Where I'm from and where I am now

This is where I was from...

You Know You're From The San Francisco Bay Area When...

You go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.

You can drive 15 miles north, South or East of the City and hit 100 degree temperatures, but in San Francisco the predicted "high" temp is 63.

Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.

You spend more time in your office and car than in your house.

You stop asking how much things cost, but instead ask "how long will it take?"

You know where Woz Way, Resistor Avenue, and Floppy Drive are located.

You know who and where Woz is.

You know that 280 North goes west and that 680 North goes east.

It rained ... and the spiders came in ... and the ants came in ... and the mice came in.

You realize that even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on PowerPoint.

None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.

You get email from a co-worker at 10:00PM ... and you are both still in the office.

Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.

You get the same off-color email joke from 17 people in the same hour, and one of them is your spouse.

Your "personal shopper" has become engaged to your "career coach".

You know that "taking the Nerd Bird" means you're flying to L.A ... for the 3rd time in a week.

You recently built your children their first "tilt-up" concrete playhouse.

You bought stock in Starbucks just for the free chocolate-covered coffee beans.

You bought stock in Webvan just because you hate going to the market and were pissed off when the company went under because no one could shop there.

You make $120,000 a year, yet still can't afford a place to live.

Your combined household income is $150,000 and you can't afford shoes for the kids

You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood

You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or Starbuck

You met your neighbors once

When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance

Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay

You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an 'old-timer'

You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer

You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor

Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter

You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $60 a week on gas

Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies

The median price of a house is $500,000...for 1000 sq. ft. with no yard because it's a town house

You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America on a boat

Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home

You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the airport in commute hours

You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer

You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world, but don't because it would be difficult to move back.

You have at least three computers at home.

You own at least one domain on the Internet, probably several.

You think it's normal to see chip-design software or relational databases advertised on freeway billboards.

You know that California isn't just one big beach.

You know that not everyone in California surfs.

You know there's lots of skiing in California.

You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts.

If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know what they're talking about.

You take your out-of-town friends to see the techie gadgets at Fry's. But you don't let them buy anything.

You know how to recognize re-sealed returned electronics at Fry's.

You don't ask the staff any questions at Fry's. You know they hire idiots and pass the savings on to you.

You watch dot-com boomers go back to the states they came from, and the traffic gets better by the month. But you are home so you're not moving.

You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends.

You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you visit the mountains.

You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools.

You think bicycles don't belong on the road.

You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road.

Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make... until you tell them how much you pay for housing.

You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars.

Or the half-million dollar price-tag is for the land that condemned house sits upon.

You do a "California stop" at stop signs. And you think it's only Californians who call them that.

You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them. But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you.

You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit.

You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake.

You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first.

You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the 101". It's just "101". No "the".

You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the ground.

At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And you froze your little *@#!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind.

You say you're from Silicon Valley because no one knows where San Jose is.

You understand the meaning of the term Oracle Mile.

You wonder why the traffic always backs up in Millbrae on 101 South.

You cringe when you hear out of towners say the names of cities or worse call San Francisco "Frisco".

And this is where I live now.


You know you're from the Pacific Northwest when...

1. You know the state flower (mildew)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain, waiting for the'WALK' signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle 's Best, and Venetos'.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Issaquah , Oregon , Yakima and Willamette.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark... - while only working 8-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's Forecast: showers followed by rain." AND by "Tomorrow's Forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."

18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind!

20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

21. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boot and parka.

23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

26. You knew immediately that the view out of Fraziers' window was fake.

27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

28. You measure distance in hours.

29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

30. You use a down comforter in the summer.

31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.

32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
33. You get into arguments with your spouse over Seattle's Best and Peets.

34. You can root for the Beavers without snickering.

35. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, winter, still raining (spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

36. Your amazed that nearly everyone you meet was born in California.