When does school start?

Or...Drop the keys and back away slowly.

Allow me to explain, I have pepper spray on my keychain. I normally keep it inside the glove box of the van but with the hot weather...I got paranoid that it might explode or something from the heat. Darling son, Fredo, was rummaging through my purse and pulled the keys out. I was at the computer and not really paying attention because most of the time, he's just going after the loose change at the bottom. I catch him out of the corner of my eye, eyeing the pepper spray.

I take the keys from him and put them back into my purse and he asked, "what's that?"

I told him, "nasty stuff you don't want to play with."

He says, "Can I show pissboy (again not his real name)?"

I answer, "No you can not, besides he's visiting Grandma."

He asks, "Well can I show him when he gets home?"

I said, "No, it's Mom's and not for you to play with?"

Then he thinks for a minute and then asks again.

Well what's it used for?

"You spray it in bad peoples eyes and I don't know if it works"--Okay I realize that I shouldn't have told him that because it's a disaster waiting to happen. I catch him again eyeing the closet where my purse is located.

"My brother is a bad person, he won't let me play in his room, can we use it on him and see if it works?"

I shake my head and move the purse high out of reach. After he goes to bed, I take the pepper spray off the keyring and hide in my unmentionable drawer I know, before you say it, how original. I picked up pissboy at grandma's and grandpa's later that afternoon, and again, he makes a fuss because Fredo was playing in his room. Fredo calls down to me and says,

"Mom get your keys and lets see if that stuff works."