Where have all the Coffee Cups Gone, Signs of Spring, and the Incredible Stinking Husband

Ever since my coffee maker started overflowing on occasion I’ve been afraid to use the timer feature, but I do continue to grind the beans the night before and fill the machine. At least this way, I can kinda keep an eye on it until it’s ready to drink. However, this morning I couldn’t find a clean coffee cup to save my life—what the hell, I just ran the dishwasher so I stand, confused trying to figure out where they went. I find one in the garage, likely the cup Rainbird used before he left for work, so I wash that one and fill it. I really need coffee to do any real thinking so I quickly push those thoughts out of my head as I begin to log into the computer to check my email, before I have to start running upstairs every five minutes to wake Fredo.

When Piss-boy got home from school, before Rainbird had returned, I put him to work in the back yard, picking up the dog shit that’s accumulated there. Piss-boy really hates picking up the shit but did it without grumbling too badly, guess he’d rather pick it up when the weather is still chilly than when it’s 90 degrees outside. I got Fredo busy not only watching Piss-boy but raking leaves, which seems to be a job that must be done from Fall until Spring. I set to work washing all the windows I could reach, and the deck furniture so that we’re ready to go by springtime.

Anyway, while we were all outdoors, we caught a glimpse of the budding springtime. Not only are the birds returning, but also plants are starting to grow like my butterfly bushes, and I’m getting blossoms on the trees. Its like a surprise, the coming of Springtime, after the long, cold, dead winter, seeing plants you wondered if you’d have to replace them, suddenly come back to life. Though some plants I gather weren’t so lucky, such is the case with the large Azalea in front of the house that gave us cause for concern before winter last year. I think it’s finally had enough, that plant from the look of it, and I’m not sure what we’ll do about it since it’s part of pair. We could remove both the plants, and replace them both with something, or, we could try to move the one off to the side, to a more center-point. I’m not sure what if anything we’ll do about it, but one thing I do know is that we need to do something about the two large trees like things in front of the house. I’m not a huge fan of ornamental trees, you know the type with the fancy balls on them that cost more in upkeep than they do to plant them in the first place. We have two now that are nearly 15 feet tall, actually one is shorter than the other and that bugs me also (my OCD is showing).

Then I went upstairs to do my Kitchen Sink Soup for dinner, in case you’re not familiar with it, it’s a soup made from everything in the cabinet/fridge. I start with the trinity, onions, celery, and carrots cooking those until they’re translucent, and then start adding containers of chicken stock (it’s usually frozen which reminds me I have to make more). Once that gets boiling, I start adding cans of things or frozen veggies, stirring in a little pasta or something in the end. I don’t like things I have to spend all day cooking and I always look for shortcuts in my meals.

I have this habit of freezing left over herbs, that I normally buy on a weekly basis, so left over parsley, rosemary, and thyme normally ends up in the freezer and I use that for stock, along with any veggies that are in the process of turning from usable to bad. Which might bring me to the condition right now of my freezer but not even I want to go there, but after spending a long time hunting for frozen red peppers I just KNOW were in there, I know I’ll need to reorganize it. Speaking of Rosemary, I think it’s time to move the plants back out onto the deck outside again and probably give them a good watering. It’s also time I gather to start shopping for herbs to buy, oh how I wish I could grow Basil here (couldn’t grow it either when I lived in the Bay Area in California as well). Oh, maybe now that they’ve taken out all those trees we’d get enough sunlight to give it a try, last year I tried and it failed miserably.

In any event what the hell was wrong with his ass last night because I woke up with watering eyes, and gagging, I thought we’d had a terrorist attack (okay I was half asleep and not thinking clearly), until I heard clearly the sound of his stomach rumbling and gurgling, followed by the characteristic lifting of the ass off the bed and loud passing of gas. GAS is the word for it, reminding me of Pacific Gas and Electric commercials they used to show on TV talking about the rotten egg smell they add to Natural Gas to make people not want to stay around it. It was definitely the kind of smell that made you worry that some small creature was indeed decomposing under the bed. As he sat up in bed I carefully quizzed him on what all he’d eaten while he was out having fun and drinking beer all day. Okay that comment about drinking beer all day was sarcastic but it’s 3AM for crying out loud, also I knew my soup couldn’t have caused such a violent reaction because I’m very careful since we do share a bed, not to feed him things I know will make myself miserable. The confessions begin about how he’d eaten some chilidogs and other such crap and going on about how great they were. Well, they sure as hell don’t seem so great now, I remind him as I’m trying to figure out a way to escape the smell that doesn’t involve me unplugging the alarm clock and trying to figure out how to reprogram it once I get all settled into the guest room. Instead, I covered my nose with a blanket, grateful that it was stuffy, and tried to go back to sleep, while Rainbird went downstairs to search for antacid.