrants don’t take jobs away citizens; who wants to do things like CONSTRUCTION anyway? Don’t give me that shit that they are supposed to clean up or something…because that doesn’t wash either…half the staff? Some housewife on some news talk station was whining that housekeeper didn’t come to clean her house today. While I agree that she should fire them, when she said they take jobs away from white people…she crossed the line. They take jobs away from anyone that goes through the trouble to be here legally. I say it’s also time for us as Americans to go after companies that encourage illegal workers by not properly checking I9 requirements. I’m sorry but just because anyone waves a SS card don’t mean that it’s actually his or hers to wave. There are ways to check but employers need to actually do that; furthermore this don’t ask and don’t tell way of doing things doesn’t work for the military and it doesn’t work where illegal immigration is concerned either. DUH. These companies are doing business fraudulently and if we are a country of laws, then they should be held accountable.
Personally I feel that we should use this time to round [the illegal] all up and drive them out in huge busses, let the Mexican government deal with them, I’m sure they’d appreciate it. Then, and I see no problem with is, take all the people that are on Welfare give them those jobs. They work or they don’t collect. PERIOD. Save the assistance for the people/families on disability and even up their benefits. They shouldn’t have to struggle so, especially when they can’t work for a legitimate reason. With all the money saved on paying out welfare checks, we could further give each person in this country free daycare for all children and after extend after school programs to keep kids off the streets.
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