So Much For an Extra Hour of Sleep

Changing the Clocks or Where is that Fucking Manual?

I'll admit when it comes to putting things together, Rainbird is my man, especially when it comes to making a stereo work. He'll spend hours fiddling with it making sure his equalizer that he's had since High School (read: 25 years) sounds incredible. But if it has a clock, or can be programmed for something, it falls under my realm of the world. Rainbird couldn't program a VCR let alone figure out how to change the time on the thermostat. Honestly I'm grateful that time on Cell phones is automatically set because damn, he can barely take a picture with his cell.

So, I had a feeling I'd have trouble changing the time on the TEAC CD X9 he bought me last year because he programmed the time, and he changed the time when the time change came around last April. It should be noted he also lost the manual. So, it's 1:30 AM on Sunday morning and I have EVERY light on downstairs playing with the remote control trying to figure out how to set the time. Repeatedly pressing the memory/time set button with no results. Searching through drawers trying to locate the missing manual, and wasted 45 minutes online trying to find one there. I could buy one manual online on EBAY for $12.00 but that wouldn't help me NOW; would it?

Finally, I sit on the sofa, an exhausted thoroughly pissed-off mess, and turn it off, when a light went on in my head. While it was still off I hit the Memory/time set button and everything begins to flash. I roll through and it sets the time. It can't be that easy and turn the machine on then off again, but the new correct time is still there. I sigh, relieved and content now that the manual can just remain lost until the next time I need to do something more complicated than turning on the Tuner or Playing a CD.

Well this Takes The Cake

If you watch the show then show Little People Big World on TLC than you might already know that the little boy (non-dwarf) was seriously injured in a pumpkin catapult accident. He had to have emergency brain surgery and is in serious condition (which is hospital speak for could go either way). Well now the people that live around their farm in rural Oregon are not gathering around the family during this tragedy but instead saying that it was their fault, and something should have been done long ago about them…blah, blah, blah.

Speaking of Cake Taking

Apparently Heather Mills takes the cake too when she left her daughter's birthday party. Paul McCartney took their daughter and Heather took the left over cake.

One must have their priorities.

Speaking of Priorities

Freak Michael Jackson is accepting yet another award that he likely paid for. Last I had heard he was living in Saudi Arabia or something like that, but now I guess he's living in Ireland. He will of course appear to accept his award (cough, cough). It should be noted that this is a invite only awards show, so the only fans present will be the ones hand picked and planted by MJ's people.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

It's Better This Way

A Kick in the Ass

Yesterday, was a very rough day but in the clearing skies, I've also seen a clearing in my thoughts. Fredo might have autism, but I'm sure there are probably hundreds of parents out there that wish their children are as functional as he is. He has a lot of things going for him and I'm not letting the little things trip us up anymore.

We are so Fucking Mean

All of us regarding Fredo's issues case in point, last night while Rainbird was eating dinner I was explaining to him the way IEP works (as I know it) and mentioned the words, "Special Ed". It should be noted the boys were on the sofa watching Spongebob but each time I said the words, "Special Ed," a certain voice on the sofa without missing a beat said, "YaY!"



Each time Rainbird nearly choked and blew eggs out his nose, it wasn't a pretty sight. Once we get used to an idea of something we're a family of mean assholes with a sick and twisted sense of humor.

She Said, the World Said

I guess I have to weigh in on the idea of bored Hollywood buying babies in Africa or anywhere else for that matter. I don't know for certain but hasn't Hollywood had a long and rich history of buying babies? I mean, Joan Crawford actually adopted more than the two featured in the film but if you only watched the film you'd never know that. Actually they also said nothing bad happened to Christina…but I digress. This is not about an over-the-hill out of the spotlight celebrity beating a child with a wire coat hanger.

This is about an over-the-hill mostly out of the spotlight celebrity buying a baby under the guise of building a school or someshit that will serve to teach the pseudo-religion Kabbalah. I don't care if she buys one baby or a thousand, I don't care if she started this process two weeks ago or two years. I don't really give a crap what she does, and frankly why should the world be getting their panties in a bunch over this.

There are so many more important things to get your panties in a bunch over, another loud-mouth broad on The View whining that Law and Order used a name close to her own in an episode. I guess she actually called the producer or something on the phone and browbeat the bastard over it. Considering I don't know whom the fuck this woman is and really don't give a shit it seems much ado about nothing.

Finally Rush Limbaugh again broke a Godfather rule and blurted out when he should have listened and accused Michael J Fox of faking his Parkinson's. Some on the right are shaking their heads but the ones on the left are just being nasty about it. Come ON people! Limbaugh is drugged out jackass! I'm not going to listen to his opinion any more than I'm going to pay attention to those nuts protesting military funerals, Cindy Sheehan, Pat Robertson, or Sean Hannity. If you're interested you can google his name and see how he's attempting damage control by saying that the media is manipulating MJF.

I'm sorry, but I do agree that we should pursue stem cell research regardless of what other idiots might think.


© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Let the Blame Begin

As I sat in the First Grade classroom it quickly became apparent that this wasn't going to be a "normal" parent teacher conference. I had hoped, but those hopes were soon dashed when the special Ed teacher walked into the classroom. Those dashed feelings were only a fleeting warm memory as the teacher explained that they believed Fredo has Autism and passed a questionnaire across the table. I guess from that point on I had a hard time focusing on what to say or which emotion to pull from.

One thing that did stand out in my mind during the meeting was usage of the word "label." No one actually spoke the word Autistic or Autism; they just talked about the fact that we'd be "labeling him." Is the label really a bad thing? If I were a juggler wouldn’t want to be labeled as such and be entitled to rights and privileges. Or is this different? Will a label of Autism sentence him to a life of special Ed, with no hope of ever getting out? If he had only two legs I wouldn't hesitate "labeling" him a paraplegic. Why am I having such a difficult time with this?

Silly me, I thought I'd be relieved. Maybe I'm learning more about myself during this process than I'd care to see. Maybe I'm just seeing all my failings and areas I just didn't do enough, and I know I'm just as frustrated with all this as Rainbird is. He did a wonderful job of blaming me by pointing out each time I have made things easier on Fredo. How many times have I said for Rainbird to just take the older one somewhere instead of both? Too many I suppose but not because Fredo was too difficult it was more about Piss-boy deserving a good time. That was why I told Rainbird not to take Fredo camping over the summer. I asked myself at which point do we start punishing the older child by trying to teach the younger a lesson. I guess my answer was as usual wrong.

Maybe it's just the word "Autism" that conjures up images of Rainman and someone flawlessly playing the piano. Savants are rare I'm learning, so it's likely that my Fredo won't have any special talents. Guess we'd better cancel those tickets to Vegas.

I promise tomorrow's blog will be about a much lighter subject.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Busy Weekend and Busier Week Ahead

Good Food, Good Beer and Bad Carbs

I love it when people come to visit because it allows Rainbird and I, though begrudgedly, to go off our diet and eat and drink crap we're not supposed to. For example, Friday I had chicken fried steak and eggs and it was hardly carb worthy but it kind of set the tone for the whole day. After that, eating the elephant ear and drinking a beer (not at the same time) didn't seem nearly as bad. Neither did the mashed potatoes I pretended to pick at until they were all gone that evening at dinner.

Two things I noticed upon eating lots of carbs, Rainbird was back to taking really stinky shits in the morning and I waking up during the night with god-awful (note: not just awful but god-awful) heartburn. Today, it's right back on program…yes, really, our guest is gone, and our excuses have run out. Protein and salad for at the very least a week and doesn't that sound exciting?

Busy Week

It's fall clean-up time around here when I rotate all the clothes and make the kids go through their rooms, to of course to make room for the new stuff they'll surely acquire for the holidays. Today, Fredo needs to go to the dentist, we all need to get flu shots, and it's parent teacher conference day from hell. I'll probably need to get to the market and pick up a few things.

More to Come

I'm running out of time, so I'll either update this later or post tomorrow.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Obladi, Oblada Life Goes On...Ohhhh

When Did Everyone Get So Stupid?

I don't have a large extended family, really just a few aging people; my husband Rainbird is different, with his family size much larger. My family, the old ones (keyword: OLD) think they know everything. Now years ago (keyword: Long fucking time), gift certificates were on paper and good for a few months or maybe a year after they were issued. That changed more than a decade ago in California when the state Supreme Court determined that gift certificates could NEVER expire (key phrase: as long as there is a California).

Now this brings you to my family, who all do still reside in California, but are also convinced it's 1948 instead of 2006. Case in point, I gave my grandma a gift card for her birthday this year (a dollar per year…pretty clever of me, huh?) and she never used it. She was afraid to because she didn't understand that she could just take it somewhere [read: ANY FUCKING PLACE VISA is accepted] and use it. It was active, I know this because the receipt I had said so.

I talked to her today and she tells me that she called the company and they're sending her a check for 40 dollars…I ask her what for and she said that's all the card was worth. I asked her if she bought anything. She said no. So, what the fuck is going on. I ask her for the number on the card, she gives me her regular credit card number. Like a big fucking stupid I call the company prepared to bitch them out, when I realize they know nothing because it's a regular Visa number.

I call Grandma back, and come to find out that she threw it away because she had too long and some fucking genius in my family said it wouldn’t' work anymore. This is coming from the same people that keep calling and say things like, "I didn't know Hawaii had earthquakes." When I tell them that they have them here too,

This is coming from the same people that keep calling and say things like, "I didn't know Hawaii had earthquakes." When I tell them that we have them here too, they argue with me, telling me that they've never heard of earthquakes up here. Well jeeze that's a big fucking load off for me because if they've never heard of earthquakes in the Pacific Northwest, obviously they've never fucking occurred.

Am I Missing Something?

I'm not one to defend anything the material one does, but if Bradelina can adopt an African baby and the child's father has no issue, why is there a fuss? Are they worried that more weathly Hollywood actors will go to Africa and adopt orphaned children? Maybe Dan or Tracey has posted something about this to enlighten me.

This Just Isn't Me

I don't mind cleaning, except when Rainbird gets on my ass about it after a couple grimy stairs comments, I cleaned them. Then he started bitching about other crap and the next thing I know I'm cleaning out drawers and getting rid of old clothing. Why? Well because he wanted me do other things and I figured if I clean out my dresser drawers I'd have more room for clothes. Of course that will require shopping. What is strange about all this, is that I'm starting to enjoy cleaning. I don't know if that is the right way of wording it but I'm afraid it's a way to stave off boredom, but that said, I can't help to feel that somehow Rainbird is winning.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Tuesday Rambles

Regarding Fredo

They're finally going to test him and give him the help he needs, I suspect it will involve taking the short bus to school but I'm not going to worry about that now. I just hope it doesn't take half the year to figure it out.

Piss-boy is home from school today with a cold and I frankly I was playing around with this and didn't get Fredo up in time to take the bus by his self. I really think he would have gone too. I told him that he'll be riding the bus home by himself this afternoon and hopefully that will go well for him. All Fredo wants is to be "tall" and I wish it were that easy for him.

I don't remember thinking that if I were taller I'd be smarter but somehow Fredo believes that.

Holiday Shopping

We drove 40 miles to the outlet stores and Rainbird turned me loose, I guess he figures that I'm not really spending money if it's for a holiday. I got gifts for his parents, gifts and assorted friends and co-workers. His place of work is weird they buy each other pet gifts…because everyone has dogs. I swear dogs here are HUGE, everyone has one, and that let them know that he was okay because he had one. Thank goodness we didn't have a cat, because the last cat person was removed from the group so to speak and transferred to no man's land. I also got a couple things for Rainbird (and made him carry them store to store). He never once looked in the bag. LMAO!

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

After Last Week, What's Next?

Recovery

So, there I am standing in Powell Books staring looking for the Atkins book when I come across the sex section. The books on the Position of the Day and Kama Sutra looked interesting but I only stayed a moment afraid someone would think I’m a pervert or something. Then I found the book I wanted and lingered amongst the other diet books when something across the isle caught my eye. A huge book on home organization! Wow! What a find. Actually I was looking at the Anxiety workbook next to it but I couldn't let anyone know that I have panic attacks.

I ended up buying 6 books, telling myself I’m just stocking up on reading material for the winter and yes, the anxiety workbook was on the bottom of the pile. Three diet books, and one decorating book, and one organizing book all to cover up for the anxiety book. Maybe I should apply for a job there, I'll bet you can tell a lot about people by the books they buy.

Who's Your Daddy?

Wonder if that Maury Povich nimrod will offer to do a show for Anna Nicole Smith? I guess her personal photographer [Read Paid Stocker] is claiming he's the daddy, and the lawyer is claiming that he is too. I'll bet it was the bum [read old homeless guy] she did while rocking on trimspa [read cocaine].

Wanna cyber?

Those are words that I'm sure a certain republican is regretting he ever spoke. A/S/L is probably more. I hear he had the hots for interns, but at least Bill chased the legal ones in skirts, not the underage ones in trousers. Then he blamed it because he was abused and I'm sick to death of hearing people say…oh it's not my fault blah blah blah…In this case fill in the blahs with a Priest touched my wanker. First if it's just an excuse for showing lack of character (which I seriously suspect it is) it's an insult to anyone that has really suffered abuse and no excuse for anyone just to take up because they were caught. Second, if it is true he knew he had issues and was fully aware they were wrong and chose to ignore them until [again] he was caught.

I say string him up and let the bugs eat him.

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

I spent the day yesterday trying to update to a new browser and get a new email program working. Things will be back to normal next week. I'm thinking of working on something for Friday as long as my computer continues cooperating. Look for a new Name That Tune coming soon.

© 2006 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved