Alone At Target

Well not alone, there were other shoppers there but Rainbird should know better than to send me there, sans children, for one thing at 8 AM when the place opens. I’m greeted at the door by my personal shopper, who begins to tell me which of all the good stuff I would normally buy is on sale, and I will admit it’s a little unnerving knowing that I shop there that often. So, I start like a cat on the prowl going down the Spring/Easter aisle, which leads me down the snack aisle, where I find treats for the boys, Piss-boy and Fredo, ending up in cleaning supplies, where I spend the most time. I finally got the Swiffer Duster™ with the extendable wand, I will admit that I’m kinda bummed that it only extends three-feet, but I figured I’d give a shot. I also picked up some more of those Pledge® Multi Surface Wipes and if you’ve never tried them, I highly recommend that you do. I use them nearly exclusively in Piss-boy’s bedroom and they do wonders; I also got the regular cleaning supplies but they aren’t nearly as exciting.

Then I headed down the towel aisle, and pondered buying new bath towels but passed because I wasn’t thrilled completely with the color choices. I’m very picky about towels. It was there I passed a man shopping with two kids, saying to them about he goes in for one thing, finds it within minutes and leaves the store with just that one thing. He was telling his daughter (?) with him that she shouldn’t spend time looking at anything else, because it could lead to impulse buying. Even she gave him a sad, pitiful look. I should mention that my cart by now was nearly full of “impulse buys” but I kept going down the toy aisle, finding a letter game for Fredo and adding that to the cart.

I should also mention that I had two gift cards, presumably given to the children by likely my grandmother for school clothes but I don’t buy their school clothing at Target in the first place so I figured I’d use them to pay for the “impulse buys”. Why is it though, when I get to checkout line, I forget to use them? I begin loading the bags into the cart, grumbling under my breath about how everything fit better before they put everything into bags, as I begin stacking them. I don’t like to put things under the cart unless I really have to because I always seem to forget things there. In any event, I see the lady who gave me the heads up on the sale items as I’m leaving the store, and she asked me if I found everything okay, which I nod in reply, yes. I go out the car and start loading up the 12 bags of items I purchased for just under $200.

Should I mention I only went in for a pair of sweat pants for Rainbird?

Daylight Savings Time; Government Conspiracy?

What is the point of Daylight Savings time anyway; didn’t when it was enacted all those years ago have something to do with farmers in our nation’s breadbasket? The extra hour of daylight allowed them to work longer. Big fucking deal! Today the American Farmer is basically gone, given way to fully automated conglomerates of farms and I’m sure they have the technology to harvest in complete darkness. Anyway, how many people actually live on Farms today?

Last night, the boys went to bed an hour later than normal because my internal clock is screwed up, thankyouverymuch. And I heard somewhere that we won’t be getting that hour back now until November, what the fuck? To save energy? Guess, what I’ll probably be wasting more energy because, I now need to have lights on when I get up in the morning and likely those will remain on all day anyway…what the fuck am I going to save? A few dollars? Who gives a shit especially since that will be wasted because I'm forgetting to turn off lights in the morning.

Now, I’m not one of those genius’ in Washington DC, but I really think it’s time to consider not changing the clocks at all, and if needed, make Daylight Savings Time, the Standard Time for everyone. We can all laugh to our Grandchildren about the days when people were stupid enough to change their clocks. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The Press & Hollywood

When did Hollywood start calling couples cutesy names, blending together their names like Bradalina, Bennifer, etc? When did this practice become popular—What fucking member of the press started that piece of shit idea? Imagine for just a moment it’s 50 years ago and the hot couple de jour is Frank Sinatra and Rita Hayworth, and I wonder if today’s press would have dubbed them Frankita? Would Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward be called Paulanne? Weird shit when you stop to think about it.

© 2006