Toxic Waste

So, here I am laying bed all snugly and warm, my head swirling with images of George Clooney about to ravage my body, when I start to sniff, both in the dream and in reality. You know, those brief moments while you're still asleep but at the same vaguely awake. I hear a toilet flush, moments later I feel the bed bounce a little, George Clooney is banished from my consciousness, as I become more aware of a stench filling the room.

I cover my head and think to myself, George Clooney come back, I tightly shut my eyes, and continue albeit vainly trying to get the dream back, but unless George has a violent case of the diarrhea, it isn't happening. Frankly that's just not that appealing to me anyway. A short while later the alarm was going off where the My Dick song could be heard and I slam the alarm, fall back asleep, and again George has returned and all I can think is, NOT NOW....there isn't enough time.

I wake again to a different song and shut off the alarm and ramble out of bed. Thus begins the day.

The My Dick Song Explained

It was 1974, and my mom was very much into pop music and AM Radio, and in our area, KFRC was the station everyone listened to. Dr Don Rose was the AM jock and a powerhouse, telling silly one-liners, talking over the music, singing along, everything a morning jock was supposed to be before shock took over. He'd blow horns, and woke people up with smile. I know it seems silly and pedestrian now but back then radio was supposed to be fun. His wake-up, drive-time slot was number one for a decade; long after I had stopped listening in favor of better music. Music in the 70's was different, especially before Disco and the Bee Gees, but still upbeat, however misheard lyrics are a universal thing especially in the days before lyrics displayed on liner notes, the internet, and closed captioning (for the TV crowd). Hence the My Dick song. A vaguely recalled group called Pilot penned a hit with Magic in 1974. I guess they were Scottish, which could be why I always believed the song was about some guy singing about his dick. Here's the Youtube of the song and you can decide for yourself, is he not clearly singing MY DICK, instead of Magic?




So, for however long it remained on the charts and popular that particular song was played every morning at 7:35, just after the news break on KFRC, has been forever known, if only to me, the My Dick song. Over the years I'm sure I've misheard other lyrics but none have stuck with me the way that song has.

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