I'm Still on the Fence

How Much is Your Time Worth?

I'm still mentally thinking about the landscaper and that $400 bill for a one time clean up. Mind you, that's just for the front yard. The question remains the same, do I want to pay $400 to have the landscaper clean up the front yard to their specifications or do I want to suck it up and do it myself while hoping I get it right. If I don't get it right, they'll charge me extra for the first visit. I don't want to go out there all day long, pulling weeds only to be charged on my first bill something like $300 bucks because they trimmed the plants too and picked up a few (well a lot) leaves. I'm not even complaining about the $156 dollars a month they're going to charge us for maintenance, since it's money well spent—at least for us, since neither of have the time to spend out there doing it all. I'd rather go out and do something fun with the kids, of course there is the problem since I'll be paying for this, I won't be able to afford to take the kids anywhere.

I called the landscaper in question, and they told me what they do for that 400 dollar clean up. They spray all the weeds, and trim all the plants, cleaning them up a little; basically get the yard ready for weekly service. Now I'm even less sure about this. The contract says it will take one day, but what if only takes two hours? Do they charge me less, well husband wants to know that and honestly I guess I don’t him.

I Would Like To Most Slap

The fool that came up for idea of usernames on websites for login purposes and I'm completely serious when I say I'd like to slap them. Each website today has their own login and password and each have different criteria for both. Some like to you to use your email address, while others like to annoy you with a name, which isn't really a problem unless you can't remember which you're supposed to use. Really, do I use bumblebutt@screwyou.com, or is it just bumblebutt and how the hell am I supposed to remember this?

So many websites have gone to the idea that stored passwords are evil that it's getting difficult to recall them all especially with the criteria changing seemingly daily. One website requires that the USERNAME contain at least one number in it; not the password (that requires mostly numbers and not in any order and ONE letter). I have issues with remembering my fucking phone number, how am I supposed to remember all this other crap too? Then we come to issue of multiple email accounts, somehow, without understanding how, I've got like a hundred of them! Can I ever remember which one I've used? That answer is simple, and if I could, there wouldn't be a point to this post.

I would also like to slap the people, that don't send emails to say hi, how are you, but instead use them to forward crap, like some little girl that never existed who has been missing for a year. Or that underarm deodorant that causes cancer, or tampons that contain asbestos, and every other foolish Urban Legend that seems to find it's way to my inbox. I'm not even getting started on the chain letters, which pontificate that my tits will fall off if I don't forward this message to at least 60 people in the next minute.

I'm Losing My Mind!

At least that's what I announced today, to which my son replied, "you know mom if it's gone for more than three days, it's lost forever."

It made me think about how many times I have misplaced something not too serious and was completely unable to locate it because of the apparent three-day expiration date. Important things are searched for until they are found, like the TV remote or car keys. But unimportant things, like a bill that's not due until next month, a book or a menu for a Chinese food place you like are often gone until you've either called to find out how much owe, replace the book or just go to the restaurant and wing the take out. Until he mentioned it, I never thought about it or gave it a lot of thought, so I further queried if I don't find my mind within three days, will I never find it again. He looked at me with a duh look on his face and said emphatically, "Oh you'll find it when you're looking for something else but you'll just pass over it, hoping you'll remember where you saw it later."

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

I'm just not feeling well today, I've been very thirsty, my head feels like it's 3 times bigger than it should be, my nose and throat are itchy. Yes, I've caught a cold, probably from one of the little boogers I live with. The kids have been snotty (literally, not figuratively) off and on now weeks and they've finally passed it on to me.

Oregon Governor Attempts to Garner Support for Food Stamp Issues

The Governor of Oregon is doing the unthinkable trying to eat well on $21.00 a day! If people can travel on 40 dollars a day it actually sounds fairly reasonable that people can eat well at home for 20 dollars a day. An average family of four could expect a little more than 600 per month just to spend on groceries (21x30=630). Hell, ever since I started seriously examining what we've been spending on groceries in the past, I've been trying to stick to 500 a month. If I really dedicate myself to this number I find I can do it, but it requires careful planning and eliminating all extra trips to the store for no real reason. So, if I stick to my budget I can't just walk into the store in need of milk and walk out with 60 dollars of crap.

Maybe the Oregon Governor is onto something? In the clip I saw on TV his wife had provided him with a shopping list, which included 'organic' bananas'. I'm sorry but that speaks volumes for his wife's ability to save money since 'organic' bananas are a complete waste of money, when you consider their thick inedible skins. If you're really concerned about chemicals on your fruits and veggies, then do a little research first before you start throwing away money.

Well Duh

A couple weeks ago, my older son came home from school and proclaimed that he was told, "condoms don't work." I was aghast and couldn't believe that was what said to him, but upon further questioning it turned out that was his take on it when they explained they "don't always work."

I had to have the difficult talk that went into much more detail than the school did and I was surprised how well the talk went. I explained that condoms are 97% effective when used correctly and even went into a little detail on how to know if they're working right. He also confided they talked a lot about "abstinence," which I'm all for as long as it is in the proper context. Which from what I can gather, this wasn't. They talked about saying no to sex the same way in the 80's they talked to me about saying no to drugs and we all know how well that worked out. Talking just abstinence and telling students half the facts like 'condoms don't always work' is just wrong to me. I guess now studies have proven that abstinence only programs don't work and kids just as likely to have sex. Well duh!

It reminds me of the Just Say No campaign in the 80's when they sent a survey for students to fill out about their personal drug use. The "survey" had just a few yes or no answers and most required that you write out answers. Anyone in high school that had forgotten to write their name on something knew the teacher had a clue what your handwriting looked like or what your writing style was. Plus my teacher that handed out the 'survey' was kinda narkish. Yeah, I lied on it and so did everyone else I knew. How else could you explain the government poll that showed drug use in teens had dropped? Ask them questions in a non-anonymous way and maybe the anwers would be different.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Random Rants and One Whimsy

6:51 PM Tuesday Night
My Home

Mulder and Scully should be called at once; a helicopter hovered over my area for a few minutes last night. It resembled very much an alien vessel as it hovered just beyond the tall cedars causing even at that distance, their limbs to gently sway. The dog and children jumped up and down excitedly while briefly images of the TV show Jericho flashed in my mind. Just as quickly as it appeared the helicopter went away, lost in a sea of clouds and trees, only the sound remaining.

I watched the evening but no reports of the helicopter were reported, I guess they don't care much what goes on in lost cow territory.

Blame NASA

I've now come up with a new conspiracy theory about the whole Anna Nicole thing and it's probably as ludicrous as what really happened, which likely we'll never know about. AbbyNormal, in a comment on the last post, reminded me about the Astronaut that drove a thousand miles, while wearing an adult diaper, to confront the girlfriend of the man she was obsessed with. That happened just before the whole Anna Nicole is dead thing, and leads me now to think about how serendipitously well-timed NASA was as that story took Astronaut debacle off the front page. I wonder if NASA at the very least sent flowers or something to the baby, but I also began to muse that maybe it was NASA that had her eliminated. Really if they can put a man on the moon, certainly they can figure out a way to kill off a woman who is admittedly a train wreck. It does make me wonder with my tongue planted firmly in cheek.

Why I've Grown to Hate PodCasts

Maybe it's because I don't have a long commute and I'm not in my car very long during the day, or maybe it's because I prefer to read. I haven't really narrowed the field down any further, but I've grown to hate PodCasts given by pseudo-expert wannabes with an over-inflated sense of ego and purpose. The people doing this, often starved for attention anyway, and passionate that they have something worthwhile to share, often become egotistical about what they do. I caught about 10 minutes one day of a "podcast" about something I don't care to mention here but learned nothing that I didn't already know and found the banter between three "hosts" to be downright annoying. Their attitudes and the name-dropping lost any real information I was trying to glean. If I had heard one more time the name someone being a personal friend of so and so, I was seriously going to vomit. Instead I decided to turn it off.

While I'm on the Subject of Things I Hate

I might as well admit the so-called freelance writers out there with blogs that include the little donation box also annoy me. You know the ones that say they pour their heart and soul into each post as though they'd just given birth. What the fuck? Quit your whining and grow up, you do it for yourself and because you like it, otherwise why bother. They might have been "published" in a few periodicals with limited readership but again, who the fuck cares? If you're doing it in the hopes that you'll turn a buck because you can't afford to feed your family get a real fucking job ass-wipe. If you've already got a real fucking job, then count your blessings, have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Don't try to convince me into the notion that you'd like a couple bucks because if I enjoy reading your blog. No fucking better than a televangelist, asking for "donations" to keep their show on the air, while wearing their nice suits and praising god that they paid their electric bills.

You can tell when things really piss me off when I start using fuck a lot, can't you?

Changing Seasons

As some have noticed in the recent months my blog, especially following a respite from blogging, has taken on a new direction—well, maybe not exactly a new direction entirely. Over the past year, I've blogged less often about the children and husband, and more about other events that catch my eye. In part because the children are growing up and the web being what it is, it just doesn't feel right anymore. I'm also going to do a little housekeeping on the blog, so stay tuned.

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved

Enough Already

Clip Me Baby One More Time (Also From the Big Fucking Deal File)

The princess of pop (read crap) has shaved her head, apparently to coordinate with her twat, got tattooed, and nearly missed her plane. She whined to the ticket counter that she had to see her boys. As if she gives a shit about her fucking boys because if she did, she would be there taking care of them not fucking partying around the fucking country with that equally dumb bitch Paris Hilton. She's out of control, the headlines read. Who cares? She's a fucking dumbshit! I can't believe that her equally dumb so to be ex husband was really the smart one in that couple. He's handed her the rope, and she's hung herself with it. And all the crocodile tears won't change it.

The Lead Story

Every fucking channel's lead story still is the fucking Anna Nicole crap that seems as endless as the men stepping claiming to be the baby's father. I'm still thinking her lawyer/boyfriend/toady whatever he was, has some serious questions to answer like why her will still had her son on it. And don't give me that, she was too distraught bullshit either. All she had to do was sign her name on a fucking cocktail napkin. If she was well enough to hold that fake wedding and swim, she was certainly well enough to do that.

That said, Howie just as executor does stand to get some money out of the deal, regardless of who gets the real assets. I'm sure he's sleeping well. Two down; just one to go.

News From Here

Which is not nearly as exciting as what CNN turned tabloid TV would report. My kitchen is sty, and any minute I'm expecting the health department to show up and put up yellow tape around it. We spent the whole weekend doing stuff. Stuff that obviously kept me from cleaning the kitchen like getting thoroughly loaded on Friday night, which was fun, and the ever popular getting up hideously early in the morning (read 9:30 AM) to go shopping with mom in law.

Rainbird was stuck taking the boys to the custom car show. I'm not sure who got the better end, but at least I was home by noon after a marathon-shopping trip. I even ran through Target and didn't spend any time looking at anything other than what my throbbing head would allow. I spent a lot of time on the pain reliever aisle; I also spent a lot of time remembering how to spell the word "aisle" I kept coming up with isle. I'm amazed at how many people confuse the two just look at google and you'll see hits like "Isles and Isles of RV's". I don't think that's what they meant to say but maybe they do mean small islands or peninsulas.

I've now digressed so far off topic I can't even recall where I was going with this. Lets change topics.

Moving Right Along

I just visited Abby Normal's blog and got a huge laugh regarding her manboob post…I won't spoil it for you but you can read it for yourself here.

A friend wrote me an email saying her daughter watches Full House. I must confess Fredo watches that show on nick at night when he doesn't have school the next day. I think he likes Michelle on the show. Pissboy will even watch it sometimes; he commented that he thought that Fredo thought Michelle was hot. I, in turn, showed him a picture of the Olson twins now.

He couldn't watch the show anymore, found it too disturbing. Uh huh, now who thinks Michelle is hot?

Jamie Sommers (aka the Bionic Woman) has taken on not only a Bionic Baby but also now she's taken on the Bionic Bison, a currently 30 lb, English Mastiff puppy.

Y2K.2?

My computer is informing me that it's updating the new Daylight Savings Time, which is just another thing to thank Congress and our fearless leader for. What exactly is the point to changing the time change anyway? I would much rather they just left the time alone, one or the other thank you and stop this silly switching back and forth all together. How much in resources and manpower is being spent on fixing this problem that the Fed for whatever their meager reasons felt it necessary to annoy the public in an unfair way.

Must they always pass laws or edicts that have serious impact with our day-to-day lives without so much as asking about the impact of their actions?

I wonder if Pat Robertson is touting that people buy generators for this debacle?

© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved