Are All Men Created Stupid?

Last night, after a larger than normal dinner out with "folks" we returned home and settled into our somewhat warm house. Okay, we were huddled together (including the dog) trying avoid the apparent effect of hypothermia coupled with a heavy meal, when Rainbird gets off his ass and goes to the fridge.

I wonder briefly why he's looking through the refrigerator, when I hear him ask, "Dear, where's the sausage I bought today?"

I cringe at the use of the word "Dear" afterall, I do have a name but that's another post for another time. I called back to him telling him it's in the fridge and he quickly replies that two of the three pounds of sausage he bought are in there, but the third package is missing. I told him maybe it fell behind, but I was sure it was there, he claimed to have looked and said rather frantically, it's not there. "Don't make me get up." I called back as though I were talking to one of the kids, and minutes later I'm walking into the kitchen because he's raising his voice. I look behind the milk and there is the package of sausage and yes it had fallen from one of the upper shelves.

Now this is truly an old argument of "if it was a snake it would have bit me," as any mom of young children can certainly relate to as they searched endlessly through the house searching for the blankie-piece that's was misplaced because a pillow was moved. We learn quickly to search under things, even (gasp) shaking out blankets to make sure whatever it is isn't stuck in the blanket. Do men do this? No, they scan the room quickly and if they can't find the remote in the first scan they cry for help.

To further confound this perplexing notion, my Rainbird is color blind...Or at the very least unable to see the color navy blue. To wit, he calls today asking for me to take his blue-pinstriped suit to the cleaners. I inform him he has no such suit and he insists that he does. I figure I'm mistaken, so, I go looking through the closet, one side and down the other and NO navy blue suit. He's got a black pinstriped suit, so I wonder if my eyes are playing tricks on me, so I put some navy blue socks by it, and sure enough the suit is black.

He comes home briefly, after several phone calls back and forth insisting that he does have a blue suit.

He said it goes with the shoes. "What shoes?" I ask.

He shows me a box with black shoes inside and I say, "those are black."

No he argues, "they're blue."

I sigh wearily as I take out the navy socks and put them next to the black shoe and snidely ask, "does this match?"

He admits it doesn't. He examines the box, and shows me indeed the box reads color: blue.

I query, "where did you get those shoes?"

He explains he bought them at the same time he got the suit, because he told the sales person he needed navy blue shoes...What the hell ever gave him that idea?

At least the sales person was smarter than he was, the shoes are black, and the box was for just a regular pair of tennis shoes in navy blue, which would also explain why the box reads "canvas." I just wonder how much he paid for them?