The Whine Heard Round the World
"I can't be here, I'm famous and I had PMS, then I got killer cramps," Paris Hilton exclaimed between sobs to her shrink as she scratched herself raw and mumbled incoherently about the damned spots. Yes, she's been released to mansion and must wear an ankle bracelet for the next 40 days. Isn't that terrible? Party at Paris'! BOYB. Members of the Press Welcomed!
I'm really beyond annoyed by this "mystery illness" that doesn't require hospitalization and yet does require immediate release from the LA County Jail to the comfort of her mansion. I suppose the next complaint will be that the ankle bracelet she's supposed to wear for the 40 days will amount to cruel and inhumane punishment because it causes chaffing.
The reality is EVERYONE in the LA County Jail will be released and sent home with ankle bracelets, in fact, and the jail closed. Oh that's not going to happen? Only the uber wealthy Paris gets to go home? No surprise there I guess though I can feel the tremors from defense attorneys with clients in the County Jail all filing papers that their client suffers from the same mystery illness.
It's amazing what whining, coupled with pseudo fame and a shit load of money will get you.
Yes, I want to be convicted of reckless driving, then have my license suspended, get caught later driving, complain that I didn't understand the rules and no one explained to me that meant I couldn't drive, and then get a slap-on-the-wrist sentence, and finally whine until they release me to comfort of my own mansion. Wait, I don't own a mansion and I wouldn't be arrested for reckless driving, and I certainly would understand what the words "suspended license" means—and most of all I lack the money and mansion--I know I already said that last bit about the mansion, but bears repeating. What a big fucking waste of the California tax payers money! Maybe everyone should be released and sent to Paris' mansion for "house arrest."
BE A FUCKING MAN
If the real reason that dumb bitch was released is because the sheriff couldn't handle the constant calls and paparazzi stalking the jail, and disruption to regular prisoners, then SAY THAT MOTHER FUCKER. Don't say that she's released for a mystery illness that NO ONE is going to fucking believe anyway! For that she'd better have the same highly contagious, drug resistant TB!
Waaaaa Waaaaa
Famous people shouldn't be given a walk that the rest of us would NEVER get and frankly I'm tired of the shit. I'm tired of hearing about how they're hiding in rehab for this or that, and then hear about the plans for the big birthday blowout at some super hot nightclub. Sorry if you're an alcoholic or addict days after you get out of rehab isn't the time to hit a club. I'm seriously missing the easy breezy 90's when all the stars were coming out of the closet and saying they were gay. Even if they changed their minds when the novelty ran out—somehow I found it easier to understand.
© 2007 Whimsical Ranter
All Rights Reserved
7 comments:
Free Paris
How do you get anonymous comments?
anyway...
the mystery illness probably involves the staph infections that were going around the hospital that (really) were reported on the news.
Alas... I'm going to see if I can go the rest of the night without getting yelled at my people trying to bilk the financial aid and grant system for buku dollars.
Yes, in the words of the Sex Pistols, I am the anti-christ!!!
I allow all comments. Always have.
Okay, staph infections...hmmmm...if the general prison population gets it too, they get to go home? I'm sorry but I don't buy it--there was something else they could have done, like treated her for the infection, and returned her ass to jail.
Paris did nothing wrong. She was imprisoned because of her fame.
I'm sorry Mrs. Hilton (er ah Anonymous), she was sent to jail because she broke the law.
Just goes to show how much injustice there is in our justice system.
Whatever happened to you do the crime, you pay the time?
I like the idea of everyone in the LA cty prison getting sent home on house arrest at Paris' place!
She's famous because she's a slut and has filthy rich parents. Get a real job.
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