Dear Santa
Here is mine. Try your own, it's fun.
Dear Santa,
I have been a good Girl .
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Anita's Christmas party. It was Cindy who spiked the punch with too much Tequila. I can't help it if I drank 5 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like egg nog.
I thought it was funny when I put Amy Ann's Bra on my head and danced the The Hustle on the Chair while singing `Play That Funky Music'. I didn't mean to break Anita's blow-up man with remote and don't know why Anita would sue me for Indecent exposure.
I don't remember calling Ross's wife a bitchy pig---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Red lipstick!
And when I threw up on Melanie's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that hot dog.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Porsche through my neighbor's Bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a idiot Cow and have me arrested for Reckless Driving!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all sad and dark. And I'm really not to blame for any of this useless stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and fuck yours,
Kelly (Really a nice Girl !)
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