Ugh

Fredo moaned this morning when I woke him up that he didn't want to go to school. He told me that he won't go. I ignored the comment and got him up anyway. Rainbird and I had a lengthy talk last night about him and we decided to use positive reinforcement, which means that if I get a good report from his teacher, he can play the game cube for a while today--since that's what he really likes. I've also decided that he may watch TV when he gets home from school until I hear from his teacher. If she says that he misbehaved then the cartoons are shut off, and no game cube. I hate being this way but I have to. I don't know what else to do with him.

I couldn't sleep well last night, just very tired and wish there was a way to make him understand but there is not. It pains me greatly to see him like this and know that he doesn't understand why it's important for him to try to do something in school. I'm supposed to be reading to him each day for 15 minutes and he refused--why does everything have to be such a struggle?

With Fredo, there are always more questions than answers. I wish he had potty-trained younger, then he could have started pre-school earlier; I wish I had never let him watch TV at all, but I thought it wasn't fair to his brother. I should have pushed harder when he was younger.

It's my fault.