Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A Word of Warning

This blog is normally rated PG-13 for bad language well, I’m about to go a strict R rating. So if you’re delicate and can’t handle hearing a rant about Dr 90210 please skip this blog at least for today. Firstly, I must apologize that I didn’t post about this on my Monday offering but I guess I was too tired to remember about it when I started it. Anyway last week sometime, maybe Friday, I was watching that Dr. 90210 show on E!, which I normally don’t watch, but was incredibly bored that night after everyone left. Kids were in bed and Rainbird was snoring in the chair, literally sucking the life out of the room.

Anyway I caught a snippet of a surgery, I paused at the channel hearing the Dr talking about how happy so and so will be with her liposuction, tummy tuck...Okay fine, whatever. Some people just have too much money to burn, but then he’s doing something between her legs and talking about how she’s had a couple babies and wanted things tightened up and going on about how he “loves working on the vagina.”

I guess one part of this woman’s pussy lips was longer than the other. Which does beg to ask, how the fuck did she know that? Did she actually look? Did her husband go down on her and tell her during oral…”you know Hun, one of your pussy lips is longer, maybe when you go in for that lipo, you can get that fixed?” All I could say was Ohmyfuckingod.

Then he takes some of the fat from her liposuction into a syringe and uses that to plump her pussy lips!!!!! Now I’m sitting at home going…what the fuck?????

Maybe I’m the strange one but I haven’t looked at my pussy since I was probably about 3 or 4, and only then because the boy up the street from me told me that my “wiener” hadn’t dropped yet. Of course I went looking for it, mostly because I’d seen his and knew I didn’t want one of those, not to mention those two other things. Even then I only looked a second or two. I doubt very seriously there was a tape measure involved in any way.

After the woman is recovering and he’s telling her that she’s now got a beautiful vagina, amongst other things and that he’d see her in a couple weeks. I didn’t keep watching to see how much she liked it, by that time I’d found something else to watch, an old rerun of Little House on the Prairie. Of course that lead to some disturbing thoughts of Ma Ingalls talking to Pa about her pussy being tighter back before she had all those kids.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I just can't really come up with something to say, although, I would love to. You have, well, left me speechless once again, although speechless because I am laughing so hard, I have tears running down my face.

The (real) Stepford Wives said...

omg! I so can't believe you wrote all that! I had to change my underwear after reading. thankx

Whimsical Ranter said...

Tracey,

Thanks for the compliment!

Whimsical Ranter said...

Hey Jamie Summers,

Oh man, does that mean what I think it does? You laughed so hard you shit your pants? I told you not to eat at Taco Time.