Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

I'm just not feeling well today, I've been very thirsty, my head feels like it's 3 times bigger than it should be, my nose and throat are itchy. Yes, I've caught a cold, probably from one of the little boogers I live with. The kids have been snotty (literally, not figuratively) off and on now weeks and they've finally passed it on to me.

Oregon Governor Attempts to Garner Support for Food Stamp Issues

The Governor of Oregon is doing the unthinkable trying to eat well on $21.00 a day! If people can travel on 40 dollars a day it actually sounds fairly reasonable that people can eat well at home for 20 dollars a day. An average family of four could expect a little more than 600 per month just to spend on groceries (21x30=630). Hell, ever since I started seriously examining what we've been spending on groceries in the past, I've been trying to stick to 500 a month. If I really dedicate myself to this number I find I can do it, but it requires careful planning and eliminating all extra trips to the store for no real reason. So, if I stick to my budget I can't just walk into the store in need of milk and walk out with 60 dollars of crap.

Maybe the Oregon Governor is onto something? In the clip I saw on TV his wife had provided him with a shopping list, which included 'organic' bananas'. I'm sorry but that speaks volumes for his wife's ability to save money since 'organic' bananas are a complete waste of money, when you consider their thick inedible skins. If you're really concerned about chemicals on your fruits and veggies, then do a little research first before you start throwing away money.

Well Duh

A couple weeks ago, my older son came home from school and proclaimed that he was told, "condoms don't work." I was aghast and couldn't believe that was what said to him, but upon further questioning it turned out that was his take on it when they explained they "don't always work."

I had to have the difficult talk that went into much more detail than the school did and I was surprised how well the talk went. I explained that condoms are 97% effective when used correctly and even went into a little detail on how to know if they're working right. He also confided they talked a lot about "abstinence," which I'm all for as long as it is in the proper context. Which from what I can gather, this wasn't. They talked about saying no to sex the same way in the 80's they talked to me about saying no to drugs and we all know how well that worked out. Talking just abstinence and telling students half the facts like 'condoms don't always work' is just wrong to me. I guess now studies have proven that abstinence only programs don't work and kids just as likely to have sex. Well duh!

It reminds me of the Just Say No campaign in the 80's when they sent a survey for students to fill out about their personal drug use. The "survey" had just a few yes or no answers and most required that you write out answers. Anyone in high school that had forgotten to write their name on something knew the teacher had a clue what your handwriting looked like or what your writing style was. Plus my teacher that handed out the 'survey' was kinda narkish. Yeah, I lied on it and so did everyone else I knew. How else could you explain the government poll that showed drug use in teens had dropped? Ask them questions in a non-anonymous way and maybe the anwers would be different.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Sorry I'm Running Late Today

It's been one of those days so instead of boring everyone with the details, I'll just start right in with things that are annoying me, just a little bit.

Alec Baldwin: Frustrated Dad, Idiot, or Both

The whole Alec Baldwin incident has people clamoring to take sides and we all know how the media loves to take sides. I decided that I'd chime in with my two cents on the subject as long as everyone else is weighing in. My opinion is that I was a little surprised that his rep or himself didn't release a statement indicating a second message of apology to his daughter. And this to me, which the media has missed completely, is the real issue because it speaks volumes of his real character as a person.

As a parent there has been many times that I've said things to my children and immediately wished I could put the genie back into the bottle and take back whatever I said. Those are times I would apologize for my harsh words and all quickly forgets the matter. Any parent that says otherwise is either lying or don't have tween/teens yet, aren't the child's main caregiver or are trying to be the child's friend like some other pseudo psychology bullshit. I say this because caring parents do lose control now and again and I'm sure even Dr Phil has on occasion said something that he wished he hadn't to his children. The problem is we weren't being taped while saying it. We've all done it, and we've felt badly afterward. Period!

Now if Alec Baldwin's rep or toady does a google search of his name, and comes across my blog they might be hitting themselves in the head right about now going, "d'oh." Why didn't he call back even an hour later and say he was sorry to his daughter? If he did why didn't he say so.

Snow White or the Evil Witch?

I really have to wonder if Kim Basinger didn't leak the tape herself, how much did she pay to have someone else do it for her? Wonder what the going rate is for keeping your hands clean in front of a judge? The tape it seems was played during a court custody hearing, which to me at least, implies that the message isn't a recent as the media led everyone to believe. Of course the media is throwing the new word it learned during the whole Imus scandal "misogynistic" and believe me I just love it when the media learns a new word and uses it every chance they get.

What is Harsh?

Okay Alec Baldwin called and his daughter a pig and the whole world heard it but is that really harsh to say? I've heard pundits up and down saying how horrible it is to say that so it got me thinking what is harsh? I think it very much depends on the child in question, for example a parent saying that they're disappointed in them might crush a soft-spoken child that strives for perfection. It doesn't have to be, "you fucking idiot" or "you pig," to hurt a child, it can be any words. It just depends on the personality and temperament of the child. I don't know their child, nor does the media…I think everyone should shut up on this.

On To Fluffier Things

Has everyone seen the Twix Candy commercial where the kid is meeting his girlfriend's mother for the first time and drops is Twix into the laundry basket and pulls out the mom's granny panties? Does anyone think that commercial is funny? I think it would be much better if she said, "you know those clothes are dirty." Of course only after he's shoved the candy bar into his mouth.

Ever Wonder?

About television shows and how some are even on the air at all? How does VH1, which has switched from music programming to reality show garbage nearly 24/7 stayed on the air? They show the most dumbshit shows of caliber one would expect from E! Network. I caught a few minutes of I Love New York, which I assume was a final episode or something because this woman was ranting about some guy that she picked out, and I gather bashed repeatedly throughout the show and was surprised when he dumped her. I just don't understand that. What contrived drama crap that was and I'm glad I only saw a few minutes of it. Celebrity Fit Club is another piece of crap show that I don't understand. Add to it all the celebrity shows, which are nothing more than glorified gossip and several hosted by Robin Leach or a sound a like that spanks of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

Then you have the counterpart MTV which aside for Trick My Ride has nothing else to offer either. What is this Sweet 16 crap anyway? I saw one where the girl (and I mean girl) was whining that she wanted 2 cars for her birthday and got them???? What the hell is that about? Is it any wonder kids today are fucked up in the head? Why is MTV giving these brats any forum? They've done nothing to deserve it, kinda like Paris Hilton.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

I Read the News [Again], Oh Boy

A Sad Day For Women, Even if They Don't Believe It Yet

What can I say about the US Supreme Court decision today effectively telling women that they have no choice when faced between their life and the life of their unborn? Many conditions that affect pregnancy from Eclampsia, to Uncontrolled Gestational Diabetes can result in making that very difficult decision. Giving birth to an infant at 22 weeks, and putting that defenseless creature through hell under the guise of trying to save its life. There is no medical replacement for the womb and until MEN can develop one they should really stay out of the discussion. Certainly the Supreme Court has no business weighing in on a decision that really should be left to the attending Physician. Which is by definition, someone qualified to practice medicine. Not a license to practice law.

We're Obviously Dealing With a New Generation

With all the video taping of horrible crimes and posting them on places like Youtube and MySpace, it should come as little surprise that the gunman involved in the VATec shootings sent information to NBC apparently after he killed the first two people but before he went on a rampage in the other building. Naturally NBC handed the writings over to the police who can hopefully find some insight into why this jackass could commit mass murder.

I hope the contents are never released to the media, but instead if any information can be gleaned handed over to the families of those murdered, should they want to see them. I just don't want this murderer glorified by anyone else in death. He's gotten quite enough lip service.

Well crap, I was going to post all this yesterday but started feeling rather ill and never did. This morning my MIL informed me that some of the families of the victims were supposed to appear on NBC's Today show but backed out because of NBC deciding to release those very tapes. GOOD FOR THEM! I stand by my comment the jackass is dead, we as a collective don't require to know why he did it, only the families of the ones he gunned down do.

The Good Sense God Gave a Goose or Maybe NBC is Really Run By 13 year-old Boys?


How more appropriate can I get considering the last paragraph? I really have to thank my Canadian mom friend for telling me that saying, I've started using it, even in place of my normal run-of-the-mill swear words. Today, I went into the boys' bathroom to clean it up as I do each Wednesday. I normally go into the bathroom every couple days to flush the toilet and spray some RAID in there to keep the flies down. I see on the countertop where Fredo brushes his teeth the toilet plunger. Now this grossed me out on multiple levels, mostly because Rainbird stops up all the toilets in the house frequently.

In any event I've noticed my older son formerly known as Piss-boy, oftentimes lacks the good sense that God gave a goose. Maybe it's all the hormones rotting his brain, but I'm not sure that anyone can explain why he would leave a shit-riddled toilet plunger on a counter top in the bathroom. While I applaud his ability to taking matters into his own hands by plunging the toilet (of course flushing the damn thing once in a while doesn't hurt either), I just can't help but to wonder what he was thinking when he left that damn thing on the countertop but not his countertop but his brother's.

I take the nasty thing and put into his sink and wait for the boys to get home from school. Naturally nothing is said, so I go back into the bathroom, and see it once again on the counter-space beside the sink but moved again, to Fredo's counter. This time I comment asking why he moved it and he tells me that he didn't want it in HIS sink…

"Oh so it's better to put right it beside your brother's toothbrush?" And naturally, he has no answer for that, but just gives me that annoyed look. I explain to him that if he's going to leave a nasty thing like that around, to put it into his own sink. He looked at me aghast and asked why he would do that? Of course his brother's sink is a much better choice…so I quietly explained to him that if I ever found it there again, it would be going under his pillow!

Oh and yeah, he cleaned the bathroom countertops.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

I Read The News Today, Oh Boy

There Is No Nice Way of Saying This

Yes what happened at Virginia Tech was horrible and tragic for everyone involved and my heart goes out to the families of the students/facility that were injured or killed by such a senseless whack-job. But crap, do we have to have continuous 24/7 coverage and hear from someone's 3rd cousin three times removed who heard from a friend of a friend of someone that goes there????? Do we have to descend down a slippery slope, and start talking about gun control? Now, I'm all for gun control but can't people see that no amount of gun control would have prevented this tragedy? The campus has a strict no gun policy and obviously this jackass ignored it, do you think not being able to buy ammo, or the weapons legally would have stopped it? I think not.

In other news New Jersey Governor, Jon S. Corzine, who was severely injured in a car accident when the SUV was hit by another car causing it to careen into the guide rail. First it was understood that the Gov wasn't wearing his seatbelt, a simple thing that might have spared him great injury. However, many people are lulled into a false sense of security, I mean I wonder if the President wears a seatbelt when he's traveling by limo. Corzine, was not in a limo, but what appeared to be a regular SUV and he was traveling in the front seat. Now it's been discovered that he was traveling at 91 mph. That just seems a little fast to me.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

I Know It's Not Monday, but Oh Well…I’m Blogging Today

Did You Know?

It took me all day to write up that post because of all the interruptions? Anyway on today's tidbits the first going out to Comcast who is now charging so much a month extra to improve your broadband connection. So, for say 3 dollars extra (I don't know the actual amount) you can have faster Internet access. What a crock of shit that is. People are already paying for their super fast connection, why should they have to pay more to make it faster?

You can at enter to win a bucket of Tee Shirts from cotton people. Not bad considering summer is supposed to be coming. I really think spring is becoming obsolete in our new world order and fall seems to be getting shorter. They say it's time to plant perennials now but I know some of my friends on the Eastern part of the country haven't dug out thoroughly from the last snow.

American Idol?

Everywhere I go and on the news everyone is talking about that fool with hair that still hasn't been voted off the show. I won't even say his name here because I find his over-developed sense of importance annoying. Now his family and friends are riding on his coattails. The today show has had his mother, his minister and probably the person that currently washes his ass for him, since he's now so important and doesn't have time to worry about anything other than his hair. I just wonder how far he'll go and how devastated he'll be when it's over.

Disbar Him Danno

Why should it take so long for the apparently wrongly accused guys involved in the Duke rape scandal to have the charges dropped? Way back in December they dropped the rape charges? How long were those guys supposed to wait and why was it, it took the state attorney general to finally say enough was enough. The prosecutor has the power to drop the case whenever he chose…why did he wait. Well apparently he was hoping everyone would forget about it after his re-election.

What a dick. Again I don't say this often but I hope he's disbarred then lift his immunity and sue his ass for wrongful prosecution.

How Did This Happen?

It's 6:38 PM PDT, and kids are quiet, the house is cleaned, and dinner is started. We're just doing omelets tonight so it's all prep. I keep thinking…Did I forget something? Anything? Dog fed? Yup. This is so unusual and I don't know what to think about. Could I finally be getting organized or is just planetary influences?

Imus You're [Really] Fired

CBS did the deed and fired him. I can't believe every cable news channel is talking endlessly about this, It's even overtaken Ana Nicole baby daddy drama (try saying that 6 times real fast). Every news channel today was speculating will CBS fire him, will they keep him on, will he bend over and take it in the ass? Okay the last one was a bit sarcastic but you get the idea. Half the people are saying he shouldn't be fired because of freedom of speech. Others are saying that he should because he's racist and has dared to spout his racist views. So why this time?

Maybe it's Like the Oscars

When someone that deserves the Oscar after a long career, like Al Pacino for example, are they just winning for the part they played in the currant movie or are they winning more for the sum total of their work? Who couldn't think that Pacino didn't deserve the Oscar for the GodFather 1 or 2? Yet he didn't win for those, nominated, yes but won no, he won for Scent of a Woman, another good movie, but I didn't think it was that spectacular.

Maybe Imus wasn't really fired for this comment but for the sum total of other comments he's made over the years.

Bear With Me Folks; We're Going on a Ride

Remember way back when searching the web before Google? I do recall using 5 or 6 different search engines starting with Yahoo that normally had nothing but porn listed, going then to Alta Vista and so on and so forth. Then there was Google, a one-stop shop for everything searchable. Google has made its way into the American lexicon the same way Kleenex, or Band Aid brand, or Xerox did in their respective venues. To this day I don't ask for a facial tissue, I ask for a Kleenex, it can be said for an adhesive strip, or photocopy. I no longer search the web, I google it.

Technology has changed, and the world is getting information in real time rather than waiting for it to be on the news at 11. Now the next generation is YouTube and who didn't see the Michael Richards debacle on that—oh like a million times? I don't have to watch The View to hear the latest crap, I can just YouTube it and raise my blood pressure that way. Imus' comments also have been blasted recently around the globe, and it's my opinion that because of that American's notoriously short memory is lengthened. I disagree that this is really a first amendment issue, since to me it seems more capitalistic than anything else. Had sponsors kept their ads on his show, nothing would have came of it—just like when he made the comments about those tennis playing sisters. If someone can provide hard evidence that Al Sharp ton forced in anyway Proctor and Gamble to pull their ads I will gladly alter my opinion but I see no evidence as such.

Another Thing That Really Pisses Me Off

I just read that that propagandist nitwit jackass Michael Moore brought a lot of Ground Zero workers to Cuba to illustrate how much better their communist medical system is. The people were thrilled and got wonderful treatment. Yeah, if things were so fucking great there, why the hell are so many so willing to risk their lives to escape to Florida? Furthermore, with the cameras present, how can one be certain that everyone receives the same treatment? I've watched Rachael Ray's show 40 dollars a day and have eaten at some of the places she lavishly recommended, and found the food not so special. I've also seen her get specials that weren't offered to the general public on that show. It's hardly a valid example of how to save money while traveling and dining out. I suspect the medical treatment a few Americans might have received in a Communist country with a heavy agenda might be the same.

Fidel Castro has always gone out of his way to show how wonderful Cuba is, and probably jumped at the chance to entertain Michael Moore. I've got an idea, since Cuba has such great medical and the overweight Moore probably will have health issues at some point in his life, why doesn't he move there and live. I'm sure Fidel will give him a deal and I for one, will be glad to see him go.

Am I Missing Something

Another thing about the whole Michael Moore thing that pisses me off is where are the stories about American's sneaking across the board by the thousands to get into say Canada or Mexico? I don't hear a lot about American citizens sneaking into other countries and overstaying their visas. There are millions of people that come into our country illegally; do American's do this also in other countries? According to our census I would say no, everyone is pretty much accounted for…even the homeless aren't trying to sneak across into Canada. Again if a place like Cuba is such a great place to live, why do people want to leave it so badly they're willing to risk their lives for it? I must be missing something.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

No Excuses, but Lots of Reasons

I'm Not a Country Girl

I'm sorry I've been MIA lately but Spring has literally exploded around me and I'm finding that I don't like it. At the risk of alienating me further from my friends I'll proceed with my story. So, one day I'm cleaning out the under-the-sink area of all the crap that falls behind the garbage because Rainbird and Co enjoy using the can to play a Jenga. The idea being that they stack as much as possible on top of the can and whoever adds the final item that causes it to topple must empty it.

Can I Get a Latte To Go With Those Sprinkles?

So, as I said, I'm cleaning it out when I notice all these little dark things at the bottom of the cabinet. I say a prayer to my Spaghetti god, "please let those be chocolate sprinkles. No such luck they were most assuredly mouse droppings and it was gaining access through the opening behind the cabinet where the pipes come in. To make matters worse we've been yelling at the dog for hanging out by that cabinet! He sits there staring for hours and we thought he'd gone nuts, which by the way, everyone living in this house eventually goes.

Figures The Dog is the Smart One

So I frantically call Rainbird at work, then ran to the bathroom and vomited upon returning I took out a bottle of bleach, removed everything from the cabinet, donned gloves and started cleaning. Now what's really scary there wasn't enough poop there to close a restaurant but there was enough for me to freak out over. Husband gets home and finds some expandable stuff you spray, kind of looks like shaving cream but hardens. What really pissed me off is that he didn't have to buy it…We already had it! I've been telling him for a while now that I thought something was going on and that the dog doesn't normally act like that. I pointed out the area where they could OBVIOUSLY enter and he would just say to me in a condescending tone that he gets whenever I ask him to do anything around here that doesn't involve his fucking basement project, "there is no way they can get up here."

UH Huh

So meanwhile the dog is running around extremely proud of himself but he's still hanging out in that area. Naturally husband didn't put any poison back there so we would occasionally hear things, like scratching. Then silence and the dog goes back to laying on sofa at night and I breathe a silent sigh of relief.

Return of Dumbass

A week later he's back to staring at the cabinet, and I'm checking it constantly, emptying the garbage daily to avoid the Jenga mess, banging around the kitchen at night. I even left lights on, so it's obviously my fault that our extended day light savings time is a failure. After a few more weeks had passed I'm fairly confident that the dog this time is crazy, but I continue to check and find nothing.

NO! Tell Me It Isn't So

Then one day Piss-boy while putting clean silverware into the drawer tells me that he thinks there is mouse droppings in there. Sure enough we found 2 and that was enough for me, I removed EVERYTHING from all the cabinets, figuring that Jerry Mouse was climbing on the mountain of crap under that cabinet to get access to my silverware drawer and it should be noted NO food is stored there. I found a few droppings in some plastic containers, and one in my sifter so all those things were just thrown away without remorse. Everything Pyrex, metal or ceramic was washed in the dishwasher using the power wash setting and extra soap. Every cabinet was cleaned out thoroughly with bleach just in case but nothing else was found and bait was thrown under the cabinet.

You Can Say I Purged

When all was said and done, I filled one very large garbage can and three large garbage bags filled with plastic containers and other garbage I didn't want anymore. It was like moving in all over again, except without the boxes, I even went out and bought shelf paper and put that down but that was really just an excuse because I was really afraid to put anything back. Each day I would check to see if there was any new activity and found nothing, I would sweep the floor several times a day checking through the dog hair and dust looking for any trace that they had found their way into the kitchen but found nothing. The countertops were packed with all the things that should be inside and cooking was impossible, well eating was impossible too since the kitchen table was packed. I would remove everything and rotate searching for traces on the kitchen countertops, but thankfully found NOTHING.

How Do People Live Like This?

Nothing I found in my kitchen even remotely compares to what I've seen on some shows on TV but the few I found was enough to send me over-the-edge into freak-out-land. Still, I lived this way for weeks afraid to put anything back into the cabinets until everyone started rebelling against me. So, I started placing things, making sure nothing was too high under the main cabinet, in the hopes of thwarting any future ones from gaining access to the drawers above. I repurchased food that was in the other cabinet, even though I found no evidence of them, but simply because I couldn't stand the idea of eating anything wrapped up or not that came from any cabinet in the kitchen.

As I Was Saying…

In the beginning of this entry, I said I was tired of nature because no sooner did we get rid of our rodent problem, but I noticed a woodpecker stealing my Dusty Miller (plant) and carrying it away to my attic! I ran upstairs and heard it scratching around probably building a nest. So I started banging on the ceiling and it flew away, fucking A I'm at war here against nature of all kinds. A mouse might have invaded the sanctity of my kitchen but damnit all I'm not having any baby woodpeckers pecking at the inside of my house.

She Bangs, She Bangs

You'd think they'd get tired of being disturbed, but the woodpecker isn't easy to evict but I think I'm winning because I haven't heard anything for a few days now, I just have remain vigilant in this and not let them think I've forgotten about them. This morning I was assessing my Dusty Miller and decided that it will live as long as those damn birds leave it alone.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch…

Rainbird drained the hot tub, you know, our seven thousand dollar planter box and when he filled it was working fine, except one of the panels wasn't working right. He called the hot tub place and they came out to make "an adjustment" but while they were here, they noticed the power wasn't on to it. The hot tub water was heated but the circuit was tripped. Rainbird was convinced that the guy did something to it but then he noticed the lights in the basement weren't working right either. The hot tub place told us the repair guy thought there was a circuit issue with either the sub-panel or the main box in the garage.

Your Number Came Up in a Lottery; We Work Today

Rainbird promptly called an electrician we know, who said he'd come by on Saturday, the day before Easter. We were home anyway so he said fine, but then the guy called, and said that he couldn't make it because of Easter…So he said he'd come on Monday. He then called on Monday saying something came up, and he'd be here on Tuesday. Guess what happened Tuesday?

Today, Wednesday, he finally showed up. Right now they're scratching their heads and discussing breakers and other nonsense and have decided that a new junction box dealy is needed. Rainbird sends me to the hot tub place to get one, which I do, and choke back the $ 230.00 bill. That's a lot of money to spend on a glorified planter box, but of course the 7K it originally cost wasn't chicken feed either.

Back To Hating Nature

So, I'm on the deck being nosy about what Rainbird and the kid (electrician) are talking about when I hear this noise, I swear to the great Spaghetti Monster it sounded just like a prehistoric insect buzzing by my head. I freak out and turn in the direction to see a hummingbird. What the fuck? Was it looking for nectar in my ear???? I scream and it flies away, Rainbird calls up what was wrong and I said I want to move to the city because I can't take this crap anymore. He flew up the stairs to make sure I was just kidding (I'm only half kidding) and I sufficiently let him know I am not serious.

Imus You're Fired

At least from MSNBC who have pulled Imus' morning simulcast from their lineup. Personally I found Imus about as interesting as Jay Leno anyway so I could really care less. That all being said, people claim he's said similar things before, but since I don't watch his show or listen to it on the radio, I wouldn't know that for sure. He really should know better though and I don't believe that he's embarrassed about his comments. He's been on radio long enough to know to avoid foot-in-mouth disorders of all kinds. In any event Imus is somewhat a liberal good old boy, so I'm actually surprised at the fervor over his comments. Normally such fervor is reserved to conservative talk show hosts, I mean if Bill O'Reilly made a similar comment they'd be asking for his head on a platter. But if Rosie O'Donnell said them, she'd get a pass and maybe even applauded like she was when she started spouting off about Tower 9 and her "…first time in history fire melted steel..."

Here's a clue for Rosie…Steel is actually made using fire not pixies or the gas from Elmo's ass.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

I'll Be Back

Just as soon as I find my way home....